Tinder Experiences

[LoverOfDance]

I've been on Tinder for about 3 days now. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. What are your experiences with the site? Do you like or dislike it?

[coolheadal]

I rather go to a party than be waiting around for some women to like me!

[vee123]

No dice for me. Get some matches every now and again, usually don't chat. I thought I'll try Premium...same results...

[LoverOfDance]

@vee123 I don't get it. Why do you swipe right on someone you don't like or want to talk to?

Edited November 4, 2017 by LoverOfDance

[normal person]

I love it, personally. The people who you should avoid are usually easily avoided. I've met some of the most appealing, attractive people I've ever met on there. These are successful, sensible women who don't fit the typical "Tinder" stereotype that it's an ap for people who just want to hook up. There are plenty of people on there just looking to broaden their search a bit.

[Miss Spider]

What's not to love of about how consumerism has finally reached it's logical consequence of allowing us to shop for human beings online? A dating platform that caters human narccissism, superficiality, irrational emotions, insecurities, desire for instant gratification? Now we have a perfectly acceptable way to be shallow, knowing we are among like-minded people.

 

Also, interacting in the 'real' world is not really the most efficient thing these days. If you're feeling a little hungry, you go to GrubHub. If you want some red bottoms you go to Tradesy. You decide you want a human being? You go to Tinder.

 

You go on there and start shopping for your 'goods'. You might have an idea of what you want or you might just be browsing hoping something catches your eye. The most important part is that it looks good. Doesn't mean it has to be what 'society' says you need, because you're so above that kind of superficiality. But it has to look desirable in a way practical to you.

 

Then you can read the couple sentence description and if that checks out. Sometimes, similarly to how if it's packaged nicely, the description can augment your desire to choose it. If it doesn't come with any description or label, it's a little buyer beware. However, if it looks how we want it to, it's probably worth the cheap cost.

 

The goods (people, of course, in the case of Tinder) here are so cheap that we can afford to buy it even if it comes a little damaged or not as great as we hoped. We can always decide to not to use it or or use briefly and discard without much cost to us.

Edited November 4, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[viatori patuit]

I am marrying someone I met off tinder. I also had a date with a girl who had two felony meth convictions. (Not the same girl).

 

Like everything, it is what you make of it. I loved while I was on there. I met lots of people and had a great time.

[CryForNoOne]

@vee123 I don't get it. Why do you swipe right on someone you don't like or want to talk to?

 

Lol. He's a man, you're a woman. It's a completely different experience. What he's saying is that he sends them a message and they never reply. That's the experience for the bottom 80% of guys unless they target the bottom 20% of women.

[KBob]

The bull***t to positive experiences is very high, in my experience.

 

What exactly are you looking for?

[bluefeather]

If you're feeling a little hungry, you go to GrubHub. If you want some red bottoms you go to Tradesy. You decide you want a human being? You go to Tinder.

 

Ha! If only it were as simple as you described. Tinder won't so easily deliver a woman to anyone's door.

[grays]

I tindered for almost three years and had a blast, met several people that I care about a lot. I dated the first guy I met on Tinder for a year and a half. I think its great.

[Erik30]

It's fine as long as you don't take it too seriously. You might meet some cool people who could become your gf/bf, or you can go weeks/months without having a real conversation on the app. I've had both happen to me

[Andy_K]

Ha! If only it were as simple as you described. Tinder won't so easily deliver a woman to anyone's door.

 

No, but it'll deliver a man easily enough. You'd be hard pressed to find any attractive woman on tinder who couldn't set up 2-3 dates in a day if she wanted to.

[CryForNoOne]

It's fine as long as you don't take it too seriously. You might meet some cool people who could become your gf/bf, or you can go weeks/months without having a real conversation on the app. I've had both happen to me

 

That has been my experience. The very first day I signed up, I met a smart, attractive woman that I dated for a while so I thought the app was a dream come true. Anyway, since then its been sometimes weeks without a real convo unless I resort to swiping right to women that are way beneath my league.

