deli Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 My ex boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me over text in August. It's currently Halloween and I've been asking for my things back ever since he broke up with me. He has my softball sweatpants, one of my favorite sweatshirts, three shirts, my star wars DVD, my DADs video game, and a pretty expensive watch. I gave him the watch as a gift but he has never worn it so I've been asking for it back. We've seen each other 5-6 times since the breakup and hes failed to return my things each time. I have two things that belong to him, a sweatshirt and a t-shirt. It's not like I'm "withholding" his belongings, I've actually been asking when I can return his stuff as well. Each time I ask when I can get my belongings he says "I don't know" or "I'll let you know later". I'm tired of him keeping my things, I've been civil with him for so long and he refuses to let me have my things. As of late, whenever I ask he either flat out ignores my messages, curses me out, or says something along the lines of "f*ck you I don't care about your stuff." He and I are on awful terms and I can't think of a reason why he would be keeping my things for so long. I've told him he can mail my stuff to me, he can leave it in a box outside his front door and I can pick it up, he can give my things to a friend and they can give it to me, I've given him so many options and now I think he is only doing this to purposely hurt me. He only lives about 5 minutes away from me so it wouldn't be a big deal to go over there. But I don't know what his schedule is like (anymore) and I don't want to go there and have him not be home. I've thought about showing up unannounced so I can get my stuff back but like I said, I'm not sure of his schedule. I've thought about putting his stuff in a box and leaving it outside his door but he lives in an apartment complex and I'm worried about someone taking it. I'm tired of asking him for my stuff back and I don't know what else to do. Some of my friends have told me I should contact the police but I don't want to make it into a big deal.
darkmoon Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 just go round there with a friend, moral support but as you have met with him 6 times since the split, it looks like there is another chapter (or 6) that tell me you are still attached (but badly, I see that) so the items of yours that he is keeping are a way of keeping the attachment going? or does he want to keep that watch, or even sell it?
Zahara Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 He has my softball sweatpants, one of my favorite sweatshirts, three shirts, my star wars DVD, my DADs video game, and a pretty expensive watch. I gave him the watch as a gift but he has never worn it so I've been asking for it back. I think you both have used "stuff" as a way to keep a door open to each other. Unless it's a valuable family heirloom, I'd suggest you let those things go and in the process let go of the drama that you both seem to keep alive. You gave him a watch as a gift, let that go -- regardless of whether he wears it, it is his to with as he pleases. As for his stuff, put it in a box and mail it to him.
Author deli Posted October 31, 2017 Author Posted October 31, 2017 Well after we broke up, we decided we would try to remain friends, and that worked up until 3 weeks ago. We were also friends with benefits. So up until 3 weeks ago, we were on good terms and we were able to hang out without any issues. Then 3 weeks ago one of his friends started to tell lies about me and he started to hate me. There isn't really anything I can do about that seeing as I'm in college and he is still in high school (1 year apart, freshman/senior) I've told him the things his friends are saying were false but he doesn't believe me and now he is just straight up ignoring my messages. I don't think he wants to have any sort of connection with me, especially since he has been acting so cruel towards me as of late. He has also told me he hated me. I don't see why he would want to keep something that belongs to someone he hates? I'm not his biggest fan either, but I want to return his things peacefully and leave things at that. As for the watch, it isn't really my biggest concern, especially since I gave it to him as a gift. If he wants to keep it, or even sell it, I don't care that much but I wouldn't mind having it back since he has never worn it.
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 Honestly, let it go. Consider it collateral damage. We've all been there. A few pieces of clothing, a couple of DVD's...are they really THAT important in the grand scheme of things? It's not like he has your cat. As for the watch, it was a gift. Whether or not he appreciated it or wore it is irrelevant. Asking for it back and expecting he would comply is just plain wrong. Time to let him and your things go and move on. 1
Zahara Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 Well after we broke up, we decided we would try to remain friends, and that worked up until 3 weeks ago. We were also friends with benefits. So up until 3 weeks ago, we were on good terms and we were able to hang out without any issues. Then 3 weeks ago one of his friends started to tell lies about me and he started to hate me. There isn't really anything I can do about that seeing as I'm in college and he is still in high school (1 year apart, freshman/senior) I've told him the things his friends are saying were false but he doesn't believe me and now he is just straight up ignoring my messages. I don't think he wants to have any sort of connection with me, especially since he has been acting so cruel towards me as of late. He has also told me he hated me. I don't see why he would want to keep something that belongs to someone he hates? I'm not his biggest fan either, but I want to return his things peacefully and leave things at that. As for the watch, it isn't really my biggest concern, especially since I gave it to him as a gift. If he wants to keep it, or even sell it, I don't care that much but I wouldn't mind having it back since he has never worn it. Put his things in a box and mail it back to him. For sanity's sake, let go of your few items of clothes and dvds/video game. In the grand scheme of things, it's just stuff.
Author deli Posted October 31, 2017 Author Posted October 31, 2017 Yeah I suppose they are just things. I'll let the watch go. I'm mainly upset because he has my dads video game and it was one of my dad's favorites. That's my main concern. (my dad isn't in a position to go with me to get the game, or anything else, back)
Zahara Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 Yeah I suppose they are just things. I'll let the watch go. I'm mainly upset because he has my dads video game and it was one of my dad's favorites. That's my main concern. (my dad isn't in a position to go with me to get the game, or anything else, back) This is what happens when you break up and don't cut ties. If these things were important to you, you should have collected them when you ended. Consider it a loss and learn from this. It's just a video game. I am sure you can find a way to get a replacement for your dad.
dumbass2 Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 I'll bet that if you go NC and stop asking, that you might get that stuff back down the road. Right now he knows you really want the stuff and he's upset with you so this is how he's getting back. Stop talking and ignore him.
HumanMachine Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 Had the same scenario with my ex, it was draining. Dropped her stuff outside her front door, knocked and walked off. Wrote off my clothes that she refused to return.
chinadiary Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 I had an ex that refused to return my stuff, including my passport. Eventually I had to get the police involved but he still just lied. Eventually I had to report the passport stolen and get a new one.
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