Zul Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 It's Zul again. Am feeling very, very sad today, as MM left for Mexico. This morning. You might remember me from "Should I tell MM's wife I am pregnant?" He actually left, just like I thought he would. With his wife and kids. I'm 3 1/2 months along, and he left, without giving me a dime. When I started crying my eyes out, he said, come with me then. With you and your wife and kids? Are you kidding me? Well, then I'll come back for you, he said. I'm going to divorce her, and leave them. I'll be back before the baby's born. Please help! He is driving me insane with this sh*t. I can't take it anymore. He's telling me he loves me and he can't wait until I can come to Mexico and we can have more babies together! But he left me. Alone and pregnant, without a cent to help me get all the things I need to prepare for the baby. I can't think anymore. I can't function. I cry and cry and cry. I have got to get my life in order, I need some help, somehow, some way. How do I move on, and focus on this baby? I'm stuck right now, in complete shock that this is actually happening. Give me some ideas, something to get me out of bed, and eating three meals a day. Please.
newbby Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 okay, the first thing is, forget him and what the ideal is with him. you need to ACCEPT that you are raising the baby alone. do not worry about what you feel through the pregnancy, pregnancy is confusing at the best of times, you are 3/1/2 months, the first four months are by far the most hormonal. you WILL begin to feel better. you need to start eating properly, the baby will probably be taking the nutrition frrom your body anyway, but your mood will dramatically improve if you are getting the nutrition that you need. if you cannot face eating alot then just eat plenty of fruit and veg raw if possible, those things are easier to stomach. now, do you have a good family and good friends? have you investigated benefits etc? how about child support? maintenance? you need to be very prepared.
PrincessMe Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Hun you need to take a deep breath . try to relax and focus on you and YOUR baby. There is plenty of time before that baby is going to be here to start filling for support. You need to work on you and your life, and your babys life. The hormones will level out soon and you will start to feel better, but you do need to eat and take care of your self for your sake and the baby's sake. The MM ......well just my opinion but i'd drop him and try to forget......just get that support order and find a man that will make you his top priority......................... don't know if this helps, but i hope so ...........
ww Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 I am sorry 4 u. It happened to me too. Only I decided to do another thing. It was destroying me for quiet a long time. But today I am glad I am not connected to that redneck in that way. Hugs I really feel sorry 4 u.
newbby Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 yes, meditation, and anything calming. dont keep going around and around in your mind if you can help it. it causes only more confusion, you wont get anything straight. just lie and breathe deeply and be calm as much as you can. dont speak to him, he will only stress you out.
Zul Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 My parents and friends are very supportive for the most part. The hardest thing is everyone telling me I just need to forget him. Not only is he the father of my child, but I loved him more than anything. To have him leave me is devastating. I'm trying so hard, but I feel like I've been in shock for a month. I have an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow morning, and I'm looking for a new job (we worked together for a year and a half and the place is filled with memories). I plan on taking a vacation to relax and refocus. I'm trying to get out and make plans with other people, and I'm reading a lot, and watching movies. I'd like to find a yoga class for pregnancy and get more active. I've already found a midwife, and have health insurance. However, I don't have a penny from him, and as far as I know, he's not planning on supporting us. I don't feel there is much I can do concerning that since he's in Mexico now. I also hope to finish school (I already have two years done). It's just hard. Thanks for all of your support, it really means a lot. Any more ideas are welcome...
newbby Posted August 19, 2005 Posted August 19, 2005 i am sorry for telling you, you need to forget him. its hard not to give you this advice because you are pregnant and cannot depend on him when preparing for having this baby. it is a different thing to the end of any other relationship because you need to be prepared for being a single mother. i know it must be an awful shock and very distressing when you are pregnant. yoga is a fantastic idea!
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