hoppy28 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 hello im a new member...................i cant believe im here but i also cant believe im feeling this way.i cant afford to pay someone to talk to and the buddies just dont want to hear it. im 28 years old and all guy. all my life ive been a very loyal person. ive never walked out on someone but have always been walked out on. ive been single for two years by choice. mainly being i just know what im looking for in my woman. i havnt let many woman into my life. the ones that i have usually stayed for 2-3 years and usually ended up leaving for someone else. the last girl i thought was the "one" never looked back. i was devestated. i eventually picked myself up and learned that being single was ok. i never went out looking for anyone to be with i didnt want to be a "wolf". this past month i have thrown myself into this sea of emotions. i have to admit i am embarresed as to why and what has triggered all this. here it goes.............. july 3rd i went to a party................i never intended on going. i was actually just wastching baseball at home when acouple buddies called. they said "come over". i did. when i arrived i saw alot of people i grew up with from town. i finally made my way over to my buddy and his fiance. standing with them was one of the most beautiful young woman i have ever laid my eyes on. something hit me that very second. i couldnt explain it. she left for a minute and i asked who she was. she came back and introduced herself. i got butterlfies just touching her hand. i knew she had a boyfriend of about 6 years. the night progressed we were all having a good time. i noticed this girl talking with my buddy. she tells him "im single tonight you know". im a trully against cheating. i come from a divorced family where cheating was a big problem. i just left it at that. throughout the night she just kept getting closer............i found her wanting to be close to me. we left this party and hit some bars. back at my buddys it was late.......i hit the bed and she followed. we kissed..........not just your little kiss. it may have been the "hottest kiss" ive ever taken part in. this girl simply had me in a trance. i walked her out to her car. she gave me her number. iwas so wrapped up into the hole thing i didnt even think about her boyfriend. i let it go acouple days.................all i could do was think about her. i had never felt this way. all in 12 hours???? we talked acouple days later. she informed me she had broken it off with her boyfriend. i was taken away by guilt. she assured me that i had nothing to do with it. she said it was long over do. she also assured me that she didnt want me to think she was "that kind of girl". meaning she never thought or even acted upon another guy before. she told me i was differant. she told me how wonderful i was. we started talking alittle more...........we spent 2 or 3 weekend days and nights together. she even brought me lunch at work one day. i was trully "happy" with what was happening. it wasnt fast and furious. we got "real close" to sex one of those nights. it was amazing. i had never felt so attracted to someone in my life. she told me everything i wanted to hear. i didnt want it to end. i eventually met "the parents". i really thought this was going to turn into something good. we had talks about taking it slow. i never pushed her. i understood she needed some time to be single...........i needed her to be single. i thought i could protect my feelings. she came to my house one night for a movie. that didnt last long before she said "do you want to go upstairs". i couldnt refuse". all my intentions were based on feelings i had for this girl. i thought she felt the same. i cant explain what happend in that bed. it was like magic. we did a movie on a friday night. everything went as usual. we ended the night with a great kiss. she said "talk to you later". i called her saturday to say hello...........she was busy. thats cool i figured we all are at times. i let it go acouple days called her wednesday. we had our usual talk. she said "ill call you tomorrow"(thursday). she also said "im might be going to the cape this weekend(saturday) if i dont do you want to get together for movie.....if not saturday maybe early next week?". i said "that would be great....give me a call". i havent heard from her in two weeks. about a week and half ago my buddy told me she may be seeing another guy. when i heard this my heart went into my throat. i felt 1" tall. since i feel he's a reliable source i havent called her. she called last wednesday............i wasnt home so i missed it. i returned the call friday after work. she hasnt called back yet. im having a very hardtime with this one. mainly because i set myself up for hurt. i tricked myself into believeing i was more then a "rebound relationship". once again someone walked into my life and left just as fast without any explanation. her and i had a talk one night about "honesty". she had me fooled. ive been pondering calling her back.................i dont want to hear what i think i think i already know. during one our talks she did say "i need to be honest.......i need to be single". we had this talk before and agreed this was only going to go as far as she wanted it to. maybe that was the one hint i missed. i feel like the biggest looser in the world. in one month i went from having.................................no woman to having a woman "sweep" me off my feet to having a broken heart. ive been in longer relationships that havent hit me as hard as this one. now i sit here just wanting to cry as i ride this emotional rollercoaster. i know................just walk away right?????
sundrop Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 If you want to cry, then cry. Let it go. It will make you feel better. Lord knows I have had any a cry in the shower, when I can let go and be myself. Deal with your emotions as they come. I especially like the anger stage. You sound like an up standing guy, so don't let her treat you any different. Know you know how you want to feel in your relationship. Keep telling yourself she is missing out and you dont need her garbage. And by the way, we always regret letting the good ones go. So one day she will think of you and you will be gone onto something and someone more deserving of your love.
butterfly29 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Well, sorry to hear that. But you've got a lot ways to go and lot of things to learn. Figure out what you want in a relationship first. Figure out what love means to you. From what I've learned about love: A cute face with a nice body that makes me nervous isn't love Someone who doesn't want to be with me and can't be there for me isn't love Someone who can't decide whether I'm good for him or not isn't love Someone who wants to have sex with me before taking time to get to know me as a person isn't love Someone who doesn't return my calls after a reasonable time and then shows up out of the blue one day isn't love Someone who doesn't take time to listen to me isn't love Someone I want to change isn't love Someone I spend a lot more time fantacising about than being present with isn't love Someone who gives me butterflies isn't love
Author hoppy28 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 so i guess what your saying is..................except this for nothing more then it was. a rebound relationship. i feel used, i feel dirty. i cant believe i let this woman make me feel this way. today will be the 2 weeks mark of no talking..............................she's gone right??? she's avoiding telling me "i dont want to be with you"? i cant stand dishonesty. it seems impossable to find honest people these days.
butterfly29 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by hoppy28 so i guess what your saying is..................except this for nothing more then it was. a rebound relationship. i feel used, i feel dirty. i cant believe i let this woman make me feel this way. today will be the 2 weeks mark of no talking..............................she's gone right??? she's avoiding telling me "i dont want to be with you"? i cant stand dishonesty. it seems impossable to find honest people these days. I guess what I'm saying is, try to see it and believe it that this woman is not what YOU need. What you're feeling for her isn't really love. That's all.
sundrop Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 I read in one of my books, take it for wht it's worth. That it normally take a person at least 4-6 weeks to really miss you. If they call you with in that time than you still have a little hold on them and you win, if you call them before that time than they win. Again, take it for what its worth.
Author hoppy28 Posted August 18, 2005 Author Posted August 18, 2005 thankyou for your responses. today marks two weeks of zero contact. i know its for the better. im not easily pursuaded.................this girl didnt even have to try. for whatever reasons i fell. alot harder then i ever should have. SO................in the future i know that girls just getting out of relationships are nothing but trouble!!!!!
legrtova Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Great posts. What's the update on this issue? L.
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