JBird2001 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I've been working with an attractive lady for the last couple of years and although we spoke every so often, I wouldn’t say we were really friends. Over the last couple of months, however, we started spending more time together: mostly cycling, running and other athletic activities. We've talked and started learning things about each other, and besides being the same age (we're both a very active 50, divorced and childless), we have similar values and the same attitudes and opinions about things. The natural progression of this, in my view, is leading toward something on the next level, something new and greater. I really want to date her and bring our relationship to that romance level. Yesterday we spent the day together, first cycling then to an outdoor festival. We had such a great time together. We usually hug when we say goodbye, a strong, 10-second hug, and it feels so good. Haven’t had our first kiss yet. Yesterday when I walked her to her car she said the word "friend" and kind of deflected when I tried to kiss her (ended up on the cheek). I texted her later and told her I had a fun time with her today and she replied, “that was fun”. I don't place any value in texting and don’t want to read too much into it, but it seems she doesn't feel the same way about me. I guess what I want to know is just how to do I bring this up. I don't want to come across as needy or creepy or stalkerish, I just want to know how she feels about me, about us, about dating. I am hoping against all hope that won’t say she only wants to be friends, because if that does happen then I may have to end this “friendship” and move on. I can’t be friendzoned! Not by a beautiful and attractive woman who I care so much about. I've been in two back-to-back relationships over the past 13 years, so I’m not even sure how dating goes anymore, or if I'm saying the right thing, or not saying what I should be. My ex is poor communicator, which kind of makes me a poor communicator, although I am not trying to make excuses or place the blame on anyone else, but I am really trying to convey my feelings without it being "weird" for her, and worse, weird between us. I don't see how it would come to that. I mean, isn’t it natural to be attracted? Don’t two people just feel if it’s right? I guess I just want to know how to tell her. It's not as simple as "just tell her". It's been almost three months since we started “seeing” each other and I don’t know if that's too long, or not long enough? Thanks! I will appreciate your good constructive advice
kazen Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Next time you see her, just ask her "I have been wondering if you would like to go out on a proper date with me?" It's for you to make that leap.
rightondude Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I hate to say it but if she wanted you like you want her, you wouldn't have to ask if that was the case. I know, believe me I know, sometimes you just want something to be a certain way and want someone to feel a certain way so badly you don't want to accept it when it doesn't happen that way. And, if you move on, and she starts asking why, just state, "Oh, I didn't feel like you were interested." You'll get your answer then.
WaitingForBardot Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Next time you see her, just ask her "I have been wondering if you would like to go out on a proper date with me?" It's for you to make that leap. Agree with the thought, disagree with the method. Don't ask if she'd like to, tell her you'd like to take her on a date.
kazen Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Agree with the thought, disagree with the method. Don't ask if she'd like to, tell her you'd like to take her on a date. They are in their 50's, no need to play these "I'm in control" type of dating gymnastics. As you grow older, you want someone who is genuine. He should say it which ever way it's natural to him. 1
WaitingForBardot Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 They are in their 50's, no need to play these "I'm in control" type of dating gymnastics. As you grow older, you want someone who is genuine. He should say it which ever way it's natural to him. I'm not sure where telling someone you'd like to take them out has anything to do with control. It's just making it clear that you are interested in them. Similar in a way to asking someone on a date at a specific time and place as opposed to simply asking would you like to go out some time.
smackie9 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Sorry but....good lord you are a grown a$$ 50 year old man....just ask her "So how do you feel about us dating?" Simple.
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