Mememe3 Posted October 24, 2017 Posted October 24, 2017 I have to disagree with a lot of these comments. No, I don't think she just used you for sex. Yes, I think she still likes you a lot. In my experience, this has happened with me. I met a guy, first date we had sex, and while I had wanted to...the next day I felt like things were going so fast. My feelings originated from me usually not getting along with people very well, so quickly. It takes me a long time to warm up to people, and I was scared with how much I liked him. So I wanted to take things slower, and find control, and make sure things went smoothly because my last relationship was a mess because neither of us had any control. I think she's doing this because she wants to take time to really get to know you. She likes you a lot, so she wants to make sure that you're really someone she wants to be with possibly long term. I would respect her wishes, and go easy. Just have some easy, casual dates in public. Text her regularly but not too much. Give her some time. Don't push things or push her away, unless you change your mind about her. She's really something special and definitely likes you back. She just wants things to be real. That's a good sign. 3
kendahke Posted October 24, 2017 Posted October 24, 2017 She works evenings and doesn't get off until 11 but as a general rule I think you're right. Yeah, I used to work nights myself... and I wouldn't call or hang out with men who didn't work the same hours for the very reason that by midnight they were in bed or asleep; and in calling them, I'd looking to be climbing into bed with them. This was your first ever meeting face to face with her, right? I have nothing against her coming over to smash just as long as she didn't try twisting it up later to make it seem like a mistake when she was all over you like a squid within 30 seconds of sitting down. That's a tall leap over credibility to make, that's all I'm saying. 1
TheFinalWord Posted October 24, 2017 Posted October 24, 2017 Texted a girl I met online for a few weeks, she was patient in meeting up and said she had a cold. I just wanted maybe a dinner date but was totally cool with her taking her time. She asked a few days ago if she could come over and watch a basketball game with me and cuddle but not have sex because she thinks we could have something special and doesn't want it to be just sex. I said sure. Well we were making out and she was on top of me within literally 30 seconds of sitting down. I asked if she wanted to go upstairs. We did, things progressed, and we had sex all night. We were very sweet together, and having just divorced and been through a lot this year, it was really special to me how we were. She expressed to me how special it was to her, as well. I've been trying to make a date since. Last night she explained she's feeling bad about herself having sex so soon and that she needs us to slow down. She said we could text and date "here and there" and she needs us to slow down. When I said we could just chill and watch movies with strictly no sex, she said she thinks if we're alone together then she'll end up having sex with me. I'm trying to understand this, fearing she might have met me and decided she didn't like me as much as she says. She still says she really likes me, she wants to see where we go, and she has texted me throughout the day telling me about work and periodically asking how my day's going. I will slow down because this girl is really something special---we have so much in common that we were both amazed we found each other---but I worry I'm getting let down softly or that I'm friend zoned. I recognize the divorce has accustomed me to rejection and to expecting the worst case scenario. I feel horrible that I didn't try to resist having sex that night because everyone has complexities under the hood, and if I have to be an advocate for her wishes and defend her wishes even from her from time to time, then I'm willing to take that on if it maximizes our chances of progressing and giving things a real try. Looking back I realize she needed to not have sex, and that she needed me to be the strong one when we got caught up in finally seeing one another after weeks of perfect dialogue. Anyway I'd love to hear opinions or experiences. She's playing games. She knew you would have sex, but a lot of times women don't like to think of themselves as giving it up so easily, so they will play word games. If you want my opinion, she just wanted a one night stand. I hope it works out for you, but it's hard to go backwards physically. 2
LadyAndTheChamp Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 She's just trying to not look like a slut, all girls do that to protect themselves. Simply call her up and be straight up. mode 1 i like to call it and say look... Regardless of what happened when we hung out, although i don't take anything or regret anything that happened, i don't look at you in a less or more light because of it. Either way, i still want to kick it with you and maybe just go out to bowl & catch a drink. Your a pretty cool chick, i don't think of you in any way because of it, i just want to get to know you more, that do you think? THIS WAY: You take responsibility for what happened (girls never want to) They want to have sex, but not actually take responsibility for it.. Don't overthink it, most of these people don't know what they're talking about. Your on the right tracks my man. Submitted by: TheChamp Approved by: Thelady -TheLadyAndTheChamp 3
Author MisshapenCloud Posted November 8, 2017 Author Posted November 8, 2017 Thread update: So we went on the date she was hoping for, we had sex again that night, and now we are all but inseparable. I stayed disciplined, positive, and patient; and now we're seeing one another practically every day for sex and hanging out, and we're also now spending nights. We have so much in common that fitting together now seems incredibly natural since her wall went down, and the thing that made me feel like it was appropriate to update this thread is that today she casually responded to me playfully resisting her buying our breakfast by saying to me "that's what couples do." Her calling us a couple felt like a capstone. Are things going fast? They are, especially considering the thread was about "going slow". But it feels natural, and as long as we're both enjoying we'll see where things go. 2
Logo Posted November 8, 2017 Posted November 8, 2017 Thread update: So we went on the date she was hoping for, we had sex again that night, and now we are all but inseparable. I stayed disciplined, positive, and patient; and now we're seeing one another practically every day for sex and hanging out, and we're also now spending nights. We have so much in common that fitting together now seems incredibly natural since her wall went down, and the thing that made me feel like it was appropriate to update this thread is that today she casually responded to me playfully resisting her buying our breakfast by saying to me "that's what couples do." Her calling us a couple felt like a capstone. Are things going fast? They are, especially considering the thread was about "going slow". But it feels natural, and as long as we're both enjoying we'll see where things go. I’m curious. Did you use any of the tips posted here? The cynic in me wants to know how the relationship made a 180?
William Posted November 8, 2017 Posted November 8, 2017 Moderator bump due to this thread getting unapproved yesterday evening during a spam cleanup. Please continue!
Author MisshapenCloud Posted November 12, 2017 Author Posted November 12, 2017 I’m curious. Did you use any of the tips posted here? The cynic in me wants to know how the relationship made a 180? Her relative lack of long term relationships suggested trust issues rather than keeping me on the back burner, so I decided to mask frustrations with pacing and focus on the time and sincerity she devoted to our conversations. I also decided that we catch no fish with pulled up hooks, and there wasn't any reason to take dismissive action without a new lead anyway. I slightly adjusted my conversational input where so often I would say "I'm really excited to take you out..." This broadcast that I am good with sexless dates but the endless texting gives me a weird feeling. She then promised a date night a few days ahead of time. I was happy to wait. Our date went perfectly with her laughing and blushing over her flowers on the dinner table. Afterwards, on my living room couch, she quickly again jettisoned her no sex rule. This all was very much the final crack in the dam. Now every other night we sleep over. She's asking for grocery lists and telling her family and coworkers about me. I've really just tried to keep a perfect record in how I treat her. If something else had come along then I might've moved on, but things are going well enough now I'm pretty content in this present delineation.
KBob Posted November 12, 2017 Posted November 12, 2017 I had this kind of thing happen to me before. I met a woman at my friends cabin during a weekend trip. We had sex every night there and I gave her a ride home at the end of the weekend. We set up a date for the next weekend, which turned out to be a the last night of a long weekend, so nothing was open. I suggested watching a movie at my place or going out for a drink and she started stalling, which then turned into claiming I only wanted to have sex with her, which then further devolved into me not acting interested enough in her during the weekend we met. Beware of women who want to go backwards, there's underlying issues behind their reasons.
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