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I really lost it today, got so upset with her!

Williamjacob

By Williamjacob
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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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Something tells me that the two of you are made for each other...

 

Good luck.

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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Way I see it, it's not so much that she swears but that she was rude to you when you were just trying to check in. And now you are buying her a ticket?! Have you two corresponded since then? I don't know...I understand you care for her but I think you are wasting your time with this one.

 

I got that ticket this week prior to her birthday this week. I really shouldn't say it was a gift it was a way to show her I wanted her back. Yes she was rude and and I sent a message to her by text saying that and more but, not to overbearing. I had to run to the store low on food again. I got a call coming in on my cell it was her today!

 

The conversation was pleasant, not rude comments or words. She was very nice and sweet. Talked about things in general and was sorry about last night the way she had spoken to me. She's excited about coming home to me. I told her I couldn't wait for you to come back too. Hey I am only human right. I ask her how her mom is doing getting a little better. I am saying no one can change someone bad habits but we can learn form each other.

 

3 more weeks of this she'll be back on the day I am off. She wants to go to Chinese and I had offered her Cheese Cake Factory is the best place in town here, but there are others but might be too over the top. She didn't go out for her birthday.

 

Some of your comments are interesting and well noted. She had mentioned she'll call me later and make a point of it, I hope I am up she's in a different time zone only 1 behind me. This phone call should be example for the rest to them. She wanted to talk and listen as I do with her also. We all should listen to what they say the for them for us men.

 

I'll see what happen in the next 3 week prior to first week of Nov is when she'll arrive.. I'll be there early.. Worst thing is to be late to pick a woman from the airport. No excuse unless the plane was delayed.

Edited by Williamjacob
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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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Way I see it, it's not so much that she swears but that she was rude to you when you were just trying to check in. And now you are buying her a ticket?! Have you two corresponded since then? I don't know...I understand you care for her but I think you are wasting your time with this one.

 

You have point there, but lets see how it plays out. No ticket was purchased not as a gift originally and let me tell you prices were steep like up to $450 just for one way. I found one dirt cheap same airline she has to fly the same one. I guess the baggage are not extra with them. She we have talked today she called me very happy too. I like that way I will not stand for rudeness and swearing there is no need for it today.

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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I haven't heard a word from her since the other day. It's getting worst now with the dying family member. Plus her mom. She's more relax now on the cell. She excited to be with me next money I am counting off the days. No more swearing.. But she's not eating, and I am so worried about her health. I miss her so much but respect her wishes not to text or call her. When she can she'll call me. The waiting is just so unbearable, how do some of you cope with someone you miss so much isn't around you?

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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She called me up and said she was hungry for food, I sent her what I could $26 I am trying to pay off a loan for my condo and owe some money on some charges. I run to the bank pull out the money I text her a message saying I am almost there to Walmart. She starts up bitching at me swearing saying I am acting like a retard.. Because I letting her know where I am and how far I am from the Walmart. I don't know why my eyes were so red. I was so mad at her for saying what she did. I said FORGET IT! I turned around and headed back home she called right away!

 

I was so upset I almost had wreck! Jumpy and shacking like a leaf. How could this woman I would do anything for do this today of all days. Yesterday she called saying her cell phone was turned. I got into my head to merge her cell number into my account and go a good deal on a family plan for the both of us. She kept calling me up saying when are you going to do that. I was doing takes time.

 

Nothing I do for this woman is good enough, she said you better than be in love with me yet! We need more time to be together. If you keep this shxt up I going to fly in and take my car back home to my child house. So she threatening me, saying my fantasizing over her is troubling too her. I am doing that. I was just resting in bed watching internet tv and she calls me up for help. I told her tomorrow she can't wait she's hungry! Now that the money has been sent she can't go get it but tells me thank you. After I lost it on the cell with her

 

@@@DAM-IT, I WOULD DO ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD FOR YOU AND YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS####

 

She told me to calm down, she never seen me like this before. I don't get it with her. I told her I do not love her but I only said that because I say it the way I felt strong feelings with her already because had shared the bed and more. But I am not going to say it to her. Like mentioned on here I should wait for her to say it. She told me once she was going to say but I might over react about it to her. No way..

 

I am not Crazy like her she's trying her best to go under my skin, do person attacks of what I told her about my past and she has it worst than me. When I had type forget! I hung up the cell. She call back so quick and said you hung me up! She has done it to me a few times but really she has some nerve.

 

Now she said lets forget this on move on I'll be with less than 2 weeks. I did buy her the ticket so I know she'll be here very soon. But I am doing the right thing or should I give up hope. I care deeply about her, I like the way she is with when she's nice but not like this. I am calm now and taken a very long drive to buy gas about 11.8 miles each way.

