Jobber22 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Weird situation where I have dated this girl but for whatever reason we drifted apart for a few months. Texting is sporadic we may text eachother a few times a week, I let her iniate. She is a co worker I see daily and recently about a week ago I asked her to the movies which is this Friday and she said yes. She has not mentioned or brought it up, should I check her interest and let her bring it up or should I reconfirm if we are still on. I kind of want to see if she brings it up or not as a sign of just letting this one go but not sure
normal person Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 If you invited her, it's your responsibility to handle the logistics, not hers. 3
Author Jobber22 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 If you invited her, it's your responsibility to handle the logistics, not hers. I get that but I’m wondering if I should gauge her interest by seeing is she brings it up or mentions it. Like I said it’s been a few months where we still are in contact atleast once a week and I’m unsure of just letting it go or trying to continue
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I get that but I’m wondering if I should gauge her interest by seeing is she brings it up or mentions it. Like I said it’s been a few months where we still are in contact atleast once a week and I’m unsure of just letting it go or trying to continue Peculiar. What is the extent of your communication? Anything of substance? You have nothing to lose by reminding her. If you are interested and your ego is not irrationally over-inflated...ask.
kendahke Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I get that but I’m wondering if I should gauge her interest by seeing is she brings it up or mentions it. No. You should demonstrate your interest by telling her what day and what time. You asked her and you dropped the ball. It's no wonder she's not trying to contact you. You're too busy playing games. 1
Author Jobber22 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 Peculiar. What is the extent of your communication? Anything of substance? You have nothing to lose by reminding her. If you are interested and your ego is not irrationally over-inflated...ask. Yes it is a very weird situation. We went on probably 6 dates, we have slept together but she use to text me every day and now it’s a few times a week. I catch her staring at me at work and she even brought me lunch to work today which she use to do frequently but when she iniates text we will have a few reply’s and then she just stops. I’m the first person she’s been with in around 5 years so I knew it would be uphill but now I’m at the point of are you onboard or not
Author Jobber22 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 No. You should demonstrate your interest by telling her what day and what time. You asked her and you dropped the ball. It's no wonder she's not trying to contact you. You're too busy playing games. I have played no games I told her a date I’m just saying she has not mentioned it since
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I have played no games I told her a date I’m just saying she has not mentioned it since Just ask. Could it be that she is seeing someone else? OR... could it be that she is trying to feel YOU out and see what YOUR interest is?
kendahke Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I have played no games I told her a date I’m just saying she has not mentioned it since Why should she? She's not the one who asked you out. This onus is on you, not her and every day you don't say anything is a day where she figures you were just talking to hear yourself talk and she's making other plans. And this is the game: I’m wondering if I should gauge her interest by seeing is she brings it up or mentions it. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Why should she? She's not the one who asked you out. This onus is on you, not her and every day you don't say anything is a day where she figures you were just talking to hear yourself talk and she's making other plans. And this is the game: jobber22, I agree with kendahke. This 'I'm going to wait for her/him to contact me next to see if she/he is interested' is a game people play unnecessarily.
Author Jobber22 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 jobber22, I agree with kendahke. This 'I'm going to wait for her/him to contact me next to see if she/he is interested' is a game people play unnecessarily. Ok ok I’m just gonna bring it up tomorrow and ask if she is still up to go friday
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Ok ok I’m just gonna bring it up tomorrow and ask if she is still up to go friday Good move. That way you know and the wondering can cease. If yes, yay! If no, then you move on tomorrow and not later...
kassy Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Just send her a message like hey, so I was looking at the movie times, does seeing "X" at "movie theatre" for the 7pm screening on Friday work for you? If she says yes then say ok great, how about I pick up up/meet you at "y"at "z" time? Just be a man and make things happen. I am guessing if you take more of a lead she will feel more secure in what's going on and also beore clear to you. If she doesn't like you, you will also work it out but it sounds like she does like you but hasn't been getting clear signals from you.
JEG88 Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 Be a man and take the damn initiative. It's painfully obvious that that's what she's letting you do by not responding as much. Have some confidence and be straightforward about confirming the details of your date. She has kept in communication with you for this long, so she's interested. Don't over-analyze.
Miss Spider Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 I get that but I’m wondering if I should gauge her interest by seeing is she brings it up or mentions it. Like I said it’s been a few months where we still are in contact atleast once a week and I’m unsure of just letting it go or trying to continue Absolutely not. Gauge her interest by seeing if she accepts your concrete plans.
Versacehottie Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 I have played no games I told her a date I’m just saying she has not mentioned it since As was said above, it's your responsibility to bring it back up. Here's a tip: any confident guy who asks a girl and wants to go and is not letting his ego or overthinking get in the way, would just proceed to finalize the details--that's exactly what you should do. Your reluctance to do that is what creates confusion and messiness. If you don't want to mess up with her again, just proceed. You have nothing to lose. Actually I'd find it more embarrassing if you didn't follow through. You want her to take you seriously as someone she'd want to date, then don't act wishy washy or wait for her reassurance in order to confirm details. Good luck 1
act00 Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 YOU made the date. You are the HOST. It is your responsibility to follow up on this. As an example, you don't invite people to a party and then sit back and wait for them to ask you about it. On the contrary, what you do is plan the party, the time, the place, and ask people to RSVP so you have a head count. You take the reigns. I understand you want her to express interest, and it seems she has. She brought you lunch the other day. Do you think that's her trying to get some attention and mention of the date out of you? You're the one who asked her out and now you have completely dropped the ball, and she doesn't know where your head is at. She doesn't know if you forgot, changed your mind, or made other plans. You see her at work all the time. Texting is not as largely required when you see each other in person a lot. Simply ask her if there's a particular movie she wants to see. You can ask her what time is best. You'd like to see X or Y and times are at X or Y. Are there any movies she's interested in. Go from there. She's not going to want to go out with a flake who bails on dates or tosses a line and waits for her to make all the plans. It's not going to work. Stop playing games. 1
kendahke Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 I have played no games I told her a date I’m just saying she has not mentioned it since No matter how much you protest to the contrary, it doesn't change that it's a game you're playing. And if this is as far as you've gone with it, then she's decided that you're not interested enough and she's not going to sweat this. Swing and a miss...
kendahke Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 You want her to take you seriously as someone she'd want to date, then don't act wishy washy or wait for her reassurance in order to confirm details. Exactly. Nothing is more off-putting than a guy who is too scared to follow through. That mess only works in forgettable movie scripts. In real life, no one has time for this milquetoast approach. It's not an attractive quality.
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