room101 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Hey, my gf of 7 months split up with me the other day. We r still gonna be best friends but i still love her - do u think i have a chance of getting her back? Is it too soon to try now? I would really appreciate any suggestions on how i could get herback and how to go about it.
lindya Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 If she wanted space or prefers to be "just friends", then it's pointless trying to get back with her or giving up big chunks of time to being her friend. Be friendly if you bump into her, but keep it short. Focus on keeping her out of your mind and get on with your life. Any moves to get back together would have to come from her. If she split up with you because you upset her in some way, then that might be different...but in that situation I'd be guessing that the two of you wouldn't still be best of friends.
Author room101 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 i know that might sound best but i cant give up on her - we have been through so much - and i mean serious stuff, it just seems such a shame to let the time we had together end and throw it all away. recent times have been more difficult due to circumstances no-one could have seen and i just wish we could have a chance to make it work again. sure she said she would rather be friends right now but i really want to make this work.
lindya Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by room101 i know that might sound best but i cant give up on her - we have been through so much - and i mean serious stuff, it just seems such a shame to let the time we had together end and throw it all away. recent times have been more difficult due to circumstances no-one could have seen and i just wish we could have a chance to make it work again. sure she said she would rather be friends right now but i really want to make this work. I totally appreciate and sympathise with what you're saying. Problems have developed, and you'd like to work through them rather than simply bail out of an important relationship. If both of you feel like that, then it's often possible to reconcile your differences. It's far less promising, however, when only one person is committed to trying to work through the problems. Set yourself up as that person, and you could end up feeling a lot of frustration, distress and resentment.
alphamale Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by room101 We r still gonna be best friends but i still love her - do u think i have a chance of getting her back? The only chance you have of getting her back is to have total, utter and complete No Contact (NC) with her. Being "friends" is a real bad idea. You must not see her or talk to her or anything for a few months and then she will most likely come crawling back on her hands and knees. If you stay "friends" with her then why would she want you back as her b/f?
Author room101 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 well we were friends before we started dating so im guessing that there is always a chance. anyway, do u think sooner is best rather than later so if things dont go as i hope they do, at least i wont have messed up our friendship for further time. if things dont go according to plan then at least i know nothing more can happen right?!
lvgrly Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 I would let some time pass, and maybe she will realize that she wants you back..Maybe she will miss you more than what she thought she would. Only time will tell.. I dont think you should try to rush back into anything right now.. Because there is a reason as to why she broke up with you. So all you can do is respect that.
Author room101 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 yeah i will try to give it a whlie but i dont know how easy that is gonna be. i am gonna see her almost every day as we go to the same uni - i think i may just try and talk to her, ask if she can see their being an us again in the future so i know whether i should try to get her back or whether i should try and get over her. but i dont know if that will be easy, shes pretty unforgettable!
Natalie21 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 I'm in the exact same situation. I just broke up with my bf of 7 months a few days ago & I gave my bf the same reasons that ur gf gave u. Things weren't working out the way I wanted so I thought some space would do us good, but the truth is I can't stop thinking about him & wish I didn't. Sometimes women say things they don't mean in the heat of the moment to try & get the outcome they want. In ur case maybe ur gf wants to be sure that u love her enough not to give her up without a fight. Right now I'm just hoping my guy will make contact & tell me that he wants to work things out so maybe ur gf's feeling the same way. In my opinion I wish I'd hear from him sooner rather than later. Who knows how she'll be feeling if she hasn't heard from u in a while & then u make contact when it's too late & she feels differently. I think u should try one last time asap after all u have nothing to lose & u may regret it later. At least then you'll know u tried & the ball will be in her court. Good luck!
upsetnhurt Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Natalie, Why wait for the guy? You broke it off......don't you think you should be adult enough to try to fix it?
J dub Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by Natalie21 Right now I'm just hoping my guy will make contact & tell me that he wants to work things out [/b] You dumped him, and you want HIM to come crawling to you? Read this http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t68943/ thread on second chances topic and you'll see that there is a 99.99% chance you'll never see your guy again if you sit around waiting for him to make a move. When you dump someone, its all in your court. Balls to the walls. Room101 -- you can have a friendship with this girl LATER. Right now, you need to focus on fixing your heart, and keeping her around is only going to continue turning the knife and making you worse. If you dont cut her off and make her genuinely MISS you, you can kiss your relationship goodbye forever.
Natalie21 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 I did try but he was too angry & didn't want to talk about it so I'm hoping he'll accept my apology & come around when he's calmed down.
Author room101 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 ok well i decided to take a mix of advice really and throw them all together - i asked her if she could see afuture for us and pretty much got shot down. that ever welcome - id rather we were friends comment appeared and i guess that is an end to that...for now?! i dont know.
Author room101 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 ok well i decided to take a mix of advice really and throw them all together - i asked her if she could see afuture for us and pretty much got shot down. that ever welcome - id rather we were friends comment appeared and i guess that is an end to that...for now?! i dont know. i only asked cos we were talking freely and it was like it was a while ago but it seems that she has really moved on. gutted! anyway, so that was one chunk of advice followed - i think now i might try and put a little distance between us and see if she does miss me and if it was just some random temporary change of feelings or something - who knows what anyone is thinking! anyway if that doesnt work then i guess i pretty much should try and move past it knowing my luck, the second i am getting there she will say something and i will be right back where i started...thank god love isnt easy eh!
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