wakamiya Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 HEY. I haven tposted in a while, and thought I could use some input. My wonderful (right ) ex and I had a talk the other day...was really short. There was a lot of tension because I am detached to him now kinda. I just got the job I've wanted, and it really has been helping me keep my mind off of him. I really don't know if he still has feelings for me. I ended the talk with "you know, I'm really not in the mood for argueing" because I am coping with my friends whom are leaving for College (I'm gonna miss them so much!) After I said that, he said "if your going to leave, leave" "typical....go ahead" ? Anyway, I'll just show you the email, that he sent about 5 minutes later... "ok, you really need to get down to the point sometimes.. you might enjoy it, but pointless bantering like "hey can I ask you a question?" really pisses me off.. I may waste my time playing games but when people waste my precious game-wasting time asking stupid questions it gets on my nerves, if you have a question to ask ask it.. I guarantee if I didn't have the time to answer whatever question you had I wouldn't have the time to answer "hey can I ask you a question" and you'd be just as mad at me for whatever arbetrary reason you get for being mad at me... and as for the whole pitty thing, i'm sorry, i'm not buying it - you were having so much fun when you had all of your friends around you! maybe you should have had some foresight and not "put me up on the shelf" because you can't "take me down when you want me" which is apparently now, and you know that I never did that to you reguardless of what you accused me of.. and another thing, maybe if you could stand up when I confronted you about things i'd have respect for you, as it is I don't even have an ounce, if respect can be measured that way i'm not sure but an ounce isn't very much and I don't have very much, I have none.. grow up" For one, I only ask "hey can I ask you a question" when I have something really important to say. Two, he thinks I'm trying to have him pitty me...which really, I dont think I was. Maybe I did? I came home really sad. I shouldn't have gone to him but I really didnt have anyone to confide in at the time. Three! I never put him on the shelf...he put ME on the shelf. He said he didn't want to know me on a personal level...and well, after that day it's been awfully easy contacting him less, and he hasn't even tried to. And lastly, how does someone respect you for standing up for yourself when you KNOW the person you are in an arguement with, will give you none. In my experience with him, once I stand up - the arguement just gets worse. Has anyone experienced anything like this? I really wish I knew what to do.. I'm at a really confusing part where I don't know if I care about him so much anymore. He's such a nice guy to be friends with, but even after a week of NC, he still gets really defensive over nothing. I do feel a little guilty....maybe I had put him on the shelf to see how he would act when breaking NC....thats a really evil thing to do. And I'm not out to get him back purposely or anything. Help??
lindya Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Jesus, He's making one hell of an fuss about the whole "can I ask you a question?" thing. Ok - I can see why it might be mildly irritating, but it's nothing to explode over or harp on endlessly about. Does he rant at you like that because he thinks it's somehow "manly" to do so? My sympathies...it must be incredibly wearing to spend time with someone who picks fights and bawls you out over petty issues like that. I'm sure you'll welcome the peace and tranquillity that comes from getting shot of such an ill-humoured wanker.
Outcast Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 He's mad at you so he will make anything you do into a big deal.
Author wakamiya Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 I'm trying to figure out if I should reply. See, he has no real reason to be mad at me anymore...well, I'd imagine he wouldn't. I hate games. I read a few posts on LS about "balls being in courts" and all that...and I'm thinking "Hey, if I email him, will he even reply back? He could just be testing to see if I care" Another thing I noticed...he puts a heck of a lot of energy into fussing when I haven't seen him in a week. I used to be real clingy and demanding, and my new job has been taking all My energy out. (Or it could be that I'm healing from him? I Hope so!) The only reason I even brought up my friends leaving for College, is because I have nothing in common with him anymore. Anyone think I should e-mail him back? EDIT: I decided to. But it feels like I'm just feeding him fuel.
lostinmymind Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 NC longer! It's been a week. Things haven't cooled off yet. When a person dumps another they justify their feelings of guilt by blaming things on you. They do things like make it seem that you are trying to make them feel bad (when really they just feel bad themselves) and getting mad at you for little or no reason. NC I wouldn't have emailed him back, you are just showing you care. You have to show you DON'T care in order to make yourself stronger.
Author wakamiya Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 No no no no. We've been broken up for about 4 months. And I said I Decided to, but I couldn't send it. I took one look at what I wrote, which was "Having so much fun when i had all my friends around me?" you don't know what I've been doing all week.. all My energy has been going into work. (mental and physical labor)... and who is putting who on the shelf? "I don't want to know you on a personal level, but theres no reason behind it" so I stopped trying. I am just trying to make things better." and realized there's no point. It'll just make him angrier probably.... I know if I write more I will just come off as really childish. I wanted to call him "selfish" for saying people waste his time. And something about how he never respected me in the first place. Damn I hate relationships. Oh, and last week he was going on about beliefs, but I won't get into that much. He was critizising his friends who are religious...saying "Theres a difference between believing falSIFIED information and being ignorant" and it seemed like he was forcing his opinion on all of us. There really is no reason I should stick around him, huh? To make it worse he said there's nothing really good in life the second to the last time we had a conversation. He's almost two years older than me so I don't know how to take all this in... PS. Thanks all of you for the advice i've gotten so far! )
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