Notsurewhat83 Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 (edited) Me an partner (well ex) well.. I dont know anymore. We are both towards 30, we broke up after going through a bad patch but the weird thing is everytime I went round for my things the spark was still there for both of us. I asked her why we are breaking up and she says it became too stressful. Anyway for me it's extremely weird that since we broke up she's posting memes etc everyday about moving on and being strong to which obviously all her friends respond. I asked her about these as I've not done 1 thing like that and she says they aren't about me they're about work & other things. Hmm.. I suddenly feel like I can't figure this woman out. We meet and she's all over me, kiss, etc and yesterday we went for a coffee and spent the day together where she's hugging me, wanting to hold my hand around the shops, telling me she still loves me, dropped her off and we kiss and text. but then there's these confusing conflicting signs, the memes continue but I'm wondering if it's because of her friends, she is extremely soft and doesn't like her friends thinking she's soft there seems to be only me who knows this about her. I find it hard that she portrays this image all the time like she worries more about what her friends think about her relationship than us. Now as you can probably tell I'm extremely confused and don't know what To do. It's been going on a while now where we seem to be amazing for maybe a month or 2, then it suddenly disapates & she hardly speaks to me like there's some wall up. Today for example I've heard nothing from her all day. Yet yesterday we had a nice day together. I never seem to know from 1 day to the next if we are even together anymore and if I ever bring the question up it annoys her. I've been advised by mates to hold back, go slow and just have some fun with her for a bit, remind her what it's like to be with me without constantly asking her if we are together and other mates have told me to be strong, tell her I want to know where I stand... so as you can see even the advice is conflicting Edited October 23, 2017 by Notsurewhat83
BaileyB Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 This woman is all drama and quite frankly, she is too old for this kind of behavior. I would have no patience with this. Why are you continuing to spend time and "date" this woman if she broke up with you and she is posting meme's about being strong and moving on... I don't get it either.
Zahara Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 When someone breaks up with you, let them go. Walk away. Don't sit around desperately gobbling up breadcrumbs. All you're doing is being an emotional crutch for her while she transitions to singledom. Dumpers are more than happy to have a dumpee still feed their ego and needs/wants while they get through the break-up phase. That is what you are to her. She picks you up and when she needs you and drops you when she doesn't. She's keeping you on the backburner while she moves on. Stop being in contact with her. Find your dignity and cut her out. If she wants you, she'll come to you. 1
Author Notsurewhat83 Posted October 23, 2017 Author Posted October 23, 2017 I agree about finding dignity but as we spent yesterday together if she texts today to say how have you been? What am I meant to do? Cut her off?. Feel I'd be better responding and letting her come to me
Author Notsurewhat83 Posted October 23, 2017 Author Posted October 23, 2017 The worst part is she still has photos of us up in her house, still has the presents I bought her and still wears keyrings everything to do with us then says shes fine. Don't know if she just hates admitting she misses someone now the walls up
Zahara Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 (edited) I agree about finding dignity but as we spent yesterday together if she texts today to say how have you been? What am I meant to do? Cut her off?. Feel I'd be better responding and letting her come to me It's a break-up. She doesn't get to break-up with you and keep you on the side on her terms. A break-up means that one or two people are ending a relationship and moving on because one or both aren't invested anymore in the relationship. When she contacts her, you tell her that you are honoring her request for a break up and that you now need to go NC. You tell her if she wants to work on the relationship then you are more than willing to reconcile. You tell her she should only contact you if she wants to get back together and not to contact you otherwise. That is the healthy thing to do. Then you go NC. She will either come to you or she won't. Either way, you get an answer. If you want to respond, then stay in limbo. No one can help you if you chose not to help yourself. Edited October 23, 2017 by Zahara
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