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I told him not to contact me unless he wants to get back together...

kittyxo

By kittyxo
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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kittyxo Established Member

kittyxo

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A recent bf of mine and I have broken up last week. He has been dealing with a lot of personal issues financial issues and anger issues. He broke up with me because he said that I was only adding to his issues – not helping and that he couldn’t handle the responsibility of a relationship. I took the news okay – knowing that It wasn’t my fault made it easier to kind of move forward.

 

2 weeks later he messaged me saying hi and was having a conversation with me. While although this was nice, I quickly began realizing that my process of moving on came to a halt, and that I felt as If I were being lead on. I asked him why he messaged me, and he said he was lonely and I was the only person who he could talk to. It felt nice, but again I felt myself in a weird situation where I was being lead on. I finally put a stop to it today, and I told him not to contact me further unless it was about getting back together because im in love with him and I although I want to be there for him, I need to also think about myself and I was getting hurt.

I am just having doubts in my decision at the moment.. could really use some encouragement on my decision.

Trust666 Established Member

Trust666

Posted
Posted

//I finally put a stop to it today, and I told him not to contact me further unless it was about getting back together because im in love with him and I although I want to be there for him, I need to also think about myself and I was getting hurt.//

 

You made the right decision, take care of yourself. If it's meant to be then he will come back, if not at least you are moving on and protecting yourself.

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kittyxo Established Member

kittyxo

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You made the right decision, take care of yourself. If it's meant to be then he will come back, if not at least you are moving on and protecting yourself.

 

 

 

Thank you

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kittyxo Established Member

kittyxo

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I feel strengthened

 

I also feel like it may click in his head that I am actually gone from his life

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Highndry Established Member

Highndry

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You said the perfect thing. Now he needs to respect that.

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Beachead Established Member

Beachead

Posted
Posted
A recent bf of mine and I have broken up last week. He has been dealing with a lot of personal issues financial issues and anger issues. He broke up with me because he said that I was only adding to his issues – not helping and that he couldn’t handle the responsibility of a relationship. I took the news okay – knowing that It wasn’t my fault made it easier to kind of move forward.

 

2 weeks later he messaged me saying hi and was having a conversation with me. While although this was nice, I quickly began realizing that my process of moving on came to a halt, and that I felt as If I were being lead on. I asked him why he messaged me, and he said he was lonely and I was the only person who he could talk to. It felt nice, but again I felt myself in a weird situation where I was being lead on. I finally put a stop to it today, and I told him not to contact me further unless it was about getting back together because im in love with him and I although I want to be there for him, I need to also think about myself and I was getting hurt.

I am just having doubts in my decision at the moment.. could really use some encouragement on my decision.

 

Your doubts are completely normal. After speaking to many of my friends and reading many stories online and on here, I realized this myself.

 

I am in complete support of your decision and the way you worded what you said to him. There was no better way than that. Be strong and follow through with your decision and don't let him bait you into meaningless, directionless conversations (Again, after reading online and hearing other peoples stories, I realized how common it is for dumpers to do this). If he's serious and wants to be with you, he'll need to put forth a strong effort.

 

Goodluck.

KLB1996 Member

KLB1996

Posted
Posted
A recent bf of mine and I have broken up last week. He has been dealing with a lot of personal issues financial issues and anger issues. He broke up with me because he said that I was only adding to his issues – not helping and that he couldn’t handle the responsibility of a relationship. I took the news okay – knowing that It wasn’t my fault made it easier to kind of move forward.

 

2 weeks later he messaged me saying hi and was having a conversation with me. While although this was nice, I quickly began realizing that my process of moving on came to a halt, and that I felt as If I were being lead on. I asked him why he messaged me, and he said he was lonely and I was the only person who he could talk to. It felt nice, but again I felt myself in a weird situation where I was being lead on. I finally put a stop to it today, and I told him not to contact me further unless it was about getting back together because im in love with him and I although I want to be there for him, I need to also think about myself and I was getting hurt.

I am just having doubts in my decision at the moment.. could really use some encouragement on my decision.

 

Yes, you did the right thing. My ex bf did the same thing after our breakup (he was the one who broke up with me). He continued to text me every few weeks for about 4 months and every time, the healing process had to start all over. It made it so much worse. Good for you for putting boundaries in place!