Edited by Williamjacob
basil67 Established Member

basil67

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How could she do this to you? Well, in her mind it's acceptable behaviour and the fact that you haven't dumped her yet shows that you're basically OK with it.

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Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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You seem to love toxic women, from the co-worker from hell, Rene and Lisa. Co-worker and Lisa sound like the same person.

 

Your choices say much about your own dysfunctional mindset. There's a reason you attract these types and stay with them.

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JEG88 Established Member

JEG88

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It does sound like you enjoy the drama in some warped way.

 

I don't know, maybe you subconsciously want validation for what you perceive as above-and-beyond boyfriend behavior. Especially in comparison to when it's not appreciated.

spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

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If you stay with this woman, you are heading into an abusive relationship. In these relationships the person usually has a nice side (the side you fall in love with) and a nasty abusive side. Unfortunately, people are often so captivated by the nice side, they tend to try to minimise the nasty side and put up with things, even though they are often getting worse.

 

This woman has treated you badly, is ungrateful, and when you are upset about being treated badly, instead of apologising for her behaviour she tries to calm you down. She is putting the blame on you - implying you are overwrought rather than that she has behaved badly.

 

Your anger is telling you something, that you are being abused. You need to get out now while you can. She will try to draw you back in with charm, if she senses you have had enough, but don't be fooled. As soon as you are emotionally involved with her again, the abusive side will reappear and you will be back to square one. You are a kind and generous guy who deserves so much better.

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Coffeeguy Member

Coffeeguy

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If you stay with this woman, you are heading into an abusive relationship. In these relationships the person usually has a nice side (the side you fall in love with) and a nasty abusive side. Unfortunately, people are often so captivated by the nice side, they tend to try to minimise the nasty side and put up with things, even though they are often getting worse.

 

This woman has treated you badly, is ungrateful, and when you are upset about being treated badly, instead of apologising for her behaviour she tries to calm you down. She is putting the blame on you - implying you are overwrought rather than that she has behaved badly.

 

Your anger is telling you something, that you are being abused. You need to get out now while you can. She will try to draw you back in with charm, if she senses you have had enough, but don't be fooled. As soon as you are emotionally involved with her again, the abusive side will reappear and you will be back to square one. You are a kind and generous guy who deserves so much better.

 

This is what happened to me as well. She would constantly text me messages to make me feel guilty and I would of course apologize and try to ask what made her think that and now it's an argument. She would them block me and I would take my **** out by emailing her in anger. It was ridiculous. The push and pull. Hearing she loves me one day and telling me I'm an ass the next for missing a text by 30 minutes.

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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The only person you have to blame is yourself - for tolerating her very poor and rather abusive behavior.

 

The red flags have been there all along, you haven't listened to the warnings... Stay with this woman and the future will include more of the same...

phineas Established Member

phineas

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Tell her to get a damn job if she can't afford her cell phone or even fricken food.

though if she aint eatin at least she will be thin........nah, not worth it.

 

I hope she's at least good in bed and often.

OnlyHonesty Established Member

OnlyHonesty

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She starts up bitching at me swearing saying I am acting like a retard...

 

This is where she would have been dumped, blocked, and deleted. The end...but for you, the story continues, because like so many in dysfunctional egoic relationships, you do not set, or keep any boundaries.

 

If you thought it was a one off, perhaps you might have given her another chance (providing she made amends and sincerely apologized of her own free will), and if it happened again you'd enforce the boundary.

 

The important thing is that you set a boundary you are comfortable with, that is reasonable, but not too lenient. No person is worth damaging self esteem over, but you are yet to learn that.

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OnlyHonesty Established Member

OnlyHonesty

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Tell her to get a damn job if she can't afford her cell phone or even fricken food.

though if she aint eatin at least she will be thin........nah, not worth it.

 

I hope she's at least good in bed and often.

 

 

Why would that matter? that's the problem with a lot of guys, they remain in dysfunctional relationships that damage their essence because the sex is good..

hunk Established Member

hunk

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She has no respect for you whatsoever, absolutely zero. She is exploiting you and using you for emotional validation and resources. You are stuck in a cycle of appeasing her, her being disgusted by your supplicating behavior, her getting angry at you because she's turned off by your behavior, and you thinking the way to stop her getting angry is to continue supplicating to her and acting like a spineless servant which is what is pissing her off in the first place.

 

As much as you and many here will say and think this is her fault, it's your fault. You're behaving like a man-servant instead of a man. She doesn't know how to deal with it, it's unnatural and weird to her, and therefore is getting pissed off at you and repulsed by you.

