"What’s your weekend like”

[edgygirl]

What does it mean when a man asks you that?

 

I met someone I liked online a few days ago and he just asked me that.

 

Does it mean he wants to ask me out and that's fine?

Does it mean he's cryptically BSing me?

Does it mean he's a lazy kind of guy who can't treat me like a lady?

 

Not sure how to respond. I think by age 50 a professional man should know how to express himself non-cryptically, but maybe I am over reacting or not understanding a common English expression that I should not be offended by?

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[chinadiary]

I think he's just making conversation.

[Shining One]

What does it mean when a man asks you that?

When a woman asks me that question, I assume she's asking me what I typically do on the weekends.

Does it mean he's cryptically BSing me?

Does it mean he's a lazy kind of guy who can't treat me like a lady?

I have no idea how you could possibly be drawing these conclusions from that question.

[edgygirl]

You're right chinadiary. Could be. Hmm I find it a little weird when you're meeting someone to say that kind of thing...

[edgygirl]

Shining_One, it happens when a friend who's bitter about dating puts things in your head That's why I came here to get other opinions

[RecentChange]

If I ask someone "what does your weekend look like?" I am most likely checking to see if they are busy - or could make time for a date.

 

What's wrong with telling him what you have planned for the weekend, and ending it with "why do you ask"?

 

Just COMMUNICATE. We don't know why he asked. We aren't him nor part of the conversation. If you don't feel comfortable communicating with him - just next it then.

 

Personally that question would not cause me to jump to conclusions that it would mean he is lazy and can't treat you like a lady - why did you jump there?

 

Maybe he is being courteous of your time, and trying to gauge your availability before asking you out.

[dumbass2]

If he asked it like you stated, then he wants to know what kind of plans you already have for "this" weekend so he can see if there might be an opening to ask you out, maybe. Instead of just asking first for a particular day, he may be asking like this because if you say you have no plans then he'll take that as a green light to ask you out because he's now pretty sure you'll say yes and not have an excuse because you are busy. If he had said "What are your weekends like" he would probably just be wanting to know if you work or have other regular plans on the weekends. Again, gauging for a possible opening to ask you out.

 

By the way, I'm over 50 and it's not that odd to ask that question. If you're interested in going on a date then just answer his question. You don't have to go into too much detail, but enough in case he is looking for an opening to ask you out this weekend.

[alphamale]

he wants to know what your plans for the wknd are

[edgygirl]

You're absolutely right RecentChange. As I said above I didn't quite get it, and asked a friend who is bitter about dating. She put ideas in my head saying she wouldn't even respond, that this is BS, that she's sick of cryptic guys, etc.

 

As I am also sick of dating and in disbelief, I kind of thought she might be right. But I am obv over reacting and should not listen to friends who are bitter in the future. I'll come here instead

[edgygirl]

 

he wants to know what your plans for the wknd are

 

Hey alphamale, side question - can alpha males like alpha females? It seems I always attract the betas, ugh!

[edgygirl]

Thanks dumbass2. You and everyone else were right. I answered and he (kinda) asked me out for Saturday now. He's still a little ambiguous, may not be a good communicator, but I won't rule him out for that - he seems interesting and good potential overall.

 

And... you're certainly NOT a dumbass!

[miggyme1]

What does it mean when a man asks you that?

 

I met someone I liked online a few days ago and he just asked me that.

 

Does it mean he wants to ask me out and that's fine?

Does it mean he's cryptically BSing me?

Does it mean he's a lazy kind of guy who can't treat me like a lady?

 

Not sure how to respond. I think by age 50 a professional man should know how to express himself non-cryptically, but maybe I am over reacting or not understanding a common English expression that I should not be offended by?

Save

 

Why do girls play games like this?? look if YOU find the guy attractive...why not ask him out? its not gonna kill you. closed mouths dont get fed. If u dont ask him please believe the next girl will

[dumbass2]

Thanks dumbass2. You and everyone else were right. I answered and he (kinda) asked me out for Saturday now. He's still a little ambiguous, may not be a good communicator, but I won't rule him out for that - he seems interesting and good potential overall.

 

And... you're certainly NOT a dumbass!