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kittyxo Established Member

kittyxo

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My ex broke up with me he said because of his personal issues but now just said it was because I'm bad in bed and I'm overweight. He said i am a weak woman and I am bipolar...throughout our relationship he repeatedly called me fat, that i didnt lose weight for him, said I was horrible in bed. I made a comment about his financial issues and he then played victim and wouldn't talk to me for weeks.

 

I feel like crap. While we were talking I was so frustrated I said I would crash my car. I wasn't thinking straight I was just dumb for saying it. He then told me to f*** off and called me immature and weak for saying it - although I apologized for having a breakdown.

 

I feel like he is making me hate myself. I can't believe I said that I was going to crash my car.

 

I feel so vulnerable. Help

Gr8fuln2020 Established Member

Gr8fuln2020

Posted
Posted
My ex broke up with me he said because of his personal issues but now just said it was because I'm bad in bed and I'm overweight. He said i am a weak woman and I am bipolar...throughout our relationship he repeatedly called me fat, that i didnt lose weight for him, said I was horrible in bed. I made a comment about his financial issues and he then played victim and wouldn't talk to me for weeks.

 

I feel like crap. While we were talking I was so frustrated I said I would crash my car. I wasn't thinking straight I was just dumb for saying it. He then told me to f*** off and called me immature and weak for saying it - although I apologized for having a breakdown.

 

I feel like he is making me hate myself. I can't believe I said that I was going to crash my car.

 

I feel so vulnerable. Help

 

Why are you communicating with him?! Cut...him...off!

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kittyxo Established Member

kittyxo

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Why are you communicating with him?! Cut...him...off!

 

He has been messaging me lately. He is making me feel like I am worthless and incapable of being a woman. I am starting to feel like it

Gr8fuln2020 Established Member

Gr8fuln2020

Posted
Posted
He has been messaging me lately. He is making me feel like I am worthless and incapable of being a woman. I am starting to feel like it

 

Block him! Don't allow anyone do this to you!

Michelle ma Belle Established Member

Michelle ma Belle

Posted
Posted

This is an easy one, BLOCK him, IGNORE him, AVOID him, do whatever it takes to remove any trace of him from your life and spend that time building yourself back up.

 

Why are you allowing him to continue on with his behavior?

 

If you fear for your safety, seek help from your local women's domestic shelter. If not, BLOCK HIM.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

Looking at the timing of your posts, this guy has anger issues.....and him telling you this happened after you told him to not contact you unless it's to get back together. He's lashing out at you because he's angry that you put some boundaries in place.

 

That said, given all the nasty things he said to you while in the relationship, why on earth did you give him the option of getting back together with you? This guy did you a favour by ending things.

 

Sweetie, I say this in the kindest way possible: get yourself some therapy. Find out why you'd accept this kind of treatment while in a relationship.

Trust666 Established Member

Trust666

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Posted

Yeah, **** that guy.....angry and he seems to enjoy demeaning you. Don't listen to him, he's lashing out for attention it sounds like. Control and manipulation.

usa1ah Established Member

usa1ah

Posted
Posted
A recent bf of mine and I have broken up last week. He has been dealing with a lot of personal issues financial issues and anger issues. He broke up with me because he said that I was only adding to his issues – not helping and that he couldn’t handle the responsibility of a relationship. I took the news okay – knowing that It wasn’t my fault made it easier to kind of move forward.

 

2 weeks later he messaged me saying hi and was having a conversation with me. While although this was nice, I quickly began realizing that my process of moving on came to a halt, and that I felt as If I were being lead on. I asked him why he messaged me, and he said he was lonely and I was the only person who he could talk to. It felt nice, but again I felt myself in a weird situation where I was being lead on. I finally put a stop to it today, and I told him not to contact me further unless it was about getting back together because im in love with him and I although I want to be there for him, I need to also think about myself and I was getting hurt.

I am just having doubts in my decision at the moment.. could really use some encouragement on my decision.

 

If being best friends with him with a view of getting back together as a couple down to he road is the thing, then be best friends. Let him deal with the problems and start up again. Just make sure the two of you are on the same page.

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kittyxo Established Member

kittyxo

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The funnest thing is @basil67, I was reading my previous posts where I was complaining about his behaviour and you, like others had mentioned that he would not change and it would only get worse.

 

I truly thought with timing, he would change and maybe with more time and emotions, he would have been better to me. He is horrible. He likes to control the situation by dumping me in hopes that i will become desperate enough to lose weight for him.. it makes me feel inadequate

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