Stopme Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 OK, so I started dating a guy about six weeks ago who ticks a lot of boxes. He lost his girlfriend to cancer, apparently two years ago. He says he is over it now and wants to find a relationship. Along comes me. I'm not sure if if this guy is depressed, selfish or just looking for a hook-up. He claims he wants a relationship but doesn't put any effort in. He invites me to his place (for a movie/drink) which inevitably is not a move/drink and that's about it. This is not very often either because he works two jobs. I got to liking this guy but at one point after about six weeks I invited him to my place, he said a friend was coming over so he couldn't come. I told him goodbye because I was sick of being a non-priority. We didn't communicate for about two weeks. Then he reappeared, texting 'thinking of you' etc and now we are catching up but it is at his place again. He just doesn't seem to get it, I want to go out with a potential boyfriend not just hang out. He also has photos of the ex in the house still. Thoughts? Are these red flags or should I catch up with him for this 'date' and get some sort of explanation? Is he just thinking 'fwb'?
kassy Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 I think it's unlikely that he will give you what you want from a relationship. I'd move on
Ruby Slippers Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 If he's offering less than you'd like, don't accept. I'd never, ever go to a guy's house for an early date. A lot of women these days set the bar extremely low, so a lot of men have grown lazy about dating. But there are a few who still know how to romance a woman properly.
HarmonyDriven Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 He claims he wants a relationship but doesn't put any effort in. He invites me to his place (for a movie/drink) which inevitably is not a move/drink and that's about it. This is not very often either because he works two jobs. I got to liking this guy but at one point after about six weeks I invited him to my place, he said a friend was coming over so he couldn't come. I told him goodbye because I was sick of being a non-priority. We didn't communicate for about two weeks. Then he reappeared, texting 'thinking of you' etc and now we are catching up but it is at his place again. He just doesn't seem to get it, I want to go out with a potential boyfriend not just hang out. He also has photos of the ex in the house still. Thoughts? Are these red flags or should I catch up with him for this 'date' and get some sort of explanation? Is he just thinking 'fwb'? IMO, this guy does not appear to be the right guy for you. The bold/underlined words says it all. IMO, time to move on.....he is not the only fish in the sea.
TheTraveler Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 IMO, this guy does not appear to be the right guy for you. The bold/underlined words says it all. IMO, time to move on.....he is not the only fish in the sea. Yep He's just looking to hook up. Move on because it's clearly not what you want in a man. 1
guest569 Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 He lost his girlfriend to cancer, apparently two years ago. He says he is over it now and wants to find a relationship. Along comes me. Did he use those words "over it"? That sounds off to me. sounds pretty cold.
coolheadal Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 You did it right the first time he didn't come over because he had another woman coming over. You are right not to be considered non-priority. Right there you cut it off. Why did you got back to him just because he missed you. Your feelings got the best of you and you let him in again. This guy not for you. I would have gone to your house. He didn't want to go.. Listen learn here is never trust a man who didn't make you his top-priority! End of Story.. Go find a real may love you and be bf to his gf *you
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