momo89 Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 More than a month ago I spent few days overseas with a guy that I have had contact with online for about 6 months. I stayed at his place during those few days and I really enjoyed his company. He knew that I was looking for a serious relationship and I told him I did not visit him for sex but to get to know him better. I also told him that I liked him. Making long story short I came back to my country and I messaged him that I enjoyed spending time and getting to know him. This is what confuses me. He didn't answer me back after me sending that message. Sure, I could see that he was online but no reply whatsoever. After 3 days of silence he adds me on FB. So I accepted him thinking he would probably write to me. But nope. It's been more than a month now and he hasn't replied back. Why did he even bother to add me on FB if he doesn't even have any intentions to write to me? Any thoughts on this behaviour? I can also add that it's not the first time that he stops replying. It has happened 2-3 time before and when he did that it was me again who initiated contact and that's when he answers me back.
Author momo89 Posted October 29, 2017 Author Posted October 29, 2017 Cookiesandough yes the last day before me leaving the country we had sex
dumbass2 Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 He added you on Facebook because you have become an option and a notch on his bedpost. You told him you were looking for serious and not just sex, but he's over seas and you had sex with him after just seeing him in person for 2 days. That doesn't scream to me that you were looking for serious.
Miss Spider Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 (edited) I feel you should block him. By ignoring you he is being disrespectful and not treating you like a man interested in a woman . It's not even being a decent person. He may be keeping you warm... I've been noticing a phenomenon where men who have faded a woman still keep up her social media. I don't mean to freak you out, but I have a theory regarding this. Extreme analogy but it's intended to incentivize you to block this chump from your SM You know how some mentally ill people like arsonists and serial killers often revisit the scene of their crime or read news articles about it. Just like taking trophies it is a way to relive the excitement of the event over and over, much like you and I do when we return to a favorite place because of our experiences there. Basically, he thinks you're hot and he's reliving his experiences with you even though he has no interest in taking it further for now. Edited October 29, 2017 by Cookiesandough 2
ExpatInItaly Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 You were a fling for him but he doesn't have any interest beyond that. He might be open to another round of nookie if you're ever his way again, but I wouldn't count on any regular contact with him. I was you once, having a little fling with someone I had met in my home country before I went on vacation in his country. (Not to visit him, though we did spend a couple days together) We're still on each other's social medias, but haven't actually spoken in a few years now. It was a nice memory, and that's how I would view this in your case too. 1
Author momo89 Posted October 29, 2017 Author Posted October 29, 2017 He added you on Facebook because you have become an option and a notch on his bedpost. You told him you were looking for serious and not just sex, but he's over seas and you had sex with him after just seeing him in person for 2 days. That doesn't scream to me that you were looking for serious. I told him I had been single for some years and that I didn't even have sex during that amount of time as well. If he took me serious and believed me, I am not sure but I was very clear to him about what I wanted. Looking back it surely does feel like he only wanted sex but it's something I don't regret doing either. I learn from it and won't do the same mistake the next time. It's him adding me on FB which confused me and he would have done a good deed by not adding me in the first place.
Author momo89 Posted October 29, 2017 Author Posted October 29, 2017 I feel you should block him. By ignoring you he is being disrespectful and not treating you like a man interested in a woman . It's not even being a decent person. He may be keeping you warm... I've been noticing a phenomenon where men who have faded a woman still keep up her social media. I don't mean to freak you out, but I have a theory regarding this. Extreme analogy but it's intended to incentivize you to block this chump from your SM You know how some mentally ill people like arsonists and serial killers often revisit the scene of their crime or read news articles about it. Just like taking trophies it is a way to relive the excitement of the event over and over, much like you and I do when we return to a favorite place because of our experiences there. Basically, he thinks you're hot and he's reliving his experiences with you even though he has no interest in taking it further for now. Thank you Cookiesandough for this insight. I have thought numerous of times of blocking him but why do I get the feeling that I will only give him more power if I do so? It's like I will boost his ego or something. I truly don't understand people behaving like this, seeing someone as their trophy and still wanting to follow them despite not wanting to have anything to do with that person...what a waste of time 1
kendahke Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 I'd block him on social media. For some reason, he doesn't want to talk with you but he wants to surveil your life. That's rather creepy to me and I'd put an end to that. 1
stillafool Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 Thank you Cookiesandough for this insight. I have thought numerous of times of blocking him but why do I get the feeling that I will only give him more power if I do so? It's like I will boost his ego or something. I truly don't understand people behaving like this, seeing someone as their trophy and still wanting to follow them despite not wanting to have anything to do with that person...what a waste of time It certainly isn't going to give him an ego boost by being blocked. Look at the reactions of the people who have been blocked here. It is more a blow to one's ego. Regardless forget about him and what he thinks do what is best for you by blocking him.
jay1983 Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 Another one of these. didn't we just have this same story days ago? 1
LoverOfDance Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I've done online dating for 4 years and I've spoken to and met men like this. He doesn't want a serious relationship with you. All he wants from you is sex. He added you on Facebook to keep you around. You are an option to him. Believe me, that's the simple explanation. He doesn't want to be emotionally tied to you. All he wants is sex. And I believe this is the reason why he won't respond to any messages you send him. However, if you send him some kind of sexual message or if you act like you want to talk about sex, he will respond. If you don't believe me, try it. I am 95% sure that he will respond. He just sees you as someone that can possibly supply sex in the future. If you don't want to be that person, block him and move on.
coolheadal Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 I told him I had been single for some years and that I didn't even have sex during that amount of time as well. If he took me serious and believed me, I am not sure but I was very clear to him about what I wanted. Looking back it surely does feel like he only wanted sex but it's something I don't regret doing either. I learn from it and won't do the same mistake the next time. It's him adding me on FB which confused me and he would have done a good deed by not adding me in the first place. You shouldn't had the sex and kept to the point you was trying to do. Get to know him. Because when you do that you have more respect for yourself. Now you gave him sex and he's done with you. He has other women beside you at this beck and call That's why you have the silent ghost treatment. He's not interested in you anymore.
Author momo89 Posted November 4, 2017 Author Posted November 4, 2017 Thank you all for the replies. It really opened up my eyes and it's time to move on. Thank you everyone!
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