My mother [58F] decided to tell me about ex gf getting married to the guy

[ahall1701]

This is a little long.

 

Last year my girlfriend started an emotional affair. We were together for almost 3 years. I believe she was BPD. We're both in our mid 20s.

 

As soon as I discovered that she was messaging this guy behind my back I disappeared. I sent her a text and told her we were done. Her affair was about a month in when I left

 

 

Our relationship was very toxic by the end. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I stayed for way longer than I should have.

 

 

Today, a few hours ago, my mother decided to tell me that my ex got married in the first week of october. Just 13 months after I left her. Married to the guy she was seeing behind my back.

 

 

Apparently my best friend found out by browsing Facebook. He told my brother, my brother told mom, she told me. My mom actually researched the whole thing.

My question. Why tell me? I went strict no contact after I left. Blocked her everywhere.

 

 

I posted here when I was beginning to suspect something. But I was already on the verge to leave due to her behavior.

 

 

She joined a weird new age church and went down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole.

 

 

Suddenly vaccines caused autism, the illuminati was taking over the world, the pope was evil, My family was going to hell for not being saved, and other things

 

 

(Skip if you don't care about her behavior events)

 

 

June 2016, she runs out of a theatre saying there was a demon on her (movie, X-men Apocalypse) then ran around a parking garage for 20 min after she jumped out of the car at 5mph. After that she began frantically reading the bible.

 

 

July 2016, Rages because I went swimming with family while she was working.

 

 

Aug 2016, Rubs anti demon oil on walls of new apartment to get demons out

 

 

April 2016, Says someone is in my house while I'm working, I find her 10 minutes later, 3 blocks away down the street. On the corner at 11p.m., my house locked, she climbed out a window.

 

 

May 2016, she activates parking brake on my vehicle while I'm driving 45mph on highway (electric button parking brake) then tried gas lighting me.

 

Crazy **** right?

 

But wait there's more!!!!!

 

 

She constantly flirted with other men.

 

She would rage and have horrible outbursts a few times a month (broke my dashboard)

 

 

She gave her number to other dudes to "save them"

Started following this crazy guy named Kent Hovind. A felon who was arrested for tax evasion and was in prison for 10 years. (Read up his wiki)

 

 

Blew me off after I learned my best friend was in the ICU.

Her "church" friends started doing coke and she didn't see the problem with church leaders doing blow.

 

 

She drank a ton and would drive drunk. One night she told me she has wanted to die since she was 10.

 

 

The list is long and embarrassing. I wanted to help her get mental help. But I was exhausted. I took the cheating as my opportunity to dissappear. It worked.

 

 

But the emotional toll took a while to recover from.

I only ran into her once over the summer at a pool. She was with that dude. She saw me and got her things then left the park. She also left the new guy there while he was trying to figure out what was happening.

 

 

It was an abusive and insane relationship. And I have only myself to blame for staying as long as I did. But I don't want to hear about her or ever see her again.

 

 

Why do people feel it necessary to update me on her life? My own family of all people.

 

 

She got married in that "church" with all those weird people around.

 

 

Those people did the whole faith healing, speaking in tongues things and other weird ****.

 

 

Makes my skin crawl.

(Continue)

 

 

I guess I'm just sort of in a weird place tonight. Thoughts of what might have been and my life this past year.

 

I'm in a much better place and don't have any problems. I'm not dating right now but I'm not really looking. Just in cruise control.

 

Not entirely sure what I'm looking to gain by posting. If you want to read my previous posts, by all means.

 

 

Thanks for reading my crazy story.

[Trust666]

//I guess I'm just sort of in a weird place tonight. Thoughts of what might have been and my life this past year.//

 

In a much better place than you would have been from the sounds of it.

 

I get the feeling weird thing, and maybe a bit of a bruised ego, but now some other guy gets the bullet you dodged

 

Family and friends suck at times, I think they forget or are not aware of how you don't want to know or did NC. Social media also makes it much more prevalent today IMO.

[Maldives]

This is a little long.

 

Last year my girlfriend started an emotional affair. We were together for almost 3 years. I believe she was BPD. We're both in our mid 20s.

 

As soon as I discovered that she was messaging this guy behind my back I disappeared. I sent her a text and told her we were done. Her affair was about a month in when I left

 

 

Our relationship was very toxic by the end. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I stayed for way longer than I should have.

