I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 (edited) I am afraid of destroying my relationship. Due to past experiences, I keep getting the feeling of being taken for granted or that my bf doesn't care about me/miss me as much as he says he does. In the past guys have shouted their love/care for me from the rooftops, just to turn around and barely show me any attention. In all these instances the guys were the ones to show interest and pursue me for a relationship or dating. My bf has been really good so far and very patient. I dated a super clingy guy who drove me up the wall and I don't want my bf to feel the way I did. How do you tell the difference between no interest and insecurity? My guy went to convention in another city and hasn't been texting me that much, I've been occupying my time, but I'm getting a bit worried. I haven't texted him since a couple hours ago cause I know he is prob busy. He has also been working long hours and can sometimes go 7 or more hours w/out texting me. I have done that as well (yes I know I shouldn't do it) and he gets extremely worried. Edited November 2, 2017 by I'veseenbetterlol
RecentChange Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 I would start feeling insecure if I hadn't heard form him in a couple of days, not a few hours. He is busy and working if at a convention. If you do not hear from him before bed I see nothing wrong with sending him a quick "how was your day?' 3
BaileyB Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 I would start feeling insecure if I hadn't heard form him in a couple of days, not a few hours. He is busy and working if at a convention. If you do not hear from him before bed I see nothing wrong with sending him a quick "how was your day?' This. And two things to know about guys... Actions speak louder than words. Some guys won't tell you often that the miss you, or love you, or compliment you... but it doesn't mean that they don't love you. They may show their feelings in other ways - by doing things for you, showing kindness and consideration, or just being honest and consistent (ie. Doing what they promise to do). Beware the guys that are all talk and no action - the guys who profess their love but treat you badly and are unreliable. Much better to have a guy who is kind, honest, reliable, and loving than one who gives flowery compliments and text every hour to tell you how much he misses you but is unreliable and treats you badly. And, some guys don't seem to like texting. My guy says it's a waste of time and very non-productive. He has been busy today and I haven't heard from him... but that's ok. I know he's busy and I know that we always make time for a few "good night texts" because he knows how much I like them. So, send him a text tonight to see how his day was and say goodnight. Don't worry... It will be fine. 1
todreaminblue Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 i third the two above posts....a couple of hours is nothing.....days would concern most people.....even then things happen so its not good really too assume anything especially a worst case scenario....try and stay positive during all communication a lot or a little............a quick how was your day message isnt too intrusive or too clingy....deb
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 3, 2017 Author Posted November 3, 2017 This. And two things to know about guys... Actions speak louder than words. Some guys won't tell you often that the miss you, or love you, or compliment you... but it doesn't mean that they don't love you. They may show their feelings in other ways - by doing things for you, showing kindness and consideration, or just being honest and consistent (ie. Doing what they promise to do). Beware the guys that are all talk and no action - the guys who profess their love but treat you badly and are unreliable. Much better to have a guy who is kind, honest, reliable, and loving than one who gives flowery compliments and text every hour to tell you how much he misses you but is unreliable and treats you badly. And, some guys don't seem to like texting. My guy says it's a waste of time and very non-productive. He has been busy today and I haven't heard from him... but that's ok. I know he's busy and I know that we always make time for a few "good night texts" because he knows how much I like them. So, send him a text tonight to see how his day was and say goodnight. Don't worry... It will be fine. He did text me today and I'm not texting a lot cause I know he is busy. I used to give benefit of the doubt to guys who said they weren't good texters, esp one that I dated long distance. Come to find out, he wasn't a good texter when it came to me, but otherwise he was always sending messages to friends.
BaileyB Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 He did text me today and I'm not texting a lot cause I know he is busy. I used to give benefit of the doubt to guys who said they weren't good texters' date=' esp one that I dated long distance. Come to find out, he wasn't a good texter when it came to me, but otherwise he was always sending messages to friends.[/quote'] Well, unfortunately that tells you something about that guy... he was not the one! It takes time to learn these things about people, because early on everyone is on their best behavior. This is what dating is all about. It's considerate not to bother him during the conference. But otherwise, if it's important to you to touch base by texting more often during the day, you certainly have the right to ask for that. And then, see how he responds. Good luck!
basil67 Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 No no no! It's perfectly acceptable to not text while you're busy at work. Dont let anyone make you feel bad about focusing on work while you're really busy. And use the memory of what it's like to be busy to sustain you when he's not available.
Gaeta Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 You are not insecure, you are dating the wrong man.
smackie9 Posted November 5, 2017 Posted November 5, 2017 Why not have a discussion about what would be an acceptable amount or frequency for texting instead of doing this mexican stand off?
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