 

It's also a bit of a myth that Tinder is an all you eat buffet of supermodels for hot looking guys. One of my best friends is a ridiculously good looking actor - as in he only gets typed cast as the douchy alpha male. He looks like Christian Bale, but better looking. Anyway, on more than one occasion, we've compared matches and swiped on each other's phone. His match is rate is ridiculous. Every third swipe is a match. He'll get 30-40 matches before he runs out of swipes. But 95% of the women are not even close to being in his league. Absolutely no problem scoring a date with the plain Janes. He can often get away with saying the most lewd $h!t. Like I remember a girl was eating a sausage in one of her pics and we opened with something about if she also likes having his dick in her mouth. She replies "lol both" and within 5 messages he had a number. And what he wrote in his profile was irrelevant. He got just as many matches when he listed himself as "homeless at unemployed". If anything, it led to more convos because they asked him about that. He did score some hot dates, but still lots of ghosting and he tended to date down. So if a good looking guy just wants to get laid, it's great. A real relationship takes time and work. For women though, it's almost an instant ego boost so long as you realize the odds are EXTREMELY high that you're going to get used if you're not a knockout and you hookup with very good looking guys...

[chinadiary]

I've had quite a lot of blokes obviously looking for a shag. As soon as you tell them, 'no casual' they disappear.

 

The guys that I'm still in touch with seem to be very genuine blokes. One is fast turning into a long term friend.

[LoverOfDance]

@CryForNoOne You speak as though the whole beauty thing is written in stone. Remember that one person's "knock out" is another person's "okay looking". For example, Christian Bale in American Psycho has a great body but overall I find him to be okay looking. Not bad, just okay for me. To somebody else he is definitely a "knock out". To each his own.

[chinadiary]

@CryForNoOne You speak as though the whole beauty thing is written in stone. Remember that one person's "knock out" is another person's "okay looking". For example, Christian Bale in American Psycho has a great body but overall I find him to be okay looking. Not bad, just okay for me. To somebody else he is definitely a "knock out". To each his own.

 

 

 

Exactly. Those I think are seriously sexy most would think are left swipe only. Those the average girl is supposed to think is hot (built, big shoulders, small waist) leave me cold. Zero interest. Attraction is subjective.

[bluefeather]

No, but it'll deliver a man easily enough. You'd be hard pressed to find any attractive woman on tinder who couldn't set up 2-3 dates in a day if she wanted to.

 

Irrelevant to my point.

[Cobra_X]

@CryForNoOne You speak as though the whole beauty thing is written in stone. Remember that one person's "knock out" is another person's "okay looking". For example, Christian Bale in American Psycho has a great body but overall I find him to be okay looking. Not bad, just okay for me. To somebody else he is definitely a "knock out". To each his own.

 

You clearly don't understand the Tinder experience. A woman who is perhaps a 6 in terms of attractiveness will often get a 50% match rate. That means 50% of the guys she is attracted to are attracted to her back.

 

A man who is a 6 will have a match ratio of perhaps 1%. That means of 100 women he finds attractive only 1 will match with him.

 

Now keep in mind that women are so inundated with matches, that they often select from the most attractive pool. This means that average looking women are spending most of their time chasing highly attractive men. Men who are literally drowning in female attention.

 

The whole "there is someone out there for everybody"... is complete horsesh*t. Only women tell themselves that to avoid having to improve themselves. Men know that in dating the only way to get what they want is to work like hell at being better. I literally call your attitude "female privilege".

[LoverOfDance]

@Cobra X Where did you get these numbers/results? Did you do some kind of survey or research on Tinder users?

 

Of course women will pick those who THEY find most attractive. Are they supposed to pick men who they feel lukewarm about??

 

But listen, here's the good news - BEAUTY IS SUBJECTIVE. I am telling you, I've seen women drooling over men who I looked at and thought to myself - "I feel no attraction whatsoever towards this person".

And even if most people find someone to be "good looking", there are still people who will feel differently.

 

Just to digress a bit, I notice a lot of men working out more and claiming that they are improving themselves. Working out and getting more abs and muscles is not necessarily self improvement if you ask me. More abs and muscles simply increases your dating pool to include women who are crazy about muscles and abs. For me, physical self improvement would be maintaining good personal hygiene, eating well/healthy and staying fit.

 

A lot of men claim they are "improving" themselves to make themselves more attractive and that if they don't "improve" themselves, they won't be able to get the women they want. Men buy new cars, make more money and work out excessively to attract women. When men do these things, they haven't necessarily improved themselves. They've just added things to their lives that some women are attracted to. In a reverse similar situation, a woman might decide to get a boob job and/or butt implants in order to "improve" herself and become more attractive. If she does this, her dating pool will increase to include men who like big boobs and big butts and she will certainly get more matches on Tinder. But has she improved herself?

