Author JQC1 Posted November 1, 2017 Author Posted November 1, 2017 Hmm. I am not the one to judge, I've had relationships with men and women, but many lesbians are very anti bi girls. Yeah I have heard about this... she could be bi too. I just don’t know enough...
dumbass2 Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 Stop analyzing! Like you said, you're not a mind reader and guess what, neither is she. When you meet a girl online you have competition and she may have a lot of guys trying to get a date with her so guys usually have to do a little more work in the beginning. Text her today with a day and place.
Author JQC1 Posted November 1, 2017 Author Posted November 1, 2017 Stop analyzing! Like you said, you're not a mind reader and guess what, neither is she. When you meet a girl online you have competition and she may have a lot of guys trying to get a date with her so guys usually have to do a little more work in the beginning. Text her today with a day and place. Man I don’t know why I’m so scared to do this... she hasn’t showed that much interest. Ugh I should just do it haha. Also I don’t know a lot of good places for drinks other than coffee... I feel like alcohol would be the way to go though so we can both loosen up. She probably knows the town better and good places to get drinks since she goes to school here
chinadiary Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 You know what? See this date as an ice breaker. Tell yourself, you're not doing it with a view to dating HER. You're doing it to practice on. Get you over your nerves. I am not enthusiastic when it comes to being asked on dates. So I'd come over very unwilling. I'd still be more than happy to find the person I was out with was nice. 2
Author JQC1 Posted November 1, 2017 Author Posted November 1, 2017 (edited) You know what? See this date as an ice breaker. Tell yourself, you're not doing it with a view to dating HER. You're doing it to practice on. Get you over your nerves. I am not enthusiastic when it comes to being asked on dates. So I'd come over very unwilling. I'd still be more than happy to find the person I was out with was nice. This might not be a great idea... but for some reason I feel like she’ll ask if I’m going out Thursday or Friday/Saturday night since she will probably be going out with her friends and that’s an easier way of meeting. I feel like this is the college way and mindset and I honestly do not prefer that way because I still don’t have a circle of friends that I could hit up a bar with so I’d basically be showing up alone in front of all her friends. Also it’ll be extra stress having to talk to her AND her friends, not to mentioned awkward moments that are bound to happen if she goes to the bathroom or people talking about inside jokes and such. I guess I don’t want to make her uncomfortable and make her feel like I’m pushing her to go out with just me... she might want the comfort of her friends there Edit: screw it, I just texted her Edited November 1, 2017 by JQC1
kendahke Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 This sounds good in theory, but she’s young (so am i) and I just feel like it’s too pushy. I don’t understand why it should only be a one way street.... She's not the one who approached first: you are. If you don't show any initiative to follow through on what you started, then why should she arse herself to pick up your slack? After all, she doesn't know you and she isn't the one who reached out.
Author JQC1 Posted November 1, 2017 Author Posted November 1, 2017 Edit 2: she said that she’s actually busy tonight and tomorrow night but that she would love to meet up on Friday or another day. Now should I set a date?? Or should I say something like, “that’s cool, just let me know”. I feel like weekend nights are gonna be meeting up with her and her friends....
kendahke Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 (edited) Edit 2: she said that she’s actually busy tonight and tomorrow night but that she would love to meet up on Friday or another day. Now should I set a date?? Or should I say something like, “that’s cool, just let me know”. I feel like weekend nights are gonna be meeting up with her and her friends.... Do you want to go out with her or not? I mean if this is all too much for you, then perhaps you shouldn't be contacting anyone. Being young has nothing to do with showing initiative and interest. The early bird gets the worm. She said she would love to meet up on Friday--so call her back give her a time and a place for Friday and go meet her. Quit acting like she's the one who reached out to you and quit coming up with excuses and roadblocks to not go after what you want. It's not going to come knocking on your door. Edited November 1, 2017 by kendahke
chinadiary Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 Edit: screw it, I just texted her Good for you! Get out there. Pop the cherry (not actually, just... metaphorically, y'know?) 1
healing light Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 She gave you the green light for Friday. Now it's time for you to offer the time and place on that date. Don't be afraid to take initiative now that you know what day works for her--it's your move. Don't waste your time analyzing anything more than that. You don't know her, she doesn't know you, none of it is personal at this point, you have no idea what friends she does/doesn't have at college to know her hanging out patterns, etc. I don't know where you're from, but in the US we celebrate Halloween around this time so early this week would not have generally been a good time to ask for new dates as I'm assuming many would have plans. I also would generally refrain from asking people for drinks on the same date unless you know them well enough to know they're spontaneous because that sounds very last minute, like you're assuming they have nothing else going on in their life. It's a good idea to ask people out at least a few days in advance; it gives the impression you're respecting their time and making them a priority. This is just general advice, not necessarily specific to her. 1
Highndry Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 Edit 2: she said that she’s actually busy tonight and tomorrow night but that she would love to meet up on Friday or another day. Now should I set a date?? Or should I say something like, “that’s cool, just let me know”. I feel like weekend nights are gonna be meeting up with her and her friends.... She just told you she wants to go out and Friday is open. Set something up for Friday. She could not have been more clear. 2
Miss Spider Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 Edit 2: she said that she’s actually busy tonight and tomorrow night but that she would love to meet up on Friday or another day. Now should I set a date?? Or should I say something like, “that’s cool, just let me know”. I feel like weekend nights are gonna be meeting up with her and her friends.... Set the date for Friday and make it in a place where you guys will not be around her friends. If she suggest a friends meet just next her... it's too much effort so far. You have some power here... take it
Author JQC1 Posted November 1, 2017 Author Posted November 1, 2017 She gave you the green light for Friday. Now it's time for you to offer the time and place on that date. Don't be afraid to take initiative now that you know what day works for her--it's your move. Don't waste your time analyzing anything more than that. You don't know her, she doesn't know you, none of it is personal at this point, you have no idea what friends she does/doesn't have at college to know her hanging out patterns, etc. I don't know where you're from, but in the US we celebrate Halloween around this time so early this week would not have generally been a good time to ask for new dates as I'm assuming many would have plans. I also would generally refrain from asking people for drinks on the same date unless you know them well enough to know they're spontaneous because that sounds very last minute, like you're assuming they have nothing else going on in their life. It's a good idea to ask people out at least a few days in advance; it gives the impression you're respecting their time and making them a priority. This is just general advice, not necessarily specific to her. I said that Friday would work and for me and for her to let me know time/place since I don’t know a lot of places around here.. she suggested a place, told me when she’d Be free so I suggested 6. She responded “ya that should work I think”. So we have a date set up... Now my next question is.. do I text her the day of to confirm???
