Starseed420 Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I had plans with the guy I am dating exclusively (both of us discussed this and refer to as BF/GF) and I texted him to confirm the plans over four hours ago and so far has not responded, but HAS posted on social media, so he is obviously looking at his phone - is it okay to call him out? Saying something along the lines of "I thought we were supposed to get together tonight, I texted you to confirm our plans and haven't heard back, but you've posted on social media, so you must have seen the text".. I don't want to seem like a crazy girl, watching his social media, but I did just happen to see he posted. It's still very early in the relationship (two months) and I am afraid to call him out for this in fear of looking "crazy" Last night, he texted me to hangout and I didn't answer for a few hours because I was sleeping during the day due to illness. I told him the reason for me not having texted back earlier, but I am thinking maybe he is not answering on purpose because of this?
Trip2TheSky Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 It is best not to jump to conclusions and just ask if he is still available for your evening plans. There is no need to call this guy out on something so petty and maybe give him more time to get back to you, seeing as the night is still young. 3
StephenV Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I've got a friend who does this - she posts on SM but ignores my messages; it's frustrating! Don't say that, no. Can you call him? Don't send another text. Contact him in a way that you'll speak to him directly, i.e a call. That's what I'd do. I'm sure he'll get back to you at some point if you have concrete plans and you're actually together 1
Highndry Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I don't think you should say anything, just wait for him to contact you. If he flakes on the plans, that's even worse than getting back to you late. Whenever he does finally contact you, that's the time to have the conversation about his flaking, and decide where to go from there. If I was in a 2 month relationship with a woman and she had agreed to plans to go out, then ignored me and didn't call or go, I would probably break up with her. That's a dealbreaker, for me. 5
guest569 Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 Yeah it would be a bit crazy to send angry texts. Just proceed and if he bails, go out with a friend instead 2
Miss Spider Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 (edited) this is a red flag to me. edit: saw a previous post of yours titled "boyfriend seems to be ignoring me" yea this seems to be a pattern and 2 months in. Not looking good. Edited November 4, 2017 by Cookiesandough 2
basil67 Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 I don't see anything wrong with texting again, but I'd change the question to be "hey, did you see my text?" It's too much of a leap to assume he saw the text. Especially if he's been using different devices.
MidwestUSA Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 You did quite enough damage with your drunken antics the other night. I'd let this one go. Try to cut back on the drinking. 2
act00 Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 You seem to be rather dramatic, and he might be backing off accordingly. You texted him you wanted to see him, he texted back "great," you go out and get drunk and at 3 a.m. realize he never texted you back (but he did), left a drunk text that doesn't sound good, and blocked him. Hopefully he didn't notice you blocked him. I see blocking as a rather nuclear response, and between the drama created by you and blocking me afterwards, I think I'd be calling this one a bust. I don't know what the rest of your relationship has been like, but I wonder if this was just the straw that broke the camel's back. If he's ignoring you in retaliation, he's not someone you want to be with. We get suspicious of flakes and excuses, but you do need to take these at face value at first, and if he didn't take the fact that you were sick at face value, and acting out by "getting back" at you and ignoring you, he's immature. The only thing you can do now is wait. See what happens. Continue to reach out, and if he is fading out, he's fading out. Move on. Be more careful of your emotions and especially emotional outbursts, particularly when drinking. You're obviously insecure about his feelings for you and acting out. I don't know if it's all in your head or if his behaviors are prompting this insecurity. For the one, you need to work on fixing that, and for the other, move on, he's not worth it. 1
joseb Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 "Saying something along the lines of "I thought we were supposed to get together tonight, I texted you to confirm our plans and haven't heard back, but you've posted on social media, so you must have seen the text".." Yeah that bit about social media does sounds just a bit crazy. Don't say that.
GemmaUK Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 Maybe he's got second thoughts after the Saturday night incidents. Two months in you're only just scratching the surface of getting to know each other. If I'd experienced the kind of drama you've previously described I would likely be seriously thinking about things but also I may well not respond to see what reaction it provokes to see if this is a trend. I prefer to see how a person acts rather than trust their words. This is a bit of a sticky one though too in that you had agreed to meet on the Saturday and then you didn't, seemingly forgot and remembered at 3am. It would have been better and more considerate to say you were on a drinking night with friends and instead of agreeing to meet you would have been wiser to suggest you see each other another time. I think you just need to see how this pans out but equally you might just have to bear the brunt of similar behaviour from him as you displayed towards him. If you're seeing someone and they are a good person being considerate is important even if being considerate means saying no to a meet up when you may be aware that you could get carried away with the night you are currently out on. 1
Author Starseed420 Posted November 4, 2017 Author Posted November 4, 2017 Well I guess it turns out his phone died, and he plugged it in when he could. I didn't end up seeing him since I made other plans. Cut down on the drinking? I actually don't drink, that was the first time in a year because it was a Halloween party - so I don't think I have to worry about drinking affecting my relationships. 1
act00 Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 Well I guess it turns out his phone died, and he plugged it in when he could. I didn't end up seeing him since I made other plans. Cut down on the drinking? **I actually don't drink**, that was the *first time in a year* because it was a Halloween party - so I don't think I have to worry about drinking affecting my relationships. Apparently it did affect your relationship, and since you don't drink often, you don't know how to hold your liquor or know when to stop or where your limits are, let alone make smart choices while under the influence. I'm not kicking you, OP; we've all made mistakes while under the influence, and drunk texting is a biggie. We've all had one too many. You need to be more careful, and if you are that determined to unload your grievances on your boyfriend or *anyone* while plowed, open up a memo or open up an email with no one addressed in the "to" box, and write away. There is no way to intentionally or unintentionally send...when your common sense is hiding under a rock somewhere with a bottle of Jack. Sleep on it. Your drinking did affect your relationship. Your boyfriend, while stunned, may chalk it up to you being an inexperienced and stupid drinker, but you still threw a whammy at him. All you can do is hope for the best and not be so dramatic. Communicate. What prompted this? Is he consistently leaving you unsure and on shaky ground by his actions, or is this just you in your head?
Highndry Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 (edited) Well I guess it turns out his phone died, and he plugged it in when he could. I didn't end up seeing him since I made other plans. Cut down on the drinking? I actually don't drink, that was the first time in a year because it was a Halloween party - so I don't think I have to worry about drinking affecting my relationships. I read your other thread since it was mentioned so often here. "His phone died" is a lie. If he was on the computer then he's got power to charge it. A lost phone charger is the only excuse for a dead phone. He used an excuse that seemed plausible and that you couldn't question. Given your other thread I think the reality is that he didn't want to talk to you or meet up. I would bet he's having second thoughts about the relationship. Edited November 4, 2017 by Highndry spelling 5
MidwestUSA Posted November 5, 2017 Posted November 5, 2017 Well I guess it turns out his phone died, and he plugged it in when he could. I didn't end up seeing him since I made other plans. Cut down on the drinking? I actually don't drink, that was the first time in a year because it was a Halloween party - so I don't think I have to worry about drinking affecting my relationships. In your prior post, you stated that you had gone out, and 'needless to say' (your words) ended up drunk. The implication is that you do this often. I think that's where we're getting the idea that you drink. It did sound like this guy was giving you a bit of payback, and I can't say I blame him. Good luck.
Recommended Posts