ZLearned Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 (edited) Me and my fiance of 2 years got into a pretty heated argument several days ago. I got home from work and she was gone she even took the rent money. We have an apartment together, and all of her stuff and her daughter's stuff is still here. I have the only key to the apartment because she lost hers. I had tried to contact her and to talk about what is going on but she pretty much turned around and ran away and wouldn't give me the time of day. She hasn't tried to contact me and I haven't tried go contact her since. Me and her have had our arguments mostly about dumb small things. But for the most part we were inseparable and got along very well. I love her daughter like my own. And she has never done this before. We have argued and she has left for a few hours to calm down but she's never left and not came back before. I guess i am scared that this could be the end of the relationship. I'd like to think she might come back and want to work things out but another part of me doesn't think she will. I miss her and her daughter terribly. I just don't know. I feel locked inside my own head, i feel lost and hopeless. She was my world.I don't have many friends so I don't really have an outlet to talk to about this. Nothing I'm doing is making me happy and I'm just finding myself wondering around and taking walks. I've also started drinking and I can't sleep or eat. Do you think she is going to come back to me or should I just count this as a loss? I don't know. Edited October 30, 2017 by ZLearned
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Since she left her stuff I imagine she would be coming back. How long has she been gone? You said something about several days. have you checked the child's school? Is the daughter attending? Are they safe? If you don't know if she's dead or alive I'd start calling family & friends, the police & local hospitals. If you know she's alive, are you sure you want to marry somebody with such poor conflict resolution skills?
Author ZLearned Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 (edited) She has been gone for 3 days today. I know she is alive because I spoke to her in person but she wanted no part in that. Her daughter has been with her father and she was going to get her back from him today. And yeah, I've asked myself that question from time to time. But like I said she has never done this before. I miss her like crazy, and with rent due and her not around it's making matters even more confusing for me, and the fact that she has not even tried to talk to me about getting her stuff or anything. It's eating me alive. Edited October 30, 2017 by ZLearned
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 First things first . . . get the rent paid. I'd have a hard time trusting somebody who disappeared with the rent money.
Author ZLearned Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 I can't get the rent paid if I don't have the money to do so. I'm not sure if I should contact the landlord and let her know what's going on or not.
Steve51 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I got engaged to my girlfriend of 4 years. We were inseparable too and lost our virginity to each other. We hardly had a fight, none that I can remember. Yet she cheated on me and I an not the forgiving type. We broke up and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. To make things work I was in Vietnam for a year because our plan was for her to join me if and when I got back from Vietnam and live in Army housing while she went to college and then I would afterwards. She cheated when I was in combat to make things worse. As I mentioned above, it was devastating at the time but the best thing that could ever happen. If not for that I would not have met my wife of 45 years. My ex called me up 38 years later to apologize. Said she was immature and had a terrible life. She got addicted to drugs and heard her spiritual guide talk to her, tell her the future of others and to do other things which she did. She decided to eschew capitalism and joined a commune and lived like a hipped until she got knocked up by of the many men who passed her around while keeping her stoned. She is mentally ill, got married and cheated on her husband with a woman she is now married too. She destroyed not only my life but the life of other men too. Losing her was the best thing in my life and someday you will look back on this and feel the same. Two days ago we celebrated our 45th anniversary. I had no friends since I just got out of the Army when I met my wife and my old friends were either away at college or moved away to find jobs. I was not even looking for a girlfriend when I saw my wife on a train, looked at her and she smiled at me. I usually meet girls by finding those who give me a single that they would welcome my company. We talked, I stalked her to find out where she lived (it was called love back then, not stalking) and 3 weeks later we were engaged. Went from being a lost sole to engaged in three weeks of not even trying. Your day will come. I was told by a very wise person who dealt with marriages and relationships to run the first time someone tells you that they no longer love you. Love is either there or not. Once gone it cannot be willed back into existence nor can you make her love you again. Some may come back for financial and security reasons but if they loved you they would not do what they did.
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I can't get the rent paid if I don't have the money to do so. I'm not sure if I should contact the landlord and let her know what's going on or not. You are going to have to get the rent paid. Talking to the landlord should buy you some time but won't excuse the payment.
Author ZLearned Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 You are going to have to get the rent paid. Talking to the landlord should buy you some time but won't excuse the payment. Yes I know this much. It just will take some time to come up with $1200..
Author ZLearned Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 Stupid to bring up Facebook, but she has blocked me from her Facebook. Weird thing is my mother said she still has her relationship status as engaged and she hasn't deleted any pictures of me and her. This just adds to the confusion. I've never felt so locked in my head in my entire life. This was only a 2 year relationship and it hurts about a million times more than an 8 year relationship i had previously.
NopeNah Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 (edited) I'd say first thing should be; stop with the drinking for now. Then focus on the rent. Then whatever. Drinking isn't going to make her comeback or pay your rent. It will only mask what you're mentally and now financially going thru for a short time and make everything else harder to deal with. Keep your wits about you in this tough time. Edited October 30, 2017 by Praying4Daylight
Author ZLearned Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 (edited) Yeah I know. I'm trying to lesson the drinking but it's literally the only thing that forces me to get a couple hours of sleep. Well that and my dog who is trying her very hardest to make me happy. I feel like a big ol' 30 year old pussy for this. Its embarrasing. Edited October 30, 2017 by ZLearned
basil67 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 So strange that she's just upped and gone like that. How bad was this fight? Did you say anything to insult her?
NopeNah Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 Yeah I know. I'm trying to lesson the drinking but it's literally the only thing that forces me to get a couple hours of sleep. Well that and my dog who is trying her very hardest to make me happy. I feel like a big ol' 30 year old pussy for this. Its embarrasing. I hear you,but maybe you need to be awake right now to deal with things/think it through with a rational mind? I know drinking after a 'loss'. Though it solves nothing,but numb you for a while or for you to make stupid choices when you're still 'raw' from it. "What would a text/call hurt..I should reach out to..blah,blah." I've been there and done it! Hell I carried on with a cheater because of booze numbing her actions/my feelings. I'd no sooner fight for my life in war, than drink over a woman anymore. Pointless.
Author ZLearned Posted October 31, 2017 Author Posted October 31, 2017 So strange that she's just upped and gone like that. How bad was this fight? Did you say anything to insult her? It was pretty bad. Things were said on both sides that should not have been said. Her ex just texted me as well saying that he can't get a hold of her to drop her daughter off. That makes me wonder if she is alright or not. Very strange how she wouldn't text him or call him back about her daughter.
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