My_TLove Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 My ex boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He said I wasn't happy and he was depressed and just couldn't do it anymore. We had gotten into a fight earlier that day in which I told him if he couldn't be in the relationship I couldn't do this anymore. In the prior month, I'd told him that a couple of times. I didn't want to end things but I was frustrated. He was frustrated and we weren't talking about our frustrations. We weren't having sex very often, he felt I didn't touch him, I didn't say I loved him enough. But, I did love him and I thought I showed it by cooking him dinner, listening to what he was saying, laying with him on the couch, making plans with him. Anyways, he told some friends that he felt we had grown apart and he didn't know how to fix it. This was two days before he asked for his stuff back and a week after the breakup. He came and got his stuff while I was at work. He hasn't spoken to me and any attempt to get him to he won't say no but won't say yes. So I decided to go to his house to talk. There was another car there. I had a feeling it was a girl. I went over again and the car was gone. The next day, I went crazy with jealousy. I just knew he had someone else. I started sending him texts and calling him. I then seen him out driving her car. I won't make excuses for my actions but I drove by his house just to see if my suspicions were correct. He has started dating someone else in 2 weeks time. He finally sent me a text saying it was over and while he wishes me the best, he can't do this with me. For no reason should I drive by his house or call him. What he does in his personal life is none of my business. He has blocked my number and blocked me on social media. I can't believe our time together means nothing to him now. Despite all this, I want him back. I want him to give me a second chance. We were really good together until the last couple of months. There were multiple reasons but I think we could work on those if he just wants too. Is there anything I can do or any reason to think he may change his mind?
Buriall Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 Listen as much as you want this to work he has already checked out. Matter of fact he might have been talking to this girl behind your back? As much as you want this to work he has shut down your efforts to do so. He doesn't want it. Leave it at that and start moving on
Zahara Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 Anyways, he told some friends that he felt we had grown apart and he didn't know how to fix it. Unfortunately, he has checked out of the relationship, and this was likely happening a while ago. This girl was likely in the picture even before the break-up happened. He finally pulled the trigger two weeks ago. Despite all this, I want him back. I want him to give me a second chance. We were really good together until the last couple of months. There were multiple reasons but I think we could work on those if he just wants too. Is there anything I can do or any reason to think he may change his mind? I don't believe you can do anything to change his mind. It looks like he is moving on. Yes, you were really good together until the last couple of months -- unfortunately relationships end. It takes two to make it work and if he doesn't see it or value it, then you have to let it go.
Highndry Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 It's over. There's absolutely nothing you can do or say. In fact, continuing to contact him is only going to cement that fact. The best thing to do is sever all ties and perhaps, down the road, he'll miss you and what you had. I wouldn't count on it, though.
ToGoFruit Posted October 24, 2017 Posted October 24, 2017 My ex boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He said I wasn't happy and he was depressed and just couldn't do it anymore. We had gotten into a fight earlier that day in which I told him if he couldn't be in the relationship I couldn't do this anymore. In the prior month, I'd told him that a couple of times. I didn't want to end things but I was frustrated. He was frustrated and we weren't talking about our frustrations. We weren't having sex very often, he felt I didn't touch him, I didn't say I loved him enough. But, I did love him and I thought I showed it by cooking him dinner, listening to what he was saying, laying with him on the couch, making plans with him. Anyways, he told some friends that he felt we had grown apart and he didn't know how to fix it. This was two days before he asked for his stuff back and a week after the breakup. He came and got his stuff while I was at work. He hasn't spoken to me and any attempt to get him to he won't say no but won't say yes. So I decided to go to his house to talk. There was another car there. I had a feeling it was a girl. I went over again and the car was gone. The next day, I went crazy with jealousy. I just knew he had someone else. I started sending him texts and calling him. I then seen him out driving her car. I won't make excuses for my actions but I drove by his house just to see if my suspicions were correct. He has started dating someone else in 2 weeks time. He finally sent me a text saying it was over and while he wishes me the best, he can't do this with me. For no reason should I drive by his house or call him. What he does in his personal life is none of my business. He has blocked my number and blocked me on social media. I can't believe our time together means nothing to him now. Despite all this, I want him back. I want him to give me a second chance. We were really good together until the last couple of months. There were multiple reasons but I think we could work on those if he just wants too. Is there anything I can do or any reason to think he may change his mind? I think continuing to go down this path of a possible rekindling is going to end up wounding you even more. There might have been a way for this to play out more amicably, but that's not the case anymore. My concern with your continued pursuit is that you'll end up hurt with a deeper level of anger and confusion. I think the wisest thing to do is step away and allow yourself to gain some clarity with distance. I'm so sorry for how abrupt this all feels and for the internal toll it takes on you. I'm hoping for a sense of peace and healing coming your way!
Trust666 Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 I am going through something similar, my ex suddenly left me for someone else. Go no contact and begin the process of moving on, you're on your own now. It's hard to accept, I know, but once someone checks out and moves on it's over for the immediate if not indefinite future. I am sorry you are experiencing this right now, and I understand it really hurts and is quite confusing and even seems like a horrible way to end things. I think one day you may look back and realize you will be better off, but to start to get to that point you need to let go, promise to not contact him or allow contact and begin working towards something new. Best of luck, and hang in there...being rejected and replaced is going to take a bit of work to get through.
OneLov Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 There’s about as many things you can do that I can to make you realize you are worth more than this. However, I know in time that you will find this truth evident. We only get so many trips around this star—the Sun. It goes by too goddamn quick. I hope you find a reason to change your mind in time. I’m sorry for your loss; I hope you find peace and strength.
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