 

Not so much now, but when I first came on here I sure was! lol

 

Can I ask you how he kinda asked you out for Saturday?

[RecentChange]

My advice?

 

If you aren't sure about what someone had said, ASK THAT PERSON. Your friend isn't them, they don't know.

 

Personally I have never involved my friends in my dating. It's between me and him, not them and him. I can make my own decisions for myself and do not need my friends advice on such trivial matters.

 

Again, just communicate - be direct. Life is so much easier without all this guess work.

[Miss Spider]

I think its asking what you do on weekends. I don't like intrusive questions like that...like what you did today. what are you doing now. what are you doing this weekend. none of your business, random guy from the internet.

[RecentChange]

I think its asking what you do on weekends. I don't like intrusive questions like that...like what you did today. what are you doing now. what are you doing this weekend. none of your business, random guy from the internet.

 

What is appropriate for a "random guy from the internet" to ask?

 

Those are pretty standard getting to know you questions. Assuming that these "random guys from the internet" are men you choose to interact with from OLD - I don't think that sort of question should cause offense.

 

How is it intrusive? What would be a non intrusive question?

 

I don't mind telling anyone what my day or weekend is like.

 

Today I woke up early, worked work worked like usual. Went on a little run, now I am on the train heading home, and I may stop by the local watering hole and meet up with some friends who are watching the warrior's game.

 

That's an opener for a conversation! What I do for work, we can talk about what he does for work. What he usually does when he hangs out with friends. What our schedules are usually like (are they compatible?)

 

On the weekends I enjoy sleeping in (does he? Or is he an early bird?), Some coffee then off to ride my horse (again tells more about me, I am outdoorsy and an animal lover). Nights I like to go out on the town, get some small plates and cocktails, or maybe a friend will be having people over (tells him about how I like to socialize).

 

Simple things I would want to share about myself, and the same sort of questions I would ask someone I was interested in dating - because I am interested in them and want to know what their life is like.

[edgygirl]

I know American men enough to understand women taking initiative turns them off, not matter what you say. Sorry! Learned my lessons. Must be something to do with caveman biology that's still there. They have to hunt.

 

Not my preference, but it is what it is.

 

Why do girls play games like this?? look if YOU find the guy attractive...why not ask him out? its not gonna kill you. closed mouths dont get fed. If u dont ask him please believe the next girl will

[edgygirl]

Haha totally get it glad you're over whatever happened!

 

I said I was meeting a friend and maybe museum during the day, and asked him what about him. He said maybe going to a game with friends but "maybe we'll grab drinks Sat night"? I asked him if he was having drinks with friends or asking me out. He said he was asking me out possibly if we both were free. I said ok let's keep in touch and see if it works out... Yeah, not good communicator... But we passed to texting now, so let's see where it goes.

 

Not so much now, but when I first came on here I sure was! lol

 

Can I ask you how he kinda asked you out for Saturday?

Save

[edgygirl]

You know what? You are totally right. Friends also give opinions based on what THEY feel, so it's usually biased anyway. Yes being direct is the way to go. I just did it with him as he tends to be ambiguous / open ended.

 

My advice?

 

If you aren't sure about what someone had said, ASK THAT PERSON. Your friend isn't them, they don't know.

 

Personally I have never involved my friends in my dating. It's between me and him, not them and him. I can make my own decisions for myself and do not need my friends advice on such trivial matters.

 

Again, just communicate - be direct. Life is so much easier without all this guess work.

[edgygirl]

I dunno I tend to agree with Cookies. It does annoy me. I even put in my profile that it's a pet peeve of mine when people send me a first message asking 'how my day/night/weekend is going'. They don't know me, why should it matter? I prefer people who ask about abstract things such as ideas, goals, hopes, dreams or something about me that's in my profile.

 

Must be because I am ENFP in Myers Briggs, we like people who talk about existential things and are brainiac/deep

 

What is appropriate for a "random guy from the internet" to ask?

 

Those are pretty standard getting to know you questions. Assuming that these "random guys from the internet" are men you choose to interact with from OLD - I don't think that sort of question should cause offense.

 

How is it intrusive? What would be a non intrusive question?

 

I don't mind telling anyone what my day or weekend is like.

