Candy2swiit Posted October 20, 2017 Posted October 20, 2017 Hey lovely people So I am not entirely sure whether we are broken up, or we are both awaiting the other to apologise. I've been having trouble with my family, who are considering a divorce and I called my boyfriend to talk because I felt bad with the situation and he sounded off. Turns out him and his dad had a loud argument and that is why. But then i came to ask him, that I needed certainty, of what we were. I wanted to hear him say that he was sure in his heart he wanted us to be together and not just because I am a lovely comfort of warmth and good food. He was hesitating, saying he felt unsure of his decisions when I confront ("accuse") him like that. He didn't know for sure he wanted to marry me, but that is not what I asked. I meant in a few months. So he replied no. But that he does care for me and loves me, and enjoys our time together. I know I got emotional, so I may have suggested that he enjoy his guy friends this weekend instead of trying to see me, and that if he was interested in a girl, he could do whatever and I would not care. Later my MMS that hadn't been sent before, got sent to him. And he replied, with a nice tone. But we haven't spoken since. He did also say, that if we were broken up this time, he and I didn't want to try to make it work, because we've tried fixing it before. He had cheated twice and I have trust issues, explaining why I need him to tell me he is so sure. I dint think I should be calling him, because he has plan with the guys, and as not to seem too desperate and clingy. But when conflicts arise I have a tendency to want to fix things as soon as possible before it eats me up. Help?
A_New_Earth Posted October 20, 2017 Posted October 20, 2017 It sounds like a difficult relationship to be a part of. Why are you still with him if he has cheated twice? No wonder you have trust issues... He's caused you to not trust him. None of us can tell you if this is an 'agrument' or a 'break up'...but we can tell you not to entertain a man who has cheated on you twice. Hey lovely people So I am not entirely sure whether we are broken up, or we are both awaiting the other to apologise. I've been having trouble with my family, who are considering a divorce and I called my boyfriend to talk because I felt bad with the situation and he sounded off. Turns out him and his dad had a loud argument and that is why. But then i came to ask him, that I needed certainty, of what we were. I wanted to hear him say that he was sure in his heart he wanted us to be together and not just because I am a lovely comfort of warmth and good food. He was hesitating, saying he felt unsure of his decisions when I confront ("accuse") him like that. He didn't know for sure he wanted to marry me, but that is not what I asked. I meant in a few months. So he replied no. But that he does care for me and loves me, and enjoys our time together. I know I got emotional, so I may have suggested that he enjoy his guy friends this weekend instead of trying to see me, and that if he was interested in a girl, he could do whatever and I would not care. Later my MMS that hadn't been sent before, got sent to him. And he replied, with a nice tone. But we haven't spoken since. He did also say, that if we were broken up this time, he and I didn't want to try to make it work, because we've tried fixing it before. He had cheated twice and I have trust issues, explaining why I need him to tell me he is so sure. I dint think I should be calling him, because he has plan with the guys, and as not to seem too desperate and clingy. But when conflicts arise I have a tendency to want to fix things as soon as possible before it eats me up. Help? 1
d0nnivain Posted October 20, 2017 Posted October 20, 2017 It sounds like you both had rough days & other stuff made your short with each other. While I'm no fan of texting, since you want to give him some time with his friends consider texting something like this: We were both upset about things that had nothing to do with our relationship. It was unfair of me to expect you make certain declarations while you were upset just because I needed reassurance after what is going on with my parents. You are important to me & I'm sorry. Have fun with your guys this weekend. Can we see each other on Monday to really talk & fix things? Somebody has to make the first move. Going forward, when there is conflict don't immediately go to breaking up. Hit pause as in, we're both emotional; let's sleep in it & deal with it tomorrow when things are calmer
ExpatInItaly Posted October 20, 2017 Posted October 20, 2017 Why are you with a guy who has cheated on you twice? This is not the right relationship for you, OP. This latest episode is but a symptom of a much bigger problem. 1
CaliBabe Posted October 20, 2017 Posted October 20, 2017 You told him to be with his friends and if hes interested in other girls he can do whatever he wants... Saying this is sending the totally opposite of what you want. You want him to say he wants a future with you but then you are pushing him away. It doesn't make sense. You gave him the green light to be with other women... I don't understand the rationale behind this.
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