chinadiary Posted October 28, 2017 Posted October 28, 2017 So I see from my last login date, that the last time I was here was Dec. 2015. Fast forward almost 2 years and yet again, I'm heartbroken over the same f***ing man. I won't rehash all the who did whats, although obviously, I think he done me wrong. I just CAN'T believe that at 50, I am yet again 1) devastated by a relationship 2) devastated by a guy, 17 years older than me (and I'm far from being a spring chicken) and 3) have a genuinely (I think) nice guy interested without a FLICKER of interest from me in return. Do we EVER get to an age where we are past this s**t??? I'm so tired of myself and the way I have allowed most of my personal life to be messed up by relationships.
Buriall Posted October 28, 2017 Posted October 28, 2017 (edited) Ehh what are you gonna do? You can't have sweet without the sour.. Such is life, I'm only 28 I can only imagine what else is there to come.. It's always the same story.. The person you're interested in isn't interested in you.. Someone you aren't interested in is interested in you.. Edited October 28, 2017 by Buriall
Author chinadiary Posted October 28, 2017 Author Posted October 28, 2017 Relationship trauma is so tiring. I'm successful professionally. I just wish I could manage to achieve what others take for granted, a mutually supportive relationship. A big part of me thinks relationships are just not worth the distress and pain. I think I need to learn how to be single.
Buriall Posted October 28, 2017 Posted October 28, 2017 We are all seeking a mutually supportive relationship however people change feelings change, circumstances change etc.. How can you stay the same around all these changes? I'm starting to believe I ll be better off by myself because I know I will not let myself down, I can always count on myself. 1
Author chinadiary Posted October 29, 2017 Author Posted October 29, 2017 I'm starting to believe I ll be better off by myself because I know I will not let myself down, I can always count on myself. I'd love to be able to agree, but unfortunately, I repeatedly manage to let myself down by making bad relationship choices. I think I'm worth more than this pain, yet I keep putting myself through it.
coolheadal Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 So I see from my last login date, that the last time I was here was Dec. 2015. Fast forward almost 2 years and yet again, I'm heartbroken over the same f***ing man. I won't rehash all the who did whats, although obviously, I think he done me wrong. I just CAN'T believe that at 50, I am yet again 1) devastated by a relationship 2) devastated by a guy, 17 years older than me (and I'm far from being a spring chicken) and 3) have a genuinely (I think) nice guy interested without a FLICKER of interest from me in return. Do we EVER get to an age where we are past this s**t??? I'm so tired of myself and the way I have allowed most of my personal life to be messed up by relationships. Stop thinking this way he wasn't your nature calling man. It happens. Better find out now then before you get older. I am sorry for what has happen to you. On the brighter side you find another man who will treat you like you need to be treated. Never settle for less than you are worth, no amounts you one who you are in and out. Positive always think way it bring out the best in you. Go with confidence, again age doesn't matter today what matters is pure love. When men don't love you again you push out of your life. That's what you need to do now which you will need to heal first before you could ever jump into the arms of a good brawny man you loves you so much. 1
Author chinadiary Posted October 29, 2017 Author Posted October 29, 2017 jump into the arms of a good brawny man. Send him my way and I'll jump! Can't turn down a brawny guy.
toomanyquestions123 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I am 27 and i already relate to this. I mean i only had toxic relationships in my 20s & the healthy ones i couldn't tolerate them & cut them off immediately. I started therapy to know how to attract healthy guys since my relationships consecutively were: A cheater who does drugs, a person i stayed with for 2 years but was not in love with, a sociopath & finally an OCPDer. I feel like i spent my twenties with ppl with mental illnesses instead of picking someone healthy. Thats why i want to learn how to be single so i can attract someone healthy. I thought my ex-fiancé is illness free haha yeah right
Author chinadiary Posted November 2, 2017 Author Posted November 2, 2017 I am so close to making contact. I miss him so much it is a physical ache. My chest hurts. I can't sleep. I was so sure I'd deleted all numbers but on my phone history today, I noticed his number had called me 8 days ago. I have a lot of missed calls and hadn't noticed. We split up because his adult daughter has driven us apart. Yes, his weakness too. He wouldn't stand up to her. But she was relentless. We were a good match despite our age difference. But the lack of commitment because of his daughters interference drove me away. And now I'm here. Missing him. Desperate to contact him. Knowing I shouldn't. I need my life back. But the urge, the pain are so strong.
Beachead Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 I am so close to making contact. I miss him so much it is a physical ache. My chest hurts. I can't sleep. I was so sure I'd deleted all numbers but on my phone history today, I noticed his number had called me 8 days ago. I have a lot of missed calls and hadn't noticed. We split up because his adult daughter has driven us apart. Yes, his weakness too. He wouldn't stand up to her. But she was relentless. We were a good match despite our age difference. But the lack of commitment because of his daughters interference drove me away. And now I'm here. Missing him. Desperate to contact him. Knowing I shouldn't. I need my life back. But the urge, the pain are so strong. If you contact him, do you believe things will change for the better?
Author chinadiary Posted November 3, 2017 Author Posted November 3, 2017 No. Which is why I'm trying not to. But the impulse is so strong.
Author chinadiary Posted November 3, 2017 Author Posted November 3, 2017 So in the end I did it. I got in touch. He was polite. He's totally moved on. After 11 years. In 2 months. God, I wish I could do that.
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