Fewch Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 I'm at the point where I know it's no longer healthy for me to be in contact with my ex. I have mastered not calling/texting/emailing her, but my weakness is when she reaches out to me. For the life of me, I CAN'T just not pick up the phone when she calls. And not even because I'm hoping she wants me back, I just feel like an ******* ignoring her on purpose. Somebody please tell me why me ignoring her in this scenario is acceptable behaviour? Again, I wouldn't be ignoring to hopefully get her back but to just get the heck over her.
A_New_Earth Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 Sounds like you're a good guy with a good heart. So yeah, ignoring people is not going to make you feel great. I was in the same boat and I found it impossible. I'd get an attack of conscience five mins after ignoring and then I'd be the one to reach out. The solution? Get a new mobile number. Block on social media. Change your email address. That way, she may be trying contact you...but you won't hear from her so you can assume she's not... These things are very simple to do. So, it's on you now. If you don't these things then you're leaving a door open. Pull the plaster off, bro. Don't be like me and let this drag on (and on and on and on...) Peace
dumbass2 Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 If what you say is being honest with yourself, then block her from contacting you so you won't know if/when she does. This is best for healing. Doesn't have to be forever, just to the point where you're not emotionally vested any more. The other option, if you haven't said this yet, is to just tell her that it is too difficult for you and to please not contact you again. This should make ignoring her easier if you're someone that just can't do it unless you communicate it first. You have to think of yourself now and not worry about how or what she thinks. Doesn't matter any more.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 If you don't feel right flat-out ignoring her, simply tell her not to contact you unless it's to talk about reconciling. Let her know that if she does not respect your wishes, you will have no choice but to block her. And mean it when you say it. 3
dumbass2 Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 I just noticed your other thread that I replied to. Please go back and re-read everyone's advice and some of your replies. The answers/advice is there. Don't contact her again and block her on all contact. It appears that ignoring is to difficult for you, which is for most, but you have an issue with boundaries. Don't keep yourself in limbo. At this point this is self inflicted torture.
marky00 Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 It's hard I know... but the answer is simple. The only way your Ex will respect you, is if you show you have strong boundaries and respect yourself. I've been ignoring mine for almost a year so I know where you are coming from. For me, it's just been another life lesson. I know I'm doing the right thing but it kind of sucks when the ex keeps sending lame messages. Makes me feel like even after doing everything right for a year, nothing seems to have changed. But I have decided now to just trust the universe. It's like a degree or a job or w/e. You got to do the right thing for the long haul. But yeah, just trust NC is the right thing. Maybe one day in years to come, her contact will be so different, you will sense that her contact is coming from a better place. Until then, stick to your guns.
Trust666 Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 //If you don't feel right flat-out ignoring her, simply tell her not to contact you unless it's to talk about reconciling. Let her know that if she does not respect your wishes, you will have no choice but to block her. And mean it when you say it.// This^^^ You're not an ******* for wanting to move on, she's your ex, ex= no longer part of your life. Nip while you can, as you said it's harder to heal and in the long run it could descend into a dumpster fire.
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