 

If you continue behaving like this she will hang around and use you for your money while she sleeps with other men and eventually leaves you.

 

You need to do a hard 180 to even begin to salvage this, but I'm telling you it's 99.9% over. Ignore her and ghost her, tell her you're bored of her, stop replying to messages, stop talking to her full stop. Unfortunately this relationship is ruined. Her image of you will never change. Even if you suddenly start manning up she'll always remember you as the spineless servant you've been acting like.

 

Use this relationship to start learning about sexual dynamics and relationships in general. Please stop behaving like a doormat. You are a man, and you need to behave like a f****** man or it's over for you.

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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How could she do this to you? Well, in her mind it's acceptable behaviour and the fact that you haven't dumped her yet shows that you're basically OK with it.

 

No I am not okay with this. I just don't want to get too upset where I can't control myself. Will not get what I have.. I playing the game as well but she's has an abusive past, which came out when I was away with her. That was by accident. I was shocked, but I told her that was her past. She's not sleeping around. She hasn't been with a man since 2007. She like being with me, other wise she wouldn't be around me. She as paid for me when I was long on funds on my short trip. Still I would like to see this flip over. Can such a woman see her mistakes as well I am no different but I am know what I am doing. sure I almost left this in the trash. I don't have to send her anything I didn't want too and I knew it was going to come. She kept saying thank you on cell and tex for what I help her with. I really want to see where this goes.

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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This is where she would have been dumped, blocked, and deleted. The end...but for you, the story continues, because like so many in dysfunctional egoic relationships, you do not set, or keep any boundaries.

 

If you thought it was a one off, perhaps you might have given her another chance (providing she made amends and sincerely apologized of her own free will), and if it happened again you'd enforce the boundary.

 

The important thing is that you set a boundary you are comfortable with, that is reasonable, but not too lenient. No person is worth damaging self esteem over, but you are yet to learn that.

 

If I do that it would the end, I wanted so much to see if this could work. Yes I am not dumb there is two sides of her. nice and bad. Bad comes out when she thinks something she doesn't like is said or done. I though there could be a way to calm her down. When she gets upset on cell like cat and mouse. I told her off and told her to be quiet! I will not stand for this, and I not going to be mean and say well could have anyone else. No I am doing that. She going under my skin. Her mother told me the same thing she does that. But what they don't say is she's in therapy, because something seriously happen to her when she was a child. She told me why her mother didn't see it going on. So should I abandon her. No let her see a different sort of man. Why should I leave. She's not leaving either, she knows there is no one else going to put up with her behavior. i do because I want to know if she does understand what she's doing?

 

Her kids are acting the same why at their partners too. Something is not right here. Why should be without a man for 10 years not sleep with none for that time. She's been honest with me. She doesn't sleep around. I don't I date but don't sleep around. I did sleep with her. I know she can be so nice but I want to see that always but I can see the eyes and what they're thinking I watch her. closely. When she see her mom she gives her money. I am giving her 26 I could have given more but I am not stupid. She's with her family. I just don't think her child has much money and struggling to keep her 2 kids a float. Why are you on EBT that's another thing. Both kids are ad she.

 

When she gets here in 2 weeks I have to see closely what she's doing and give her some space like she wants to have a BBQ her sure not problem We can do that together. Do things she never did before. Like going to the movies she told me last night she has done that in ages sounds like longer. She never been to murder on the train or solve a crime on boat. There is so many things I can do with her. I want to see if this can really be done, catch her in the angry and try to change it around.

 

I will share what I have found out when I can when she's here I might not be on as often.. She is not after my money and I am not easy to give in to that either.

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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This is what happened to me as well. She would constantly text me messages to make me feel guilty and I would of course apologize and try to ask what made her think that and now it's an argument. She would them block me and I would take my **** out by emailing her in anger. It was ridiculous. The push and pull. Hearing she loves me one day and telling me I'm an ass the next for missing a text by 30 minutes.

 

But how did you meet her? I met this one at work like I did with the prior one which was a disaster. I know many women like these. Some are what they say here. But some are sex addicts and I don't want to deal with them.

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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Tell her to get a damn job if she can't afford her cell phone or even fricken food.

though if she aint eatin at least she will be thin........nah, not worth it.

 

I hope she's at least good in bed and often.

 

She and I work for the same company so yes she has a job she had fight with them. I wasn't there with she's with her Mom in another state. I was there for 4 days with her. I wanted to show her that I really cared. She's not eating and lost a lot of weight. Her best friend told me bet here for her.

