Shemmyemmy23 Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 So I matched with this guy on tinder a few weeks ago and we’ve been talking everyday since. We went for a drink last Monday and have spoken everyday since, and even about having a second date. This Monday just gone we were maybe going to meet but he wasn’t sure because he’s currently doing his Masters and apparently has a lot of work to do and we haven’t been able to arrange another day. Just don’t know if this is a lost cause and he’s just one of those guys who want to message but don’t want to meet up?
mortensorchid Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 (edited) Questions after you met face to face: 1)How long after your first meeting face to face did you hear from him again? 2) Who contacted who after the first meeting? Edited October 25, 2017 by mortensorchid Added second question
Author Shemmyemmy23 Posted October 25, 2017 Author Posted October 25, 2017 Questions after you met face to face: 1)How long after your first meeting face to face did you hear from him again? 2) Who contacted who after the first meeting? 1) we started speaking again straight after the first date and haven’t stopped. At times if the conversation is kind of dying, he always starts up a new conversation to keep it going 2) I messaged him after the first date just to let him know I had a good time
mortensorchid Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 So I am clear, YOU texted him first after you had parted ways. Right?
ExposedBrick Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 So I matched with this guy on tinder a few weeks ago and we’ve been talking everyday since. We went for a drink last Monday and have spoken everyday since, and even about having a second date. This Monday just gone we were maybe going to meet but he wasn’t sure because he’s currently doing his Masters and apparently has a lot of work to do and we haven’t been able to arrange another day. Just don’t know if this is a lost cause and he’s just one of those guys who want to message but don’t want to meet up? Its a tough situation, but its a bit unusual the other person would continue messaging you in this scenario. I generally expect my second date with a person to come within 10 days of the first or it just loses all momentum. Tinder is such a flaky platform I'm actually impressed you had an actual date. I would explore other options, but keep messaging, as it sounds like that's what he might be doing.
Miss Spider Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 personally, don't think a guy who was impressed by a first date would wait so long to plan a second.
act00 Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 He's busy and likes the pen pal and probably have someone available when he's available. The signs aren't the best. You texted for a few weeks before the first date, and now you're finding a second isn't forthcoming. The pattern is set. I'm kind of a glutton for punishment, but if that date went well, I would see it through a little longer. I wouldn't be silent about planning a second date, and I don't care if it comes across as desperate or needy - I'm seeking a man who is long-term and wants me around, and I don't think once a week is a lot to ask in the beginning, if not twice. Too many excuses and too busy? Okay then, find someone available. Continue with your life and see other people. You need to decide how long is too long and drop the rope when you reach that point. This weekend is busy? Surely you can plan for next, as you have a whole week to do it. I find it hard to believe that if he was that interested he couldn't find a couple hours for you...I need to listen to my own advice. In any case, it's a matter of not investing yourself too much into this relationship and end it when it's clear it's not going anywhere. Don't string it along for a month or more. Your choice, but I think you have some clear signals.
caveman621 Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 OP, you say you matched on Tinder. What you did not say is if you enjoyed his company and WANT to try to see him again and maybe start dating. Since you're asking the question, I'm going to assume the answer is yes. It seems like he is making an effort to keep communication going, so it's certainly not a lost cause.
mortensorchid Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 There is a new situation that has occurred with the Tinder / dating apps which I picked up on immediately: If you offer your phone number and he does not text you at your phone number (rather through the app messaging system itself) he's not serious about you. That for sure is a lost cause. You will end up texting a few times through the app, then one of you will text at some point 48 hours after the first get together, then the other party will not respond. Remember the 48 Hour Rule : If you have not heard from him within 48 hours after the first meeting, 90% of the time you will not hear from him again. The other 10% might call you a few days later, or even text you within an hour of departure or the next day. You might have a second get together with him, but he really doesn't care if you say yes or no to the second offer. After that second get together, you will not hear from him again. Why? He's not that into you. He will not have a reason or excuse as to why or why not he isn't contacting you (like "I was waiting for YOU to contact me"), he will contact you - as in a phone call - because he's interested in you. This has been proven time and again with me.
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