lbh33 Posted October 28, 2017 Posted October 28, 2017 Me and this guy had a great first date and were pretty text-y before the first date. He seemed really interested in me (consistently initiated convos, maintained them, and was flirty) and he said he'd like to go on a second date. However, it's been nearly a week since our first date and he's barely spoken to me. When he does, he seems uninterested. I stopped trying to keep text convos going for this reason. I actually told him that he didn't seem very interested and that that's fine but I only like dating people who are actively really interested in me and he said he really wants to go to know me more and that we should really go on a second date. So, I agreed to because something about this guy just makes me really like him. However, he also said that he can't go until early November because he has to wait for his next paycheck...and he's still distant/not showing interest other than what I've said. I am waiting for him to reach out to me bc I really like him but is this another instance where I am being silly and should let it go? ALSO, to the males, any idea why a guy would act like he really wants to see you again but appears so disinterested at the same time?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 Me and this guy had a great first date and were pretty text-y before the first date. He seemed really interested in me (consistently initiated convos, maintained them, and was flirty) and he said he'd like to go on a second date. However, it's been nearly a week since our first date and he's barely spoken to me. When he does, he seems uninterested. I stopped trying to keep text convos going for this reason. I actually told him that he didn't seem very interested and that that's fine but I only like dating people who are actively really interested in me and he said he really wants to go to know me more and that we should really go on a second date. So, I agreed to because something about this guy just makes me really like him. However, he also said that he can't go until early November because he has to wait for his next paycheck...and he's still distant/not showing interest other than what I've said. I am waiting for him to reach out to me bc I really like him but is this another instance where I am being silly and should let it go? ALSO, to the males, any idea why a guy would act like he really wants to see you again but appears so disinterested at the same time? I recall a man on another message board I was on acting like the man you are describing, who would have to wait for his next paycheck. He seemed to have Asperger's and be incapable of having "normal" interactions to show his interest. No clue if that is what is happening here, but it is possible he is just kind of a clueless guy. Either that, or not interested. See what happens next week, but stop doing the contacting. 1
HarmonyDriven Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 .... I actually told him that he didn't seem very interested and that that's fine but I only like dating people who are actively really interested in me and he said he really wants to go to know me more and that we should really go on a second date. So, I agreed to because something about this guy just makes me really like him. However, he also said that he can't go until early November because he has to wait for his next paycheck...and he's still distant/not showing interest other than what I've said. I am waiting for him to reach out to me bc I really like him but is this another instance where I am being silly and should let it go? You had one great date! That's a lot more than many people. Take it for what its worth. IMO, if he was really interested, you two would be talking on the phone, he would have scheduled a 2nd date (many things you can do without costing a lot or costing any money.) Try not to text so much....when you text a lot before dates even happen, many people create an illusion of a person before they meet and most of the time it does not pan out they way the thought it would (post meeting.) IMO, yes you are "being silly and should let it go." Why would you want to be with someone who does not show the same interest as you do?
ReallyDarlingReally Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 Waiting is your big mistake. Don't wait on him. Date other guys too. Reason being is that the guys you date should always be "options" until the relationship is official. That way, if he doesn't follow up, you won't feel like you've wasted your time and energy on liking this guy. I say treat it as "IF he calls then cool, if he doesn't oh well because you weren't waiting on it. Saves you a lot of tears in the future 3
staggerlee71 Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 He is broke until next week. He is possibly limiting his interaction because he doesn't want to find himself in a situation where he may have to pay for something. For example, your flirting via text and YOU suggest getting coffee or going for a walk or whatever. no matter what you do, money will come into play. Stopping for a bottled water, a sandwich etc. he wants to pay but cant. If he is interested, he will start to initiate in anticipation of pay check and set a date
Miss Spider Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 Me and this guy had a great first date and were pretty text-y before the first date. He seemed really interested in me (consistently initiated convos, maintained them, and was flirty) and he said he'd like to go on a second date. However, it's been nearly a week since our first date and he's barely spoken to me. When he does, he seems uninterested. I stopped trying to keep text convos going for this reason. I actually told him that he didn't seem very interested and that that's fine but I only like dating people who are actively really interested in me and he said he really wants to go to know me more and that we should really go on a second date. So, I agreed to because something about this guy just makes me really like him. However, he also said that he can't go until early November because he has to wait for his next paycheck...and he's still distant/not showing interest other than what I've said. I am waiting for him to reach out to me bc I really like him but is this another instance where I am being silly and should let it go? ALSO, to the males, any idea why a guy would act like he really wants to see you again but appears so disinterested at the same time? You don't always need money for a date. Why not suggest a walk along a canal, around town, in a lovely park?
coolheadal Posted October 29, 2017 Posted October 29, 2017 Me and this guy had a great first date and were pretty text-y before the first date. He seemed really interested in me (consistently initiated convos, maintained them, and was flirty) and he said he'd like to go on a second date. However, it's been nearly a week since our first date and he's barely spoken to me. When he does, he seems uninterested. I stopped trying to keep text convos going for this reason. I actually told him that he didn't seem very interested and that that's fine but I only like dating people who are actively really interested in me and he said he really wants to go to know me more and that we should really go on a second date. So, I agreed to because something about this guy just makes me really like him. However, he also said that he can't go until early November because he has to wait for his next paycheck...and he's still distant/not showing interest other than what I've said. I am waiting for him to reach out to me bc I really like him but is this another instance where I am being silly and should let it go? ALSO, to the males, any idea why a guy would act like he really wants to see you again but appears so disinterested at the same time? No need for him to drop off like he did, something is going on and a week is too long. Sounds like he wants to take it slow and develop things with you. But when they say the word "slow" caution flag is waving.. Usually means he's dating with options with another girl and you he dated once. So he's busy with other girls along side of you. Watch out my dear don't get mix up with guy you hardly know your still strangers at best. Again no guy should ever stop talking with the woman he's so interested there is no doubt in his mind but this guy drop you for 1 week. Then turn around because you ask him a question and that answer was to take it slow. If I was you don't wait for him to be free again to take you out.
Author lbh33 Posted November 1, 2017 Author Posted November 1, 2017 He is broke until next week. He is possibly limiting his interaction because he doesn't want to find himself in a situation where he may have to pay for something. For example, your flirting via text and YOU suggest getting coffee or going for a walk or whatever. no matter what you do, money will come into play. Stopping for a bottled water, a sandwich etc. he wants to pay but cant. If he is interested, he will start to initiate in anticipation of pay check and set a date He has texted me a few times since I posed this for brief, casual text convos. Last we talked was Monday. Would it come across poorly or needy to text him tonight or tomorrow and ask if he still wants to get together soon?
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 1, 2017 Posted November 1, 2017 He has texted me a few times since I posed this for brief, casual text convos. Last we talked was Monday. Would it come across poorly or needy to text him tonight or tomorrow and ask if he still wants to get together soon? Not needy. Go for it. 1
dumbass2 Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 (edited) He has texted me a few times since I posed this for brief, casual text convos. Last we talked was Monday. Would it come across poorly or needy to text him tonight or tomorrow and ask if he still wants to get together soon? If you're going to do that, might as well throw a specific day and time out there. If he says yes, great and if not, it's an opportunity for him to give an alternative day. If not it I'll be another measure of his interest Also, if he paid for the first, you could say that this one's on you and that takes his financial situation out of the equation. Edited November 2, 2017 by dumbass2 1
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