kaylfava Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 I was in a disastrous relationship with a man for about 7 months. During that time he was depressed, hated his job, and dumped everything on me. Being codependent, I took it all in hopes that I could help fix him. Well, one night, after MONTHS of listening to him cry, talk about suicide, bitch about his job, etc., I told him I thought he needed professional help. He got pissed and broke up with me, basically blaming me for the end of the relationship. Okay. That's fine. I apologized profusely, told him I cared for him, and let it go. This was 3 weeks ago. Well... until tonight when I checked his facebook profile (yes, mistake, I know), and saw he posted a picture of him and a new girl yesterday. People commented "Oh what a cute couple!" Another woman, who is the wife of one of his ex bandmates, said "I know these two!" which implies this girl was around when he was in the band, which was ONLY while we were dating (e.g. he started with them and left them during our 7 months). I just... I can't believe it. All this time he would moan about how his ex girlfriends cheated on him and then this. I mean, sure, maybe she's just a friend, but... c'mon. I just feel so betrayed. I want to text him and just say "**** you never talk to me again," but I know that's the wrong thing to do. I was *this* close to being pretty much over it, and now I feel hurt all over again. What an awful feeling. Sorry, I just had to vent.
HarmonyDriven Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 OP, IMO, you dodged a bullet big time! Sounds like he has a lot of issues. Who cares he is with someone else....she will find out soon enough how he really is. IMO, you did the right thing by suggesting professional help.....nothing wrong with that. He is a fool for not recognizing you were trying to help. His loss. I would stay NO CONTACT, don't give him another thought (I know this might be hard, but think of all the crap he put you through.....you dodged a bullet....and you will be fine. Good luck~
sharkbite0 Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 First let me say, what you are going through won't last. It will pass. It will pass. IT WILL PASS!! You can't control what he has done, what he is doing, or what he will do in the future. He is his own person, just like you are your own person. Anyone crying for months on end sounds like they may have some unsettled issues. Which is okay, but you are not supposed to solve their problems. Often, I believe relationships are more for support rather than answering all the questions. I agree that he is probably not for you if he didn't appreciate the help you were trying to offer. You had the best intentions and did it out of caring for him. Give yourself some credit. Hold your head up and leave this experience in your past. Go find someone that wants to see you achieve your goals, just like you do for them. I also want to let you know that my gf and I just broke up 7 month relationship as well. We traveled a lot in those months. It ended in a weird way and I'm still not sure about the reasons. However, I believe it helps to know that I gave it an honest effort and many chances for it to improve. At some point it has to take both people to fight for it. I believe in our cases....we showed we cared, we gave that option for them to work things out, see things through, but in the end it didn't workout for either of us. It's sad and I'm devastated but I am trying to trust the deep down gut feeling. Rather than the hurt and pain in my heart. Your body heals all wounds....both outside and inside ....if you let it. Good luck, feel free to continue posting. It felt good for me to vent there too. If I can be honest haha.
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