Damage control after post BU insanity. How to deal with and redeem yourself from it?

[shastaa]

I was dumped by my ex recently and suddenly with no real reasons.

 

All I know is that he saw/met someone for a lunch date a week before he dumped me as he confessed to it during breakup.

 

Initially, i accepted the BU but I threw in fits here and there because of disappointment. I went NC immediately 3 days after BU then ex contacted me saying sorry etc didn't mean to hurt me mess me up etc. i said i have accepted that we are done and I didn't replied after that.

 

Few days after that, I felt really angry, I harbored huge amount of hathred towards my ex because I felt betrayed, lied to and strung along. I have gone batty and thought it's not fair i am feeling so low while he's guilt has been lifted and now possibly, happily flirting with a new girl.

 

I failed to be the better person, I made a fake email account and stated typing all my negative emotions to make my ex feel guilty, I said horrible things and made sure he knows that I lost a lot of weight, couldn't eat and diagnosed with depression clinically. The email was under the name of my best friend whom I rent a home with for 5 years. I made it looked like I as the best friend tried to follow around the supposed shastaa and found out she's been taking trips to clinic and that I as the best friend snooped on her phone to find out what's going on with shastaa.

 

How do I do damage control? If you were my ex would you have been mad or hate me for that?

[ExpatInItaly]

Nah, I wouldn't be mad. I'd be concerned that you were not alright, but I don't think he'll hate you. He will know it came from you, as the "cover" for the best friend does not sound plausible.

 

However, you need to worry less about what your ex thinks. He cheated by going on a date with someone while you were still together, so it's not as though this guy's moral compass is functioning properly anyway. I don't think you need to go into damage control mode. The relationship is already over, so what it is you're trying to repair?

 

Focus on you and your recovery now.

[shastaa]

Thank you for the replyExpatinItaly

 

I guess what I meant with damage control is that I felt bad acting on my negative emotions. usually have a very good control over things and I don't really reach out to my dumper after BU. it has just gotten to me one day where I felt really rebellious that I let him off the hook just like that and I was the one getting all the discomfort. Is that normal? This is the 2nd breakup that that I have experienced and first one that involved breaking up bec "he'd like to see if he can develop feeligs for someone else".

I do not have any wishes to get back together or be friends as he has completely breached my trust and lost all respect for him. I think the "white God factor" must habe gotten to his head as he recently moved to Asia as an expat and I bet local girls are all over him which he don't usually get back from his homeland.

 

Anyway, the only closure that I need to remember is that HE LEFT away that easily and thrown what we we had. I am disappointed it turned out to be that way. It's just sad he turned out to be a d**k as we were each other's absolute best friends.

 

I am kinda bummed that he'd figure out the email sender is fake and actually me because would mean I just lost the small amount of dignity that was left me after getting dumped.

 

Thank you. I really do appreciate the reply and it would be really nice to get more objective perspective from different people, I know it will not chage anything, but sometimes, it's nice to vent and understand.