 

 

All I'm saying is that a lot of men (and even women as well) are trying too hard. Simply take care of yourself both physically and internally. Take care of yourself in all areas of your life. You don't have to do too much. YOU ARE ENOUGH. I hope all of this makes sense.

Edited November 6, 2017 by LoverOfDance

[Vyliss]

Well, I think for most women it's fairly easy to get "sexual attention" even if you're average or below average looking. That's not the problem. The problem is getting a decent guy to want a relationship with you. For those women who put too much emphasis on looks (like Tinder does), they need to realize looks is a VERY small part of the equation (esp true if you're a good looking girl).

 

To do well on Tinder - and just about any online dating site - it will come down to your attitude, your personality, how much effort you put in intellectually speaking. That's if you want an edge as an average to even super model hot woman. Other wise you're just gonna get guys who want sex and be discouraged like 99% of men on those dating sites.

[rightondude]

I have a tinder supplied date tonight. Supposedly. Thus far my experience has been all over the map. I'll update how it goes.

 

She looks gorgeous from her pics. But they're all shoulder level and above.

[CryForNoOne]

OP, you started this thread to hear people's experiences on Tinder because you are a newb. You didn't like what you heard so now all of a sudden you are an expert??? I hate to break it to you, but what CobraX has said about Tinder is pretty much spot on. He even started a thread giving advice on how to succeed on Tinder. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/638911-how-make-tinder-work-you

 

Now I don't really know his credentials for being a Tinder "expert" but I will say his observations are in line with my experiences and those of my male and female friends. There are also tons of "how to hookup" articles on player sites, "Tinder experiment" joke videos on YouTube by attention seekers, and also some extremely objective scholarly analysis such as the "economy of Tinder" by the WSJ, that all say the same thing. Case in point, this particularly nasty assessment by the Washington Post aptly titled "Why Everyone is Miserable on Tinder":

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/07/26/why-everyone-is-miserable-on-tinder/?utm_term=.ef2735232c54

 

Of course physical attraction is subjective. But we can all agree that there are some ideals for physical attractiveness that are almost universal; tall men / slim women, symmetrical features etc... Those tendencies really get exaggerated when someone has the ability to swipe yes no to hundreds of "pieces of meat" in minutes. So personal taste has VERY little to do with it if a guy only matches with 0.6% of his likes, messages only 7% of his matches (because he lowered his standards so much just to get a match, he's actually not interested in 93%), receives a reply from 53%, and only gets a number from 19% of those. BTW Those are the Washington Post article statistics. It takes an "average" guy just under 2500 swipe rights to get ONE phone number. That's not even a guarantee of a date. How much choice does he have there???

 

Now for women, the experience is totally different, but as the Washington Post article states, most women are miserable on Tinder as well. The two most common female profile words are "No hookups". Why? Well I'm sure many women legitimately aren't interested in hookups, but then I wonder WTF are you on Tinder instead of OKC, POF, or Match.com??? But it's well known that many women get pumped and dumped on Tinder and it takes two to tango. For every woman who has sex off of Tinder, there is obviously a guy on the giving end. Well if the average guy needs to swipe right 2500 times just to get a phone number, well then some "not average" i.e. "hot" guy is certainly getting laid a lot. And if he's getting laid that much, he certainly isn't cultivating long term relationships. You do the math. Hence experienced female Tinder users write "No hookups..."

Edited November 6, 2017 by CryForNoOne

[Cam1]

What are your experiences with the site? Do you like or dislike it?

I hate tinder, honestly. I've met a lot of interesting people, gone on way too many meet ups, but nothing real has panned out from it.

 

Of the guys I've actually dated on tinder, I went out with one for 3 months, two others for about a month apiece.

 

I find that guys from Tinder bail out sooner and you always have a lingering level of doubt that they're probably still on the app, or using other platforms, while pretending they're really into you.

 

I have actually made some decent friends on tinder.

 

That being said, one of my good friends just met his now girlfriend on tinder, so good stories do happen.

[rightondude]

I have a tinder supplied date tonight. Supposedly. Thus far my experience has been all over the map. I'll update how it goes.

 

She looks gorgeous from her pics. But they're all shoulder level and above.

 

SCINTILLATING UPDATE: she called it off an hour beforehand: "Is it possible for me to get a raincheck? it's been a bad afternoon and I have a stress headache."

 

Oh well. FWIW I prefer Bumble anyway. Since women get bombarded with choices, if one actually does choose you, you can have some level of confidence in them actually moving forward.