baralia4 Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 I met this girl so randomly in public a few months ago. She and I hit it off really well, and I think it was pretty clear to both of us that we were attracted to one another. A few times into hanging out, we went for a long walk together, and I'm thinking "it's time. I gotta kiss her." but at the same time, I didn't want to impose. Finally, after a while and probably looking at her in a funny way, she said "just kiss me". So things were going well enough, and she seemed to be really into me. That's why I had to tell her the truth about me: Financially (strictly financially), right now I am having one of the most difficult times of my life. It got to the point where I couldn't hold it in any longer and that she had to know right then. Just as I was about to send her the message, this pops up in my inbox from her: "I've been wanting to tell you something ... you're one of the most beautiful people I've met in my life, and you've inspired me in more ways than you know, and you've added so much color to my life and I'm so grateful I met you. And I hate that I already feel this strongly about you, but I won't look at this city the same. When I think of you, I think of color being added to my life." So I wasn't expecting that ... At that point, I just had to tell her that I was struggling financially, and that for the longest time, things had not been looking up. I hated that I hadn't been honest with her. So I end up taking 2 jobs (finally! I had been searching for so long) because I want to do whatever I can to have a healthy relationship with her. But after I revealed my struggle, things just feel like they changed. Obviously it's fair that she sees me different now. She's successful and went to an Ivy League school. This is damn near like a movie I saw ... But they've changed so much. Our relationship feels as if it was definitely going somewhere ... but now it seems like she says things like "I need to work on myself" and "We should try to be friends". In the past month, I've worked really hard to find a good job, and things are looking better than they ever have ... Actually, just about all of it is due to her help. She still tells her friends about me like I'm someone who saved the world, and apparently they are dying to meet me. I suppose I have to accept that the relationship is lost?
d0nnivain Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 I'd get some clarification from her. Point blank ask her if she would still feel the need to "work on herself" at this moment if you were more successful. If you kinda call her out on it, she may go back to seeing you as the guy who added color to her life. Do remind her of your industriousness. 1
hercules22 Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 biggest copout when she said she needs to work on herself what a big lie that is after finding out your financial issues and the whole lets still be friends is so she can fall back to you when your back up on your two feet will she now search for someone else . if you did truly light up her world then she would be comforting you while you get through your hardship
Miss Spider Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 First of all, with how slow you're movedphysically, you sounded like you were headed to friendzone even before your admission. A woman shouldnt have to say "just kiss me!!!!" Be confident and lead. Also, did she really say you should "try to be friends"? Finances are important to a lot of people in relationships, but what can you do but work hard and try to fix your cirumstances? Grats on finding your jobs. If she doesn't respect that, she's not for you.
Highndry Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 I'm not quite sure what's going on here. You met her a few months ago, but all you've done is kissed her? That seems excessively slow for a relationship to progress as cookie above has mentioned. That seems like a big issue to me. Next, assuming you have not even taken this relationship to that next level, why are you talking to her about your financial problems? I think it's way too soon for a conversation of that nature and I would not be surprised if it turned her off. It reeks of insecurity, and you need to show strength. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 First of all, with how slow you're movedphysically, you sounded like you were headed to friendzone even before your admission. A woman shouldnt have to say "just kiss me!!!!" Be confident and lead. Also, did she really say you should "try to be friends"? Finances are important to a lot of people in relationships, but what can you do but work hard and try to fix your cirumstances? Grats on finding your jobs. If she doesn't respect that, she's not for you. OP, that's that. Some people, an Ivy League graduate are looking for successful people. Perhaps this girl is not looking for someone who is wealthy, but I would not be surprised if she is looking for someone who resonates 'stability' and 'ambition.' Ask her and find out what's really going on. I don't blame her for feeling differently. Some people simply are not ready to date and that includes being in a financial position to offer stability, consistency. What does she do? I can see how some people are worried that less than ambitious people will take advantage. We all know that this happens far too often. Not saying that that is you.
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