 

 

Today, a few hours ago, my mother decided to tell me that my ex got married in the first week of october. Just 13 months after I left her. Married to the guy she was seeing behind my back.

 

 

Apparently my best friend found out by browsing Facebook. He told my brother, my brother told mom, she told me. My mom actually researched the whole thing.

My question. Why tell me? I went strict no contact after I left. Blocked her everywhere.

 

 

I posted here when I was beginning to suspect something. But I was already on the verge to leave due to her behavior.

 

 

She joined a weird new age church and went down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole.

 

 

Suddenly vaccines caused autism, the illuminati was taking over the world, the pope was evil, My family was going to hell for not being saved, and other things

 

 

(Skip if you don't care about her behavior events)

 

 

June 2016, she runs out of a theatre saying there was a demon on her (movie, X-men Apocalypse) then ran around a parking garage for 20 min after she jumped out of the car at 5mph. After that she began frantically reading the bible.

 

 

July 2016, Rages because I went swimming with family while she was working.

 

 

Aug 2016, Rubs anti demon oil on walls of new apartment to get demons out

 

 

April 2016, Says someone is in my house while I'm working, I find her 10 minutes later, 3 blocks away down the street. On the corner at 11p.m., my house locked, she climbed out a window.

 

 

May 2016, she activates parking brake on my vehicle while I'm driving 45mph on highway (electric button parking brake) then tried gas lighting me.

 

Crazy **** right?

 

But wait there's more!!!!!

 

 

She constantly flirted with other men.

 

She would rage and have horrible outbursts a few times a month (broke my dashboard)

 

 

She gave her number to other dudes to "save them"

Started following this crazy guy named Kent Hovind. A felon who was arrested for tax evasion and was in prison for 10 years. (Read up his wiki)

 

 

Blew me off after I learned my best friend was in the ICU.

Her "church" friends started doing coke and she didn't see the problem with church leaders doing blow.

 

 

 

 

She drank a ton and would drive drunk. One night she told me she has wanted to die since she was 10.

 

 

The list is long and embarrassing. I wanted to help her get mental help. But I was exhausted. I took the cheating as my opportunity to dissappear. It worked.

 

 

But the emotional toll took a while to recover from.

I only ran into her once over the summer at a pool. She was with that dude. She saw me and got her things then left the park. She also left the new guy there while he was trying to figure out what was happening.

 

 

It was an abusive and insane relationship. And I have only myself to blame for staying as long as I did. But I don't want to hear about her or ever see her again.

 

 

Why do people feel it necessary to update me on her life? My own family of all people.

 

 

She got married in that "church" with all those weird people around.

 

 

Those people did the whole faith healing, speaking in tongues things and other weird ****.

 

 

Makes my skin crawl.

(Continue)

 

 

I guess I'm just sort of in a weird place tonight. Thoughts of what might have been and my life this past year.

 

I'm in a much better place and don't have any problems. I'm not dating right now but I'm not really looking. Just in cruise control.

 

Not entirely sure what I'm looking to gain by posting. If you want to read my previous posts, by all means.

 

 

Thanks for reading my crazy story.

 

 

I know exactly what it is and why u feel the way u do. U shared a relationship wth this woman and as crazy as she was, it's gonna hurt hearing she got married. Take a few days and u will get use to the idea. I've noticed the same thing wth me any news about exs open wounds then there's a period of time that passes for u to adjust. Family and friends sometimes can't help but share think gossip it's like a sugar rush. The one way to avoid that is to make it absolutely crystal clear to them not to share any news about ur ex wth u. That's the only way.

 

U should read my story dude how's this I actually have to work wth my pycho ex and she makes sure she rubs it in my face all the time been hell. As I write this, the next 4 weeks will be the 1st time this year I get a break from this invasive environment it's been hell u r right to not wanbt to know anything about her. One thing I wanted to add tho she's got some major issues her getting married ain't gonna fix that. Probably the next thing u hear about her is her impending divorce lol.

[Sweetfish]

Im sorry but..... How did you even survived July 2016 bro. That is instant grounds for bailing and no that is not BPD, that is more on the cluster A spectrum of traits (Odd and Bizarre)

[ahall1701]

Im sorry but..... How did you even survived July 2016 bro. That is instant grounds for bailing and no that is not BPD, that is more on the cluster A spectrum of traits (Odd and Bizarre)[/quote

 

Not bpd? Think so? Regardless she's a bit out there. But I'm just glad I'm out. Bittersweet.