carl198 Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 Hi, this is my first time doing this and im doing it cuz i really need all kinds of advise. My girlfriend and i broke up on September 23 we were together for 1 years and 3 months,to be honest i love her i cant stop thinking about her i had so many plans with her i really thought she was the one.She is 19 y/o im 23. She broke up with me, what happened is that she asked me for time cuz supposedly she wasnt feeling well and i didnt agree so we ended breaking up. After we break up i sent her many texts telling her that i love her trying to save the relationship, once i sent her flower but she even texted me saying thanks, she stated that there s nothing to save. I was for 3 weeks trying to get to her so we can meet and talk but nothing , it looks like she has no intentions of a second chance. Her birthday is next month and i dont know what to do, should i leave it like that ?? o should i send her flowers and a happy birthday postcard??
1966Seahorse Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 Hi carl198, She has told you that there is nothing to save .... You have spent 3 weeks trying to meet her so you can talk but this has not been forthcoming .... As hard as it may be, I would leave her alone now .... she has made her intentions clear. All the best. 1
Author carl198 Posted October 26, 2017 Author Posted October 26, 2017 thanks for the answers guys, So i shouldn't even send her the flowers and the postcards for her birthday?? .
1966Seahorse Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 thanks for the answers guys, So i shouldn't even send her the flowers and the postcards for her birthday?? . No .... just leave her be now. Work on you and a way forward. 1
HumanMachine Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 thanks for the answers guys, so i shouldn't even send her the flowers and the postcards for her birthday?? . no!!!!!!!!! 2
Zahara Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 thanks for the answers guys, So i shouldn't even send her the flowers and the postcards for her birthday?? . No, you need to heal and move on. You can't do that if you keep revisiting her. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 So i shouldn't even send her the flowers and the postcards for her birthday?? . She's not your GF anymore. She's just someone you used to know. You want to send her flowers & birthday greetings because you hope she will receive them & realize she made a mistake by breaking up with you. That won't happen. Rather what will happen is she will get them & be annoyed that you sent them. She won't think "how sweet of carl198". She will think "OMG. WTF is wrong with him? What's it gonna take for him to go away?" and you will reinforce her decision to break up with you. 5
Author carl198 Posted October 26, 2017 Author Posted October 26, 2017 im not expecting her to do that, i just said i could do it because at the end she was my GF for over a year and we shared many stuff. my birthday was on july and she decored my room with balloons and etc, but as i said we were together back then. Maybe im just to kind or noble or i just see it as a payback, i dont know,
Zahara Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 im not expecting her to do that, i just said i could do it because at the end she was my GF for over a year and we shared many stuff. my birthday was on july and she decored my room with balloons and etc, but as i said we were together back then. Maybe im just to kind or noble or i just see it as a payback, i dont know, She's not your girlfriend anymore so you are not obligated to send flowers/card. And it's evident that you are still hopeful so your comment that you're not expecting a reaction isn't very convincing. The relationship is over. It's time you move on. 3
Highndry Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 The worst thing you could ever do for yourself or her is to initiate any sort of contact. She does not want anything to do with you, and sending flowers and a happy birthday make you appear extremely weak and needy, and tone deaf. She has made it clear she does not want you in her life, and your failed attempts at a reconciliation should be memory enough for you to understand that "winning her back" or anything else is an exercise in futility, and would likely result in resentment or pity on her end, both of which I can assure you are not what you want. Move on, Carl, as hard as it is. 1
Blanco Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 So let's see: - She dumped you - You've sent her flowers already and her reception to them was tepid - She has said there is nothing to save the relationship - She won't meet you to talk - She has given no indication she wants a second chance And you want to know if you should send her gifts for her birthday? She's given you enough to let you know she's not interested. Continuing to press on puts you into potential creeper territory. 3
Author carl198 Posted October 26, 2017 Author Posted October 26, 2017 you guys r right , thanks to you all for the advise, the game with her is over 4
Bromeo Posted October 27, 2017 Posted October 27, 2017 Please don't do this. I was the king of trying to save things, and it only makes a bad situation worse. Read my thread as a cautionary tale of what not to do. She won't have a magical realization. Like the other posters said, salvage your self respect and move forward. Believe me, it sucks bad. I bought mine three separate boxes of gifts, sang songs, poetry, nothing worked. She played games till I got so emotional I thought I'd break in two. Leave it be. Heal in peace. 2
Maldives Posted October 27, 2017 Posted October 27, 2017 Definately dont reach out dude. u probably dont wanna hear this but say she has a guy and there celebrating her birthday and gets a message from u and just pays out on u dont do it dude ask ureself what is it u r going to achieve saying happy bday its not gonna make her come back dude dont do it take it from someone who has u have no obligation to her anymore. just remember she ripped ur heart out 1
ayoung73 Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 It is and will continue to be painful, it is obvious you have more feelings for her than she does for you, IT WILL BE painful to move on, but this is what you MUST do!!! MOVE ON, she has!! It all happens for a reason, you’re young, you’ll meet someone new, someone else….blah blah blah! It doesn’t help you now, I know, but you must do something else to get your mind off of her…start a new hobby, join a group, Christian Bible study, get involved in your church, youth organization, mentor someone, volunteer, anything to move beyond this woman. NC from this point on, unfriend her, block her from all of your social media accounts and DO NOT be tempted to check up on her and DO not text her at all. You deserve someone to love you, to love you unconditionally, to desire and want to be with you for who you are and to be your partner. I didn’t find my true love until I was 33 and I have to move to the other coast to find her! But the point is, I found her and it was worth the wait, don’t give in, she has other plans and you CANNOT force someone to love you or to do as you wish! Hang in there, keep reaching out to the forum etc., let me know how you’re doing, it’s tough! 1
garysmith Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 Don't send her anything! You won't get her back and she will just take as another gesture of you trying to get her back. Just let it be. She doesn't want you anymore unfortunately. You just have to move on. I need to do the same thing!
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