JS17 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 I very recently decided that my ex took a year of my life and I was not going to let him take any more of it. He's found the woman of his dreams, why shouldn't I find the man of mine? So, it was time for me to start dating again. Only problem now? I'm not getting hit on! Guys are still looking at me on the street so I know I haven't gotten ugly overnight but I haven't been approached by anyone recently. I've never really had a shortage of guys that were interested in me before and I don't know whether I'm just in a slump or if I'm sending out a vibe that I'm not "available". How do I know and what can I do to change it? Any advice?
Opium Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 A lot of eye contact is what I do to get those good looking fellows to notice me. If you go to a club and you're dancing with some friends and you spot a guy looking at you dancing, give a little "show" and give him some nice looks that tell him "hey come and get me". Those days were so much fun but of course I have a man now so my single days are over (not that I miss them). Are you a shy person? If you are, maybe that's what's happening, you're coming of as not interested because you seem a little shy.
Author JS17 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 Hmmm, I guess I can be a little shy but my friends will most likely laugh if they heard me say that. I guess I just haven't seen anyone that interests me. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places....
Opium Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 Hmmm, I guess I can be a little shy but my friends will most likely laugh if they heard me say that. I guess I just haven't seen anyone that interests me. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places.... Probably, or maybe you're looking to hard! Sometimes when you don't put to much thought or effort into something it comes out better, when you least expect it, someone will sweep you off your feet. Those things just takes time and now that you're finally opening up again to dating, it's a challenge.
Author JS17 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 I'm impatient I always hear both sides....if you don't put yourself out there you'll never find someone AND it always happens when you're not looking. In my past experience, I've found it doing both.
alphamale Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 just dress provocativately and more dudes will slither on by....you know, short skirt, heels, tight top that shows cleavage, etc.... you know the drill JS17
Art_Critic Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Just change something about yourself to make yourself feel better.. Maybe a new hairstyle or a few new clothes.. The more confidence you exude the more heads will turn
Opium Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale just dress provocativately and more dudes will slither on by....you know, short skirt, heels, tight top that shows cleavage, etc.... you know the drill JS17 She wants to come off as a lady with sex appeal not a slut ready to bang at the whistle of a man. J/K Alpha! But he has a point, dress up more, sexy but NOT slutty! Confidence too! If you walk around with your head up showing you feel good about your looks works every time.
Author JS17 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 I think I'm pretty confident (I think ) and there's really not much I want to change about my physical appearance. I'm not going to dress like a total whore. Besides, they all look, that's not my problem, it's just that nobody seems to be approaching. *sigh*
animo Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Ever thought of taking charge? ^^ This is something each and every guy has to learn... did you know that? Did you know that each and every guy needs to grow a pair and face being shot down in the most horrible ways imaginable, doesn't even matter if he feels down or lonely, he just needs to doing and don't whine about it DAMNIT!! I know this isn't regular procedure but well... Maybe if you're inpatient and you want to date guys and they aren't growing that pair, neglecting all their insecurities, fear and emotions... well maybe you could help yourself a little and you go talk to a guy? It's just an idea, i know it's hard and probably the last thing you want to do but hey... Welcome to the world each and every guy lives in ever day No seriously, there are plenty of things you can do to lure guys out of their shells. And also you have to remember that some guys just fail to grown that pair and won't come over to talk to you even if you are BLATANTLY CLEAR about your intentions and intrest... Subconsiously, guys look for signs your sending him, this won't be just one thing but a string of things. Some guys are blind to these signs, like i mentioned, but some aren't and will come over to chat if you signal them. Make eyecontact a few times, when they look back at you, you hold for just a second and then break off, look down before you look away. This basically tells him that you are susceptable to being talked to and won't eat him alive if he does. There is other stuff you can do like turn your body towards him, whe he looks at you just 'smile' in a female manner (other then a polite smile ie). change to an open posture (arms to you side, legs next to eachother firmly on the floor) this basically shows you are 'open'. Now like i said some guys won't even notice this, some will get a hint form their brain that you are intrested but chicken out and ignore you...and some will notice consiously or subconsiously and come over to talk to you, maybe even ask you out
morrigan Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Confidence, eye contact, and giving men you find attractive a smile is always appreciated. Also, even if you're out with friends, don't hang out with them all night, a lot of men are scared of approaching a large horde of females. Would you go up to a crowded table of guys? I agree with Animo--if you see a man you're attracted to, ask him out. Many men are just as afraid of rejection as women, and very flattered when they are asked out for a change. If they turn you down, big deal. It's not like you haven't ever turned down a guy before. Everyone has different types of people they're attracted to. Is there any particular style of music or band you like? Go to their shows--strike up a conversation with a guy about that band and other similar music. It's like anything else, it takes time, you might find a great person when you least expec to.
sparticuss Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 I So, it was time for me to start dating again. Only problem now? I'm not getting hit on! ? Under a whole new petheora of stalking and harrrassment laws it's now illegal for a guy to hit on you. Even without those laws have a look at some of the spiteful digs that have been taken at the Adrmiral when he's discussed ways of "hittting on " girls. So forget about being "hit on". It aint gonna happen. Yovue gotta hit on the guys now. Welcome to true equality.
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Good that you're moving on, JS. How do you approach guys? Are you your normal friendly, flirty self, or are you holding back a bit?
Author JS17 Posted January 3, 2006 Author Posted January 3, 2006 Thanks RR. This was from August. Sparticuss is just pulling up my old threads and making comments for fun. He's a class act.
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 3, 2006 Posted January 3, 2006 Thanks RR. This was from August. Sparticuss is just pulling up my old threads and making comments for fun. He's a class act. Ooooh, yes, sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Blame it on the after effects of new year celebrations Less of a class act and more of a cl*sshole... time for Johan to appear and banish him to the dunce bench
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