Oliviasmith24 Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 I've been dating my boyfriend for nine months now. It seems like lately I've been getting angry at him more often than I ever used to even before we started dating. When we fight and he doesn't apologize, I break up with him or I insinuate that I'm about to. Part of me feels like I do it to protect myself from getting hurt or broken up with myself. I do want to be with him and he does make me happy but when we fight it's like I just want to flee. Can anyone help? (I'm 21 he's 23).
BaileyB Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 Well, this is not going to sound good and I'm sorry about that... but you do that because you both lack the communication and conflict resolution skills to have a mature and healthy relationship. Healthy relationships don't have a lot of conflict. And, when there is a difference or a disagreement, both partners are able to communicate their feelings and resolve the conflict without resorting to immature tactics like threatening to leave or break up. I would suggest that your really spend some time thinking about how you have handled these situations and what YOU can do differently next time. You can't change your partner, but you can certainly change how you respond to him in these situations. Google search "fair fighting" or "conflict resolution" tips for relationships and see what you can learn. I would also suggest, respectfully, that you think about whether is is going to be a healthy long term relationship for you... 6
RecentChange Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 Yep - shows a lack of conflict resolution skills. Sounds like you two can't express yourselves effectively and do not compromise. So instead you pull the kill switch. I think if you were really into him you wouldn't threaten to break up at the drop of a hat.
KBob Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 I've been dating my boyfriend for nine months now. It seems like lately I've been getting angry at him more often than I ever used to even before we started dating. When we fight and he doesn't apologize, I break up with him or I insinuate that I'm about to. Part of me feels like I do it to protect myself from getting hurt or broken up with myself. I do want to be with him and he does make me happy but when we fight it's like I just want to flee. Can anyone help? (I'm 21 he's 23). Because you're immature. Considering your age, that's normal. Use thus ax an opportunity to be self aware and grow up a little. Talking out your problems is far more affective, which sounds like something he needs to work on as well. 1
stillafool Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 Don't worry, one day you will break up with him and he won't come back. Then you will learn. 1
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