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Why did my boyfriend just start being controlling?


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Posted

I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months but we've known each other for two years and used to be friends. We are both in college but transferred from other universities a few years ago. He told me he will be hanging out with friends two weekends from now and I told him that I'm going to go back to see friends at my previous college. I had a pretty wild phase at my old school and my boyfriend is aware of that. We both can be pretty possessive at times but today he told me I'm not ALLOWED to go back to my old school because he's worried I'll get drunk and do something stupid. I understand his concern but he should know and does know that I love him and only him. Anyway, am I wrong for thinking this is crossing the line? I don't like being told what I can or cannot do but maybe it's just part of a relationship?

Posted

Expressing a preference is normal. But thinking that you can tell your partner what they can and cannot do is not acceptable.

Posted

Yea he is being controlling. He needs to trust you that you're over that phase. If he had a problem with your past and didnt think he could trust you fully (which is the case) he shouldn't have dated you but you dont date someone and dictate where they can go. Wrong.

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Posted

There are times that I think about his past but I don't outwardly hold it against him since we didn't know each other back then. The longer we are in a relationship, I feel like the more he gets like this. I've never told him he cannot do something

Posted
There are times that I think about his past but I don't outwardly hold it against him since we didn't know each other back then. The longer we are in a relationship, I feel like the more he gets like this. I've never told him he cannot do something

 

You ought to know that your past makes a difference. He knows and you admit that you were wild at your other school. The people who participated in that wildness are still there and your bf doesn't trust you enough to think that you will not engage in such behavior again. That simple.

 

Is he being controlling? Yes. Does he trust you? No.

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