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Paranoid or Valid Points?

LoveStinks8

By LoveStinks8
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LoveStinks8 Member

LoveStinks8

Posted
Posted

So I've certainly had a bad 3 years of experience with love. From my long term highschool relationship failing, to dating a coworker who mentally abused me, to falling in love with my best friend who didn't reciprocate my feelings, to getting the ever famous "d*ck pic" after a very classy first date, and now this.

 

I added a guy on Facebook who I sort of knew back in high school a few months back and we started to chat. Things went from hello to hearts over the next month or so and I started to have feelings, as did he apparently. He works away so we were in different parts of the country with him coming home every month or so for a visit. Well things were going great until one day my creeper of a best friend found him in a relationship with a girl on Facebook. I bluntly asked if he had a girlfriend and he promised that no he did not (it shows on her profile but he has his relationship status on fb hidden).

 

So I kept it in the back of my mind but said nothing because I really wasn't sure. So I see this girl liking his instagram posts and hey, I'm a nosey woman, so I looked at her profile. There was a picture of him with his arm around her and one of her kissing him on the cheek. I tried to brush it off because he was moving in 2 weeks and then would be over 8 hours of driving away from her and I figured maybe he knew it was going to end and just didn't want to tell me about it. So warily I kept on for a few weeks. Yes, I'm still looking at her instagram every couple days. Side note! This guy barely messages me on weekends and often says he was "busy" which I find upsetting.

 

So I suddenly see pictures of her with him on a mini vacation. I confront him about it, using her name and asking him to please explain because I was, as I admitted, pretty hurt. He swore that they had been seeing each other but it wasn't serious and they just wanted to enjoy his last week in the area but it'd be over the day he moved.

 

I bit my tongue and waited. Sure enough he moved and she was still posting quotes and pictures about missing him (which he was liking).

 

I haven't brought it up and we were officiallly supposes to spend some time together yesterday and/or today because he's home for a quick visit. He messaged me Sunday saying how excited he was and couldn't wait to see me. Then yesterday when I asked what the plans were he asked me what I wanted to do today and then never answered me again. He didn't read my messages from 12-10:30 last night and then I could see that he'd read the messages but hadn't replied. So I kept quiet until this morning when I saw him active on Facebook. He didn't message me so I sent him a message to see if we were still on for today and that was 11 hours ago and he still hasn't read it... But he watched my snapchat story, and he liked on of the pictures the other girl posted on Facebook. I am so confused.

 

First off, is this guy a douche that's going to hurt me or am I being overly sensitive because I've been hurt?

 

Secondly I can't tell if he's intentionally ignoring me and just decided he isn't interested for some reason or if something likely happened and there's a genuine reason for this?

 

I've had too many suspicious/bad things in relationships to feel like I have a solid insight on this :( :(

snowbird7 Member

snowbird7

Posted
Posted

And OP, I'm sorry, but nothing could be more obvious. :(

act00 Established Member

act00

Posted
Posted

You're missing the forest for the trees. His only interest in you is casual/sex at best, and he might just like the penpal attention with no plans to physically get together with you at all, even for a romp. He lied to you about his relationship, downplayed it after he got caught, and has proceeded to ignore you for hours if not days, including no contact when you had a date set up.

 

Run. This guy is playing you.

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted

Yep, he is playing you and he has a girlfriend.

 

I would delete him from all social media, and next time, let the red flags speak for themselves.

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chinadiary Established Member

chinadiary

Posted
Posted
Yep, he is playing you and he has a girlfriend.

 

I would delete him from all social media, and next time, let the red flags speak for themselves.