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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She has no respect for you whatsoever, absolutely zero. She is exploiting you and using you for emotional validation and resources. You are stuck in a cycle of appeasing her, her being disgusted by your supplicating behavior, her getting angry at you because she's turned off by your behavior, and you thinking the way to stop her getting angry is to continue supplicating to her and acting like a spineless servant which is what is pissing her off in the first place.

 

As much as you and many here will say and think this is her fault, it's your fault. You're behaving like a man-servant instead of a man. She doesn't know how to deal with it, it's unnatural and weird to her, and therefore is getting pissed off at you and repulsed by you.

 

If you continue behaving like this she will hang around and use you for your money while she sleeps with other men and eventually leaves you.

 

You need to do a hard 180 to even begin to salvage this, but I'm telling you it's 99.9% over. Ignore her and ghost her, tell her you're bored of her, stop replying to messages, stop talking to her full stop. Unfortunately this relationship is ruined. Her image of you will never change. Even if you suddenly start manning up she'll always remember you as the spineless servant you've been acting like.

 

Use this relationship to start learning about sexual dynamics and relationships in general. Please stop behaving like a doormat. You are a man, and you need to behave like a f****** man or it's over for you.

 

I am not a doormat or servant! Not ever case is like this. Sure it seems these are the only type of woman out there. Those who were abused by other men. Can I live her 24/7? i believe it can work, if it can't then she can leave my house for good. I have other women different that her but I have to travel to them. 1 hr south by plane. I really don't to dot hat just yet. I wanted someone local instead of far away. She has a job she just did a transfer to another location her in Florida. She wants me to work with her child since that company pays better. I don't know yet. I have to tell you all what I know it's not easy to share.

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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Why would that matter? that's the problem with a lot of guys, they remain in dysfunctional relationships that damage their essence because the sex is good..

 

Sex aside I want the trust I have that with her. I trust her and she trust me. She not easy to get along with she told me but she's trying to change. I want to see if this works out better than what I am use too. She from work we worked almost together. When she goes back she'll be in a different department.

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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She has no respect for you whatsoever, absolutely zero. She is exploiting you and using you for emotional validation and resources. You are stuck in a cycle of appeasing her, her being disgusted by your supplicating behavior, her getting angry at you because she's turned off by your behavior, and you thinking the way to stop her getting angry is to continue supplicating to her and acting like a spineless servant which is what is pissing her off in the first place.

 

As much as you and many here will say and think this is her fault, it's your fault. You're behaving like a man-servant instead of a man. She doesn't know how to deal with it, it's unnatural and weird to her, and therefore is getting pissed off at you and repulsed by you.

 

If you continue behaving like this she will hang around and use you for your money while she sleeps with other men and eventually leaves you.

 

You need to do a hard 180 to even begin to salvage this, but I'm telling you it's 99.9% over. Ignore her and ghost her, tell her you're bored of her, stop replying to messages, stop talking to her full stop. Unfortunately this relationship is ruined. Her image of you will never change. Even if you suddenly start manning up she'll always remember you as the spineless servant you've been acting like.

 

Use this relationship to start learning about sexual dynamics and relationships in general. Please stop behaving like a doormat. You are a man, and you need to behave like a f****** man or it's over for you.

 

She does have it otherwise she would have left.. She doesn't like to be text so no text if she wonders where I am she just have to call me on cell and ask. I am not giving in just don't like to get upset and she doesn't either. She called and talk to me while watching a movie. I really ant to see if they can work if it can't oh well.. But I really enjoy her company we both laugh and talk. The others are selfish and don't care. I don't want that ever again.

She's getting help but and this is a big step to move in with her boyfriend me after 10 years without one.

 

I had woman who got so upset while driving her to the movies because I didn't make the turn. She had smacked my passenger side window so hard. I told her I am taking you back to your apartment. I do not want you with me ever again. She said she was sorry too late you not going with me!

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Williamjacob Established Member

Williamjacob

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You all have valid points, I want to see where this goes. As for money that's it she can get the rest from the family. Only 2 weeks more then she's here. I can't wait. She has never been with a guy like me before.. I' been with her sort prior but shes not like them as much, some were the worst and some just money grabbers. When I didn't have the funds she help me out and made sure I had food. You tell me how many would do that too.. Something good about her and she's going to cook me my favorite food Salmon Patties but she's making it with rice and home made biscuits. None of the other women who where like this ever thought about cooking me dinner or making anything they were selfish, they didn't care about me. They just want, want and want..

Coffeeguy Member

Coffeeguy

Posted
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But how did you meet her? I met this one at work like I did with the prior one which was a disaster. I know many women like these. Some are what they say here. But some are sex addicts and I don't want to deal with them.

 

I met her on OKC. Worst mistake of my life.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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