 

Today I woke up early, worked work worked like usual. Went on a little run, now I am on the train heading home, and I may stop by the local watering hole and meet up with some friends who are watching the warrior's game.

 

That's an opener for a conversation! What I do for work, we can talk about what he does for work. What he usually does when he hangs out with friends. What our schedules are usually like (are they compatible?)

 

On the weekends I enjoy sleeping in (does he? Or is he an early bird?), Some coffee then off to ride my horse (again tells more about me, I am outdoorsy and an animal lover). Nights I like to go out on the town, get some small plates and cocktails, or maybe a friend will be having people over (tells him about how I like to socialize).

 

Simple things I would want to share about myself, and the same sort of questions I would ask someone I was interested in dating - because I am interested in them and want to know what their life is like.

[edgygirl]

EXACTLY. That's the whole point of this thread. He's too vague. Men who are vague like this turn women off.

 

I am not giving up yet but let's see how he is in real life.

 

After referring to his get together with his friends he then referenced "maybe we'll grab drinks Sat night?"

 

He needs to learn how to ask a gal out!

 

 

That would be a total turn off... especially if I had to ask IF he was asking me out!

 

Why can't a guy just say "I'd like to buy you dinner, does Friday work for you?"

[RecentChange]

it's a pet peeve of mine when people send me a first message asking 'how my day/night/weekend is going'. They don't know me, why should it matter? I prefer people who ask about abstract things such as ideas, goals, hopes, dreams or something about me that's in my profile.

 

Must be because I am ENFP in Myers Briggs, we like people who talk about existential things and are brainiac/deep

 

Perhaps that's it I am your polar opposite, ESTJ.

 

Discussing my hopes and dreams with someone I have never met would feel very intrusive to me - those are my private things for only my most inner circle.

 

Meanwhile I see "what is your weekend like" as a basic ice breaker is a way to get to know the basics about someone and what their life is like.

[Miss Spider]

What is appropriate for a "random guy from the internet" to ask?

 

Those are pretty standard getting to know you questions. Assuming that these "random guys from the internet" are men you choose to interact with from OLD - I don't think that sort of question should cause offense.

 

How is it intrusive? What would be a non intrusive question?

 

I don't mind telling anyone what my day or weekend is like.

 

Today I woke up early, worked work worked like usual. Went on a little run, now I am on the train heading home, and I may stop by the local watering hole and meet up with some friends who are watching the warrior's game.

 

That's an opener for a conversation! What I do for work, we can talk about what he does for work. What he usually does when he hangs out with friends. What our schedules are usually like (are they compatible?)

 

On the weekends I enjoy sleeping in (does he? Or is he an early bird?), Some coffee then off to ride my horse (again tells more about me, I am outdoorsy and an animal lover). Nights I like to go out on the town, get some small plates and cocktails, or maybe a friend will be having people over (tells him about how I like to socialize).

 

Simple things I would want to share about myself, and the same sort of questions I would ask someone I was interested in dating - because I am interested in them and want to know what their life is like.

I completely see what you're saying. I guess it's like edgy said, the small talk aspect of it

[joseb]

This thread is interesting. I'm an ENFP too, according to Myers Briggs and I hate hate the "How's your day" type questions.

 

This guy sounds like he's lacking in confidence. He keeps half asking so as to avoid rejection. Whether or not that's an issue for OP I dunno.

[edgygirl]

Bingo! Fascinating isn't it? Myers Briggs explains people so well, and lots of people bash it. I find it extremely important for love & relationships in general.

 

For me, if people don't discuss more profound matters and I don't get a sense of what they really are about, I get turned off. Sincerely, I won't even meet someone who doesn't get a little deeper before meeting.

 

Haha, we are opposites indeed! And it's great that people are different. The world would be boring otherwise! I appreciate T people matter of fact / logical ways!

 

Perhaps that's it I am your polar opposite, ESTJ.

 

Discussing my hopes and dreams with someone I have never met would feel very intrusive to me - those are my private things for only my most inner circle.

 

Meanwhile I see "what is your weekend like" as a basic ice breaker is a way to get to know the basics about someone and what their life is like.

Edited November 3, 2017 by edgygirl