guest569 Posted October 27, 2017 Posted October 27, 2017 But about the first part, that's all I feel I can do now really. Just to be more aware of how she interacts with him and do more for her attention to be on me. You shouldn't have to struggle for her attention. Since talking to her, I would just drop the subject but observe closely. It wouldn't sit well with me and I don't think you are being paranoid - she was in love with him and blatantly flirting with him in front of you. If this behaviour continues I recommend getting out rather than fighting for her attention and putting yourself through that.
KBob Posted October 27, 2017 Posted October 27, 2017 Do you know what the nature of these regular talk/text conversations between them is? Are they flirty at all? I feel like your answer will be there. She's not in love with this guy anymore but want to talk to him all the time? Please.
salparadise Posted October 27, 2017 Posted October 27, 2017 She's not in love with this guy anymore but want to talk to him all the time? Please. Yea, something isn't right here. Actual motivations may be beneath the surface, with a more socially acceptable veneer layered over for general consumption and to avoid dealing with her own feelings. But you don't need to analyze anything to know that it's highly irregular, or how it makes you feel... double dating with her being fixated on him the whole time. Ugh. Your relationship has a third party in the middle of it. She isn't going to change how she feels (even if it were possible) to make things more congruent for you. She's wants you to accept this guy, former lover or whatever, as the third corner in a triangular situation that titillates her emotionally. It's never going to feel like a 1:1 relationship, you're never going feel exclusive. And you'll always be wondering what and how much she's sharing, not to mention the divided attention... of course, if you ever wonder how she feels about you, you'll know who to ask! 2
Lattes4Days Posted October 27, 2017 Posted October 27, 2017 That sounds incredibly awkward. First of all, she shouldn't be texting him regularly. Second of all, what kind of best friends are they if they're not even respecting each other's feelings? One of them is texting the other's boyfriend every day, and the other one decided it would be a good idea to date the person she's in love with? Wow, that's some tone-deaf friendship. This wont end well. You have every right to feel weird about this. She's too close to him and yes there are definitely feelings there, on both ends (his too). I would feel insulted if I were you, if some guy behaved that way on a date with another woman, regardless if they were "just friends", yeah like I haven't heard that excuse before. Call me old fashioned but any time I've ever stayed friends with someone I used to be in love with - it was because I was still in love with them. 1
guest569 Posted October 27, 2017 Posted October 27, 2017 Yea, something isn't right here. Actual motivations may be beneath the surface, with a more socially acceptable veneer layered over for general consumption and to avoid dealing with her own feelings. But you don't need to analyze anything to know that it's highly irregular, or how it makes you feel... double dating with her being fixated on him the whole time. Ugh. Your relationship has a third party in the middle of it. She isn't going to change how she feels (even if it were possible) to make things more congruent for you. She's wants you to accept this guy, former lover or whatever, as the third corner in a triangular situation that titillates her emotionally. It's never going to feel like a 1:1 relationship, you're never going feel exclusive. And you'll always be wondering what and how much she's sharing, not to mention the divided attention... of course, if you ever wonder how she feels about you, you'll know who to ask! Damn this sounds so familiar to me. Don't put yourself through this rubbish OP!
Recommended Posts