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Is telling a guy he is intimidating a turn off?


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Posted

Guys would you be put off if a woman told you that you are intimidating? It's been said to me before and I've just laughed it off but is it different when a woman says it? Are we supposed to act 100% confident all the time in the beginning?

Posted
Guys would you be put off if a woman told you that you are intimidating? It's been said to me before and I've just laughed it off but is it different when a woman says it? Are we supposed to act 100% confident all the time in the beginning?

 

Put off, no. A little worried about the perception, yes. Being seen as intimidating is rarely a good thing. It speaks of control, intransigence, meanness, stand-offish...I would not be pleased with such an assessment of me.

Posted
Guys would you be put off if a woman told you that you are intimidating? It's been said to me before and I've just laughed it off but is it different when a woman says it? Are we supposed to act 100% confident all the time in the beginning?

no, I would take it as a compliment

Posted

"Act" naw... Personally, I have always found being genuine is the best bet.

 

Being fake never starts anything good.

 

So why are you intimidated by him? Explore why, and perhaps you can have a meaningful conversation, rather than being fake or playing games.

Posted

one should be a little intimidated by their partner

  • Author
Posted
Put off, no. A little worried about the perception, yes. Being seen as intimidating is rarely a good thing. It speaks of control, intransigence, meanness, stand-offish...I would not be pleased with such an assessment of me.

 

Not the context I meant it in. More-so, this guy looks like he stepped out of a GQ magazine which intimidates me.

Posted
Not the context I meant it in. More-so, this guy looks like he stepped out of a GQ magazine which intimidates me.

being intimidated by beauty is natural and normal

Posted
Not the context I meant it in. More-so, this guy looks like he stepped out of a GQ magazine which intimidates me.

 

Ah. Okay. That's different. You intimidation is complimentary for him, but a sign of insecurity for you. I would see that as a compliment, but try to assure you that I am much more approachable than my appearance may suggest.

Posted

Don't tell a guy he's intimidating. Don't be intimidated by a guy. Knock him off the pedestal. He's just a skin, bones, flesh, and other junk that happens to be arranged in a pleasing manner.

Posted

In the days when I heard that, it was more confusing to me than anything.

 

And yeah, sort of a turn off. I want a strong, mature, adult, partner, not one who gets scared of things or non-threatening people easily. I don't want to have to hold someone's hand while they acclimate.

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Posted

I don't like to hear I'm intimidating.

 

It makes me think I'm not treating someone correctly and that they don't trust my self-control.

Posted

I think if you're going to use the word, you need to back it up somehow that you're just simply nervous as hell...like a boss is intimidating or a circumstance is intimidating, but overall, it's all good.

 

Overall, I would not use the word. Or don't say he's intimidatING, but that you're intimidatED, and say so in a playful manner because you're both nervous, and he may not be exhibiting it, but you know you're both in the same boat.

 

Sometimes it's best to stay away from words that can be stronger or have more negative connotations. Being intimidating is not necessarily the best description of someone. It can have many meanings and a lot of gray areas, but overall, it's fear. You fear this person. An intimidating person could be mean, cruel, a menace, frightening, and uncaring.

 

You avoid the word "hate." How often have you encountered someone who "hates" everything. They come off as judgmental, critical, unbending, and rigid. With your best friend, you probably don't think anything about them "hating everything," or use of the word, but with someone you don't know that well, it's just not a good personality trait.

 

In a new relationship, you step on some eggshells...a lot.

 

If the reason you're asking this question about use of this word is because you have been met with a negative response in using the word, and perhaps more than once, I suggest you just lay off that particular word, and go for something softer, like "nervous." Basically, don't point fingers...you're nervous, he's not a monster causing it. Later on, when you've gone out a few times, you can share that you found him intimidating (in a good way...just so handsome or he has a strong and confident personality) or you were intimidated...you'll both get a laugh.

 

The word itself has a stronger negative connotation and has an easier time being taken out of context, so judge the situation on its use.

 

As an aside, I have a couple of coworkers who were recently seeking some extra responsibilities and a climb up the ladder, who had to go through interviewing, and they talked about how intimidating the interviewer was and how intimidating the process was...this is normal. Being in fear of your date is not.

Posted

Whenever I’d be intimidated by a person or situation my aunt would always tell me “remember, everyone wipes their a**” and then my fears would subside. But let’s be real some situations are harder to get over. I think being upfront and addressing your concerns comes off as confident because it shows what you want and expect out of a relationship.

Posted

Nothing wrong with flattering a guy once and a while if genuine. We love it but our heads can only get so big.

 

You risk giving him too much power and the upper hand in the relationship if you tell him he's so hot he's intimidating. When you do that you lower your inherent value (your lucky to have him syndrome) giving him leave to take more risks with your emotions which you may not be in favor of.

Posted

I guess if the woman during sex tells you she never got an organism with you then this comment would come out. My stamina is stronger but if I don't release she gets upset saying what's wrong with me, it's really her that is the issue. I guess now I get this comment. Women today you can't please during sex, and if they want you to last longer they have a comment. To me it's all about movement of it..

Posted
I guess if the woman during sex tells you she never got an organism with you then this comment would come out. My stamina is stronger but if I don't release she gets upset saying what's wrong with me, it's really her that is the issue. ..

 

hahaha solid post coolheadal!!!xD Agreed

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