redheaded-squirrel Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 It's a sticky situation & I don't want to hurt anyone, need advice...here are the facts: I have always dated much older men (35+). I crave their wisdom, their self-confidence, stability, even their physical looks, because at that age, they really look like men. I was never attracted (mentally/physically) to my peers & even went to therapy to get rid of this attraction, because for some reason, these relationships were never very stable (but always very enriching, emotionally, mentally and physically). I was told there's nothing to treat, it's just the way I am...I am sexually submissive, so that ties into #1. I simply cannot bring myself to kneel in front of my peer, because I do not have enough esteem for them. Esteem for me ties to the characteristics in #1 and in many ways, young guys seem more "lost" than myself.But indeed a 21-year old guy has recently expressed a clear interest in dating me. 2 years younger than myself! I mean, he is relatively mature, but still has no relationship experience or sexual experience at all. I, on the other hand, carry some baggage from previous relationships & know exactly what I want emotionally and sexually & I am not looking forward to teaching someone from scratch (being a submissive, that doesn't interest me and feels weird to be in sucha "dominant" position). Neither am I very much attracted to him (I've been more strongly attracted to all older men I've dated). I am on the fence about this. The guy wants to date me. I'd give it a shot, on the one hand, to see if a relationship with my peer would be better. If you never try, you never know...On the other hand, I feel that he cannot satisfy my needs in a way that an older man can & I am setting up the relationship for failure. I don't want to toy with his heart - he seems genuinely into me, whereas I have so, so many doubts. Any advice?
miggyme1 Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 It's a sticky situation & I don't want to hurt anyone, need advice...here are the facts: I have always dated much older men (35+). I crave their wisdom, their self-confidence, stability, even their physical looks, because at that age, they really look like men. I was never attracted (mentally/physically) to my peers & even went to therapy to get rid of this attraction, because for some reason, these relationships were never very stable (but always very enriching, emotionally, mentally and physically). I was told there's nothing to treat, it's just the way I am...I am sexually submissive, so that ties into #1. I simply cannot bring myself to kneel in front of my peer, because I do not have enough esteem for them. Esteem for me ties to the characteristics in #1 and in many ways, young guys seem more "lost" than myself.But indeed a 21-year old guy has recently expressed a clear interest in dating me. 2 years younger than myself! I mean, he is relatively mature, but still has no relationship experience or sexual experience at all. I, on the other hand, carry some baggage from previous relationships & know exactly what I want emotionally and sexually & I am not looking forward to teaching someone from scratch (being a submissive, that doesn't interest me and feels weird to be in sucha "dominant" position). Neither am I very much attracted to him (I've been more strongly attracted to all older men I've dated). I am on the fence about this. The guy wants to date me. I'd give it a shot, on the one hand, to see if a relationship with my peer would be better. If you never try, you never know...On the other hand, I feel that he cannot satisfy my needs in a way that an older man can & I am setting up the relationship for failure. I don't want to toy with his heart - he seems genuinely into me, whereas I have so, so many doubts. Any advice? You are unsure about dating a guy 2 years younger than you? Im sorry but think about that for minute and realize how dumb that sounds. 2 years younger than you. I came into this thread expecting you to be at least 10 years older than the guy. smh. Give the guy a chance or just tell him you arent interested but please dont make yourself look silly by telling him u cant date him because he is too young because he will look at you like a clown. 5
Erik30 Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 I'm assuming you're at least attracted to him, or else you probably wouldn't have created this thread... so just give it a shot and go on a date with the guy, he might surprise you. If it doesn't work out, no harm done. It's just a date, you don't have to worry about a possible future relationship (yet) 1
normal person Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 I am on the fence about this. The guy wants to date me. It almost sounds like you're willing to date him solely because he wants to date you, which doesn't make sense to me. I'd give it a shot, on the one hand, to see if a relationship with my peer would be better. If you never try, you never know... One individual doesn't represent everyone his age though. He only represents himself. Anything you like or don't like about it probably is just as much a function of him as an individual as it his age. I won't lie and say his age and relative inexperience will probably play a role, but it's not the whole story. On the other hand, I feel that he cannot satisfy my needs in a way that an older man can & I am setting up the relationship for failure. I don't want to toy with his heart - he seems genuinely into me, whereas I have so, so many doubts. Any advice? If you feel he can't satisfy you, it's set up for failure, and you don't want to toy with his heart, why are you even entertaining the idea? Usually the prerequisite for dating someone is that you like them. You don't have an obligation to date someone just because they like you.
edgygirl Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 2 years? Sorry... that's no "younger guy". I dated a guy 15 years younger. Now that's a younger guy. 1
Miss Spider Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 it sounds like youre only considering dating him because he likes you
coolheadal Posted November 3, 2017 Posted November 3, 2017 It's a sticky situation & I don't want to hurt anyone, need advice...here are the facts: I have always dated much older men (35+). I crave their wisdom, their self-confidence, stability, even their physical looks, because at that age, they really look like men. I was never attracted (mentally/physically) to my peers & even went to therapy to get rid of this attraction, because for some reason, these relationships were never very stable (but always very enriching, emotionally, mentally and physically). I was told there's nothing to treat, it's just the way I am...I am sexually submissive, so that ties into #1. I simply cannot bring myself to kneel in front of my peer, because I do not have enough esteem for them. Esteem for me ties to the characteristics in #1 and in many ways, young guys seem more "lost" than myself.But indeed a 21-year old guy has recently expressed a clear interest in dating me. 2 years younger than myself! I mean, he is relatively mature, but still has no relationship experience or sexual experience at all. I, on the other hand, carry some baggage from previous relationships & know exactly what I want emotionally and sexually & I am not looking forward to teaching someone from scratch (being a submissive, that doesn't interest me and feels weird to be in sucha "dominant" position). Neither am I very much attracted to him (I've been more strongly attracted to all older men I've dated). I am on the fence about this. The guy wants to date me. I'd give it a shot, on the one hand, to see if a relationship with my peer would be better. If you never try, you never know...On the other hand, I feel that he cannot satisfy my needs in a way that an older man can & I am setting up the relationship for failure. I don't want to toy with his heart - he seems genuinely into me, whereas I have so, so many doubts. Any advice? I say go date the younger guy and see how it goes. See what his intent is really. Is leaning more for casual sex or is leaning towards a bf/gf relationship. But my dear you are the only one that can decide what you want from a many. You want smarts you want that gut feeling. Those men that carry baggage from prior relationship are still hurting inside and need to heal themselves from the daily torment from the prior ex-gf. Those type of men wouldn't be a good lover for you. Their mind would be else where when they're around you.
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