 

 

 

Yes. Do it now. You can get a little pride back from knowing he'll go to message you and find he's blocked and realize you've found him out.

scatteredmusician Member

scatteredmusician

Posted
Posted

I agree with all the above posters. I would add that I hope you can grow in valuing yourself, not just because you get nice feedback from others or liked on fb, but because you know you are worthwhile. There is someone out there who would treasure you. What you are getting right now is not that! Someone will find you fascinating and will want to spend time with you, you just haven’t found him yet. Don’t settle for less, keep looking. There are truly nice and genuine people out there. Best wishes.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

I agree you deserve better than this.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted
First off, is this guy a douche that's going to hurt me or am I being overly sensitive because I've been hurt?

 

He's a douche who is hurting you because you're allowing him to hurt you. The first flag that went up should have been it for him.

 

Secondly I can't tell if he's intentionally ignoring me and just decided he isn't interested for some reason or if something likely happened and there's a genuine reason for this?

 

He's ignoring you. On purpose. There is no reason other than that.

 

I'd take screen shots of his girlfriend's pictures, send them to him and then tell him to kiss your magnificent behind, block him and move on with life. He's a liar and you don't need liars in your life.

 

Also, you should send her any correspondences you've had with him because he needs a good singe.

healing light Established Member

healing light

Posted
Posted

This guy has a girlfriend. He needed to be cut off the second you saw that on social media and realized she was still posting material of them together.

  • Like 1
miggyme1 Member

miggyme1

Posted
Posted (edited)
So I've certainly had a bad 3 years of experience with love. From my long term highschool relationship failing, to dating a coworker who mentally abused me, to falling in love with my best friend who didn't reciprocate my feelings, to getting the ever famous "d*ck pic" after a very classy first date, and now this.

 

I added a guy on Facebook who I sort of knew back in high school a few months back and we started to chat. Things went from hello to hearts over the next month or so and I started to have feelings, as did he apparently. He works away so we were in different parts of the country with him coming home every month or so for a visit. Well things were going great until one day my creeper of a best friend found him in a relationship with a girl on Facebook. I bluntly asked if he had a girlfriend and he promised that no he did not (it shows on her profile but he has his relationship status on fb hidden).

 

So I kept it in the back of my mind but said nothing because I really wasn't sure. So I see this girl liking his instagram posts and hey, I'm a nosey woman, so I looked at her profile. There was a picture of him with his arm around her and one of her kissing him on the cheek. I tried to brush it off because he was moving in 2 weeks and then would be over 8 hours of driving away from her and I figured maybe he knew it was going to end and just didn't want to tell me about it. So warily I kept on for a few weeks. Yes, I'm still looking at her instagram every couple days. Side note! This guy barely messages me on weekends and often says he was "busy" which I find upsetting.

 

So I suddenly see pictures of her with him on a mini vacation. I confront him about it, using her name and asking him to please explain because I was, as I admitted, pretty hurt. He swore that they had been seeing each other but it wasn't serious and they just wanted to enjoy his last week in the area but it'd be over the day he moved.

 

I bit my tongue and waited. Sure enough he moved and she was still posting quotes and pictures about missing him (which he was liking).

 

I haven't brought it up and we were officiallly supposes to spend some time together yesterday and/or today because he's home for a quick visit. He messaged me Sunday saying how excited he was and couldn't wait to see me. Then yesterday when I asked what the plans were he asked me what I wanted to do today and then never answered me again. He didn't read my messages from 12-10:30 last night and then I could see that he'd read the messages but hadn't replied. So I kept quiet until this morning when I saw him active on Facebook. He didn't message me so I sent him a message to see if we were still on for today and that was 11 hours ago and he still hasn't read it... But he watched my snapchat story, and he liked on of the pictures the other girl posted on Facebook. I am so confused.

 

First off, is this guy a douche that's going to hurt me or am I being overly sensitive because I've been hurt?

 

Secondly I can't tell if he's intentionally ignoring me and just decided he isn't interested for some reason or if something likely happened and there's a genuine reason for this?

 

I've had too many suspicious/bad things in relationships to feel like I have a solid insight on this :( :(

 

He is involved. LET HIM GO. How much proof do you need?

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Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language ~T
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