manoffaith Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 One thing that has boggled my mind is how people can say I love you. How they can look you in the eye everyday or everytime they see you and say I love you. You are the one for me. And then suddenly leave you alone and full of grief. Why say it. It doesn't make any sense how people fall out of love. What do they think about, how does it happen? I am loyal and loving and if i say I love you i mean it. I dont throw it around. People throw that word around all the time and it aggrevates me. Break ups would never happen if people were in the right state of mind and just thought normal and stopped worring about everything. Its funny how someone wants you so bad and then suddenly wants nothing to do with you. Its nuts Talking to people who have broken others hearts, how, why do you do it? Why do yo say I love you and leave? Just curious.
lindya Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 When someone you're crazy about says "I love you" you can treat that as a precious moment, but it's a mistake to hold it as any kind of promise. "I love you" is a fantastic thing to say and hear if both of you mean it at the time. It just doesn't always last. Other people get involved, friends and/or family interfere and encourage doubts, people start becoming unclear about what it is they really want, conflict, commitment phobia or pure boredom sets in.... Some people say "I love you" in order to mark important moments when they felt overwhelmed by emotion for the other person. Those moments can make great memories. I don't think the worst cruelty is to say "I love you" and not mean "forever." I'd say it's far harsher to take a demolition ball to the other person's happy memories, with the words "I never really loved you."
lostinmymind Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Saying I love you means nothing, althought it is nice to hear. You need to show love through actions, not words. My ex and I always used to say I love you to each other. Now she says I love you to her new boyfriend of two months. It makes me feel like our love was worthless, until I realized that it doesn't matter how many times you say it. It is all just about showing your love for one another.
Iluvsiamese Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 I think that alot of people say it and believe it at the time. The thing is, they are really just infatuated. Many of these people are also addicted to the high that comes with infatuation. Either they don't believe/understand that there is a difference between the two or they just don't care. It's a puzzle, isn't it? Here's another puzzle--how can someone say "I love you more than anyone I have ever known, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you" and then constantly talk about their ex-wife in glowing terms? And when inebriated, state that they love their ex-wife and they are so sorry that they screwed up and lost her? There are so many contradictions going on here, more than I can get into and I just have no idea which to believe. This person is tying me to him in many ways, but at the same time is refusing to make the same emotional commitment to me. He is wonderful and we get along great--UNTIL he starts in about life with the ex. I confess that I am now over-sensitive on the issue but I don't see this sort of behaviour as being in line with that of someone who is totally in love and committed. He, on the other hand, feels that I am demanding that he deny that he was once married to this woman. He was once married to her, that's a fact, but he is keeping it alive and in focus by having her things around, his wedding ring, and constantly talking about her. I just can't reconcile the two. I have not left him yet, but I can see it coming.
Mz. Pixie Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 People are human and not perfect. Just because they say they love you doesn't mean they will always treat you the way you want to be treated or behave in the way you expect them to. Also things happen in relationships to cause them to end besides not loving that person. I was married for a long time, ended up getting divorced. I wanted the divorce because my husband at the time neglected me for years and years. Yet, I can say to this day that I will always have love in my heart for him. We had two beautiful children together, how could I not? Yes, I hurt him and in the end we're not together but I made some mistakes, he did as well and we are both moving on. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
Rocko Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by Iluvsiamese I think that alot of people say it and believe it at the time. The thing is, they are really just infatuated. Many of these people are also addicted to the high that comes with infatuation. Either they don't believe/understand that there is a difference between the two or they just don't care. It's a puzzle, isn't it? Here's another puzzle--how can someone say "I love you more than anyone I have ever known, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you" and then constantly talk about their ex-wife in glowing terms? And when inebriated, state that they love their ex-wife and they are so sorry that they screwed up and lost her? There are so many contradictions going on here, more than I can get into and I just have no idea which to believe. This person is tying me to him in many ways, but at the same time is refusing to make the same emotional commitment to me. He is wonderful and we get along great--UNTIL he starts in about life with the ex. I confess that I am now over-sensitive on the issue but I don't see this sort of behaviour as being in line with that of someone who is totally in love and committed. He, on the other hand, feels that I am demanding that he deny that he was once married to this woman. He was once married to her, that's a fact, but he is keeping it alive and in focus by having her things around, his wedding ring, and constantly talking about her. I just can't reconcile the two. I have not left him yet, but I can see it coming. This sound like he's projecting the love for his ex-wife onto you.
butterfly29 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by manoffaith One thing that has boggled my mind is how people can say I love you. How they can look you in the eye everyday or everytime they see you and say I love you. You are the one for me. And then suddenly leave you alone and full of grief. They do that when they think they love you, not really being sure what love is. They say it mostly because they have an urge to say it at the moment. I find that a lot of times when you say "I love her/him" while talking about your SO to someone else and saying it in the just because tone of voice is much more powerful and meaningfull than the passionate "I love you" to their face.
JS17 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 my ex said it to destroy me...that's also the reason he writes it to his current girlfriend in public places
Iluvsiamese Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 I don't know if that's it or not, Rocko, I really don't. You can read my original post (wayyyy back) under Cheating, Flirting and Jealousy to get a more detailed picture--"Is he really still in love with his wife after a decade?" I feel that he is holding back any major commitment because he knows he can't really be honest about his feelings wrt his ex-wife, either with me or with himself. It seems that she is what he really wants but he doesn't think that he can have that. It makes me feel like I am not what he wants but better than nothing. MzPixie, who were you asking?
Mr.positive Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 The I love you thing dosn't really bother me. It's the matter when someone tells you they want to be with you and you in turn make plans for a life together and then they give the impression that they don't really care in the first place cause they tell you that there going to bail on you. Sorry bout the tangent thanks.
Author manoffaith Posted August 18, 2005 Author Posted August 18, 2005 I am only 21 Mz pixie. I know I am young, I was just curious. I know peoples feelings can change, influences from other people definatley can have in affect. I just miss my ex sometimes. She was great. But thanks for the posts, i appreciate it. Love is a crazy thing.
Recommended Posts