healing light Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 I would still take initiative in the future to research potential date spots in your city by reading different reviews like yelp even though you're new to the area. Don't be afraid to do a little leg work. My mom's ex-husband suggested a place for one of their first dates that he saw rave reviews for, not realizing it was actually a gay bar. They had a good laugh over it later but she appreciated the sentiment and effort he put forth. When suggesting dates in the future, a little thought can go a long way so she doesn't feel like she is putting forth all the effort/ideas in your pursuit of her. I think a simple, "Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow/tonight at X" on Friday or Saturday afternoon should work.
healing light Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 Oh, and remember to just relax and have fun! Getting out of your head will help you be more at ease on the date. With the right person, one misstep isn't going to blow the whole thing. And with the wrong person, it doesn't matter how much you do right. Just be yourself and don't put too much meaning into every text exchange. Things will flow more naturally with your communication if you can find a way to relax. 1
Miss Spider Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 (edited) I said that Friday would work and for me and for her to let me know time/place since I don’t know a lot of places around here.. she suggested a place, told me when she’d Be free so I suggested 6. She responded “ya that should work I think”. So we have a date set up... Now my next question is.. do I text her the day of to confirm??? I like when a guy confirms the night before. Ideally, theres some brief communication leading up to the date, but not necessary Most important is that he has confidence and capable of making decisions that suit him Edited November 1, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1
dumbass2 Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 So you respond to her " great, see you then", then on Friday morning you could text " looking forward to seeing you tonight!". That's your confirmation. No need to text Thursday night since we are already on Wed night. Make sure you are on time and maybe text her if you are first to arrive. Try to just be yourself and please, for the love of god, stop analyzing everything. This could be a one and done, you never know. You'll have those throughout your dating life. 2
Author JQC1 Posted November 2, 2017 Author Posted November 2, 2017 Thanks guys... I'll try to update after the date 1
Author JQC1 Posted November 4, 2017 Author Posted November 4, 2017 So went on the date yesterday.. had a decent time (she was different than I expected but I knew she would be since I had pre created an image of her in my mind already... #onlinedating). Anyway, she invited me out with her friends later in the night and so I met her later at the bars. Her drunk friend basically was acting as a wingman for both of us and told me that she has "a lot of drama in her life right now" but that me and her should still get together. I'm pretty sure she and her ex had just broken up and she's just been sleeping around cause another one of her friends came up and asked her about her hickey and I could tell her sober friends were trying to help her out by pulling those friends aside and basically telling them that shes trying to hook up with me tonight and to not talk about that stuff. Didn't bother me though, as long I don't get dragged into the drama i don't care... i was just there to get some and have a good time. Ended up bringing her home.. guess she anticipated coming back with me since she brought her stuff for her contact lenses lol. sex was bad. this morning she slept foreverrrrr..literally just laid there next to her for a good 6 hours. Went for the morning sex and then dropped her off and told her to let me know if she wants to hang out again. All in all... i guess this was successful. Not sure how interested I am anymore though haha but I'd be willing to hang out with her again just for kicks
dumbass2 Posted November 4, 2017 Posted November 4, 2017 Yeah, well she doesn't sound like anything other than a good time right now, so if you can handle that and not want anything more, then I guess hang out again if you want, with no expectations and don't get attached. Personally it doesn't sound as if you had a good enough time to warrant seeing her again. Are you on the hunt for a serious relationship?
Author JQC1 Posted November 4, 2017 Author Posted November 4, 2017 Yeah, well she doesn't sound like anything other than a good time right now, so if you can handle that and not want anything more, then I guess hang out again if you want, with no expectations and don't get attached. Personally it doesn't sound as if you had a good enough time to warrant seeing her again. Are you on the hunt for a serious relationship? Nope, not looking for anything serious right now. at least not with her haha
Author JQC1 Posted November 5, 2017 Author Posted November 5, 2017 So I texted her today to see if she wanted to hang out tonight... because I have work in the morning and she won’t be able to stay late. She said she was busy with homework and suggested we do something next weekend. I know she goes on dates with other people during the weekday but I’m wondering why she only has suggested us to hang out on weekend nights? Maybe it’s because she knows I have a job and that she wouldn’t be able to stay over or something or she likes me more? Typically, I would imagine someone to reserve their weekends for other things
Author JQC1 Posted November 5, 2017 Author Posted November 5, 2017 She's not that interested. Hmm really? To me it seems like she’s more interested because she wants to hang out on the weekends. Personally, if I were really interested in Someone, I’d rather spend a weekend with them than a weeknight since I can have more time. In this case, I wanted to hangout on weekdays though...
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