silver04 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I recently went through a breakup 2 weeks ago, following a 6.5 month relationship. For those into astrology, Im a Libra and he's a Capricorn. For the most part things have been good but the last month and a half were rough bc he hadnt made it official and that was weighing on me. I was frustrated bc it felt like there was no progress. I told im I loved him and Ive opened up and given alot of myself but it wasnt reciprocated. I could feel him holding back as he didnt show much emotions or shared much about his past. This caused friction and caused me to doubt myself and the relationship. I tried my best to be patient and understanding but he just moved extremely slow Mid October he ended things. He's ready to have kids within the next 2 years and he doesnt think Im ready for that. He said he wanted to remain friends and he did not love me. Things seemed pretty final and I was ready to move on since I wasnt happy towards the end. There was no communication for a week other than to arrange a meeting to bring me stuff I left at his place, grab something to eat and hang out. I had plans to bring to his attention several things he did that upset me, made me feel insecure and explain the way I was feeling towards the end. I did that at my place and he called me out on my inability to communicate this with him earlier and some of my faults. He ended up admitting he cared about me and missed me. What? I thought when a Cap ends a relationship, they are done with you and dont look back. This guy was now showing a completely new side with me. I shared something deep from my past and ended up crying and the big shocker is that he cried along with me. This guy has NEVER shown this side to me. He wiped the tears from my face, embraced me, told me I was beautiful and said he trusts me. He has had major trust issues bc of people that have disappointed him in his past which is why he's stayed guarded so for him to say that carried alot of weight. I felt that he didnt fully trust me so for him to say that in the moment felt very significant. Im glad we shared that moment bc we bonded and I felt closer to him than I had in the 7 months we've known each other. It was getting late and he had to drive home, but we shared a long hug and kissed several times. I told him I loved him while he held me. Before the night was done, he asked me out on Halloween, which I accepted. The following day he thanked me for opening up and trusting him. I apologized for not being able to better communicate with him and thanked him for being there for me. We've since been back to texting every day like we had been when we were dating. We contacted me today to confirm if we were still on for tomorrow and it was very playful Prior to all of this, he was very detached from his emotions, never really shared how he felt about me, I could feel he didnt really trust me and he initiated the end of the relationship. His actions do not compute with that. What does this mean bc I am very confused. Is he having second thoughts? Or were we both just caught up in an emotional moment? Im not going into our "date" with any expectations as to not set myself up for disappointment
PegNosePete Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 were we both just caught up in an emotional moment? Yes. Re-read your first paragraph with some perspective. Look at the facts. You guys dated for over 6 months and he refused to make it "official"??? What is up with that? Why not? The only reason to not make it official is if he's seeing others. So all along your "relationship" he was seeing others and if you ever queried him about this he had the perfect excuse "hey we aren't official I have every right". And then he ended things with some totally mixed-up excuse about kids. He wanted them, even though he didn't want to be in an official relationship with you, but he didn't think YOU are ready? This makes no sense whatsoever. He said he doesn't love you, even though you told him you do, even though you're not in an official relationship? What a mess. You should not allow yourself to be in a relationship like this. If he refuses to be official then you need to ask WHY not. The only reason is that he wants to carry on dating others. This guy is just stringing you along. If you're looking for a proper relationship then you need to look elsewhere.
Author silver04 Posted October 31, 2017 Author Posted October 31, 2017 (edited) Yes. Re-read your first paragraph with some perspective. Look at the facts. You guys dated for over 6 months and he refused to make it "official"??? What is up with that? Why not? The only reason to not make it official is if he's seeing others. So all along your "relationship" he was seeing others and if you ever queried him about this he had the perfect excuse "hey we aren't official I have every right". And then he ended things with some totally mixed-up excuse about kids. He wanted them, even though he didn't want to be in an official relationship with you, but he didn't think YOU are ready? This makes no sense whatsoever. He said he doesn't love you, even though you told him you do, even though you're not in an official relationship? What a mess. You should not allow yourself to be in a relationship like this. If he refuses to be official then you need to ask WHY not. The only reason is that he wants to carry on dating others. This guy is just stringing you along. If you're looking for a proper relationship then you need to look elsewhere. He's definitely not seeing anyone else. I have no doubts about that. We were exclusive and he's the one that brought that up 6 weeks in. When I say official, he wasnt claiming me or considered himself my bf. He never really opened up or expressed his feelings for me. He kept somewhat distant and was very cautious. It may be hard to get but knowing his history, I get it. Reading up on Capricorns, this is typical of them to take their time before taking it to the next level. I dont think the kid thing was a lame excuse bc its something he's mentioned since day one and he's been strung along in a past relationship where he was told to wait until he realized it was never going to happen. IA that it doesnt make sense that he wants me to 100% onboard to have a kid yet he cant give me a 100% commitment about our future. I dont know but it feels like things are different. We've been back to texting throughout the day for long stretches and its been playful. He asked me to do a race with him in Dec which shocked me bc one of the issues I brought up to him was that he rarely factored me into his future plans but now he's asking me to do something with him in Dec? Its like he paid attention and is trying to step up now I dont expect any answers tonight bc I cant stay out lon bc of work, but I will observe his words and behavior Edited October 31, 2017 by silver04
HumanMachine Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 He's definitely not seeing anyone else. I have no doubts about that. I wouldn’t sound so sure
Beachead Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 Tough to say at the moment OP. I would normally have advice but I say sit back on this and observe. Keep your guard up. Two pieces of advice: Be real with yourself. You hope for the best and have expectations. The second thing is evaluate him based on who he is with you and not what some general horoscope description of a capricorn describes him to be. The truth will reveal itself soon enough. Goodluck
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