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Posted

I recently discovered my wife of over 12 years (together almost 20 years) had been exchanging private messages on social media with ex from many many years ago . This was going on for almost a year and some messages contained explicit cyber sex conversations. She had also been calling him up secretly but only to chat about how their lives had turned out etc etc.

She says she never ever had any intention of physically meeting up and that what she did wasn’t quite as bad as cheatingin the traditional senses o my question is, did she cheat or have an affair?

Posted

This kind of cheating is commonly called an "emotional affair".

 

Most people regard this as totally unacceptable in a relationship.

 

She said it's "not quite as bad" as a physical affair, so she does admit that it was bad.

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Posted

Defiantly emotional cheating and since it went on for over a year, I'd say it was as bad or worse than physical cheating one time. It's one thing to send an ex a couple of flirty texts, but to have it going on for so long is very troubling. You might want to find out exactly why she was doing this. Had your relationship turned stale? Issues over the last year or so?

 

Bottom line, I consider it cheating and a deal breaker.

Posted
I recently discovered my wife of over 12 years (together almost 20 years) had been exchanging private messages on social media with ex from many many years ago . This was going on for almost a year and some messages contained explicit cyber sex conversations. She had also been calling him up secretly but only to chat about how their lives had turned out etc etc.

She says she never ever had any intention of physically meeting up and that what she did wasn’t quite as bad as cheatingin the traditional senses o my question is, did she cheat or have an affair?

 

Hi Scottishman,

 

This is totally 100 percent an emotional affair - no two ways about it.

 

You say your wife had been exchanging "private messages" ... why are they private - something she didn't want you to see?

 

So, some messages contained explicit cyber sex conversations - yep, an emotional affair.

 

She has also been calling him up secretly - ditto, an emotional affair.

 

The calls were only to chat about how their lives had turned out - do you actually believe this, bearing in mind explicit cyber sex conversations had been made? I don't believe this for one minute!

 

So, yes, she may not have cheated in the physical sense but EMOTIONALLY she has - everything was done in private between the two of them without your knowledge.

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