ayeshau Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 A guy that I was seeing for the last month or so, was initially a bit of a jerk. Seemed kind of cold at times, I knew he was into me but just didn't strike me as much of a gentleman. He texted me after our first date and when I went out on our second date I was pretty turned off from his mannerisms, and I cut him off. He tried really hard for a second date, would message continuously and when I told him I didn't think he treated me well he said that he was a jerk as a stupid defense mechanism and that he liked me a lot and that he would stop being an ******* around me. And he did stop. Our third date he was such a gentleman he was so sweet. And afterwards, he was always texting, he's always intitiated every conversationm very affectionate, and always expresses his strong emotions towards me telling me why he likes me so much. I guess for our fourth "date" I invited him to a party and just the day before he says he doesn't feel like going out, and I mean thats fine so I said, okay well are you not coming at all then? Because we had plans for him to stay with me that night, (its about an hour bus ride for him) and he doesnt reply until the next day when I'm already out saying that he's tired. It kind of sucked and my friends thought this flaky behaviour was pretty ridiculous, which it was. I didn't reply to his message about tired and the next day I just sent him a text saying I think we should stop seeing each other. His reply was literally "okay." and then five minutes later "ciao" ... I'm not looking for anything but a place to cry my heart out it really sucks to see those two words, I'll be 100% honest yeah when I sent that text I wanted to him to prove me wrong and show me he maybe did care by at LEAST inquiring about what my reasons were. But no. just a monotone okay ciao. as if he could not have cared the slightest bit about losing me despite professing all these feelings for me. It sucks to know how little you meant to someone, and how foolish you feel for having ever believed anything he said. Its crazy how much bull**** there can be in someones words. And I just feel like absolute ****.
Miss Spider Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 This is the guy that body shamed you? I'm so sorry. He is a complete ***hat!!! Next time a guy is a jerk to you at the beginning his ass should be grass. You are beautiful and deserve so much better!!!
Author ayeshau Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 UGH YES. Everyone was so right about him was totally blinded by the red flags. I feel so ****ty right now its not even funny
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 UGH YES. Everyone was so right about him was totally blinded by the red flags. I feel so ****ty right now its not even funny Um, he should be the one feeling ****ty, not you . Sorry this happened. You simply have worth he is blind to, and you do not want somebody like him. 1
Miss Spider Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 He was a probably using PUA techniques. They intentionally try to knock girls down so she feels more at their level. They're too lame to get women being themselves. You should feel sorry for the guy.
coolheadal Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 UGH YES. Everyone was so right about him was totally blinded by the red flags. I feel so ****ty right now its not even funny Sorry this happen to you my dear, but these jerks are present int both men and women. No one really cares about you, they only care about themselves. He clearly wasn't into you as much as you were. 3rd date shouldn't even happen The man you gone out with on the first date was the man he was. Second and 3rd date wasn't him at all.
BaileyB Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Did you learn something from this experience? I hope you learned that you should never do this again. You should have paid more attention to those red flags and never have given this guy the time of day, let alone dated him for two months. Consider yourself lucky that you didn't waste more time with this idiot. Now, don't waste too much time on this pity party... You need to go and find someone who will treat you the way that you deserve to be treated.
kendahke Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 when I sent that text I wanted to him to prove me wrong and show me he maybe did care by at LEAST inquiring about what my reasons were. Had he shown you up to that point that he was capable of really caring about how you felt? It sounds like he's been using you as his punching bag. On the bright side, you should be feeling invaluable: adjective 1. beyond calculable or appraisable value; of inestimable worth; priceless: You know that you are worth better treatment than what he can muster and that it's time to finish hammering the nail in this coffin and burying him in it.
smackie9 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Remember this....first impressions count. Stop thinking it will "improve" or he will "Get better about it if I say something" no no no. You get up in the middle of the date and go home, block/delete. Why did he coldy say cio? because he is a manipulator. He DOES care....about his hurt ego. He made sure you hurt for hurting his ego, for rejecting him. Everyone is right, this guy a an a$$hat. Don't let his words tear you down. That is how an abuser works on pounding down your self esteem, making you doubt your worth, making you crawl back to them. He is sick in the head. You feeling bad is making him win. Don't take that crap, you know you are worthy of love and happiness. don't let him take that away from you. 2
MajesticUnicorn Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 He's a jerk, and there are many more out there. I've been in your position countless times, and yes it does leave you feeling defeated, invaluable, insecure, you name it. The best thing to do is realize that his horrible behavior is not a reflection on who you are as a person. Be confident in yourself, and go with your gut instinct. If a guy is a jerk from the beginning, cut him off. There's no need to settle for this type. In the future though, if you have a problem with a guy I would have texted him being honest and saying you're upset for this reason, rather than breaking up with him and expecting him to fight it. I'm not by any means defending his jerk behavior or his short text responses...but I have fallen into this trap before too where I think ending things will make them suddenly care, but the fact of the matter is they can't read our minds. Hope you aren't beating yourself up too much about this. Take time to grieve the loss of the relationship, but then realize you are worth so much more.
Cobra_X Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 UGH YES. Everyone was so right about him was totally blinded by the red flags. I feel so ****ty right now its not even funny You said earlier that you were on the thick side. Was this guy skinny or in good shape? That might be coloring his judgment. I think this guy might have been into you, but dressing him down early and then when he says that he is tired and doesn't want to party with your friends, you immediately turn around and "dump him". What did you expect him to come crawling back? I think you have some issues. He was a probably using PUA techniques. They intentionally try to knock girls down so she feels more at their level. They're too lame to get women being themselves. You should feel sorry for the guy. If this is true, then he isn't very good at it. I mean he was supposed to crash at her place (sex), and turned it down. Doesn't sound like a PUA to me.
lurker74 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 He was a probably using PUA techniques. They intentionally try to knock girls down so she feels more at their level. They're too lame to get women being themselves. You should feel sorry for the guy. Nope...not going to feel sorry for him. Not everyone who is pathetic is worthy of being felt sorry for! (And, yes, I know that's now what you really meant!) To the OP, just think of this loser as just one more mile on the broken road to the person you will be happy with.
Recommended Posts