What if you want sex but not *just* sex....?

[heavenonearth]

Just read all the other threads.

 

Seems the guy is really into you, could be only physical but hard to know.

 

The fact that his ex was an escort should not matter. Have protected sex or both get tested before you get it on.

 

If you like him, keep dating him. And try to shed some of your insecurities. It's not helpful. You already made 4 posts about the guy in a matter of days. Relax. Enjoy the ride.

[Coventina]

Is this the guy that says all the right thing? I am getting a better picture here.

 

This guy keeps giving you compliments on your looks only. This put together with 4 dates of several hours all done in a short time. Those 4 dates happened over how long?

 

This man knows what he's doing, he's trying to create the illusion of 'familiarity' so you bring your guards down.

 

We first met 6 weeks ago

[Gaeta]

We first met 6 weeks ago

 

So you had 1 date a week?

[Coventina]

Do the compliments make you feel insecure?

 

No, I guess not. The compliments haven't felt excessive as we do so much talking about stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with that sort of thing (politics, religion, food etc). I guess in total it is a lot of compliments on my appearance, but it didn't feel jarring at the time or all happen at once.

[Coventina]

OK so this guy's ex is a hooker.......Not sure why you would be toying with the idea of dating someone who doesn't see a problem with this. Already you have posted different threads about the same guy about different issues. Why not just ball it all up for us? You don't want us to see a problem with him? For your own sake, your anxiety and insecurity issues....don't date someone like this because you don't trust him. You have noticed he says all the right hings to lure you in, now you are worried this guy is just in it for sex, or doesn't have the ability to have a normal relationship. Like I always say, if it doesn't feel right, then it's not.

 

I didn't intend to have 4 different threads on this guy lol, it's just how it's happened, as different things sprung to mind.

 

His ex being an escort definitely bothers me because ..... I guess I'm kinda traditional and a little uptight. Then again, he didn't have to tell me about it. I didn't ask and I'd have had no way of finding out.

 

As for the rest.....much of it is my insecurities. I can't think of anything he's done or said that is problematic.

[coolheadal]

I didn't intend to have 4 different threads on this guy lol, it's just how it's happened, as different things sprung to mind.

 

His ex being an escort definitely bothers me because ..... I guess I'm kinda traditional and a little uptight. Then again, he didn't have to tell me about it. I didn't ask and I'd have had no way of finding out.

 

As for the rest.....much of it is my insecurities. I can't think of anything he's done or said that is problematic.

 

Your afraid you'll get hurt by him, what does he really want from you. I take it you haven't had sex yet right? Has he brought you flowers, but flowers that you like instead of what he likes for to like instead of what you like. There are men out there that just doesn't get or listen to your needs and wants and desires. So in one sentence my dear do you feel more relax and at ease this guy or are you still scared. He's always a stranger until the day comes when he's not. Your a stranger to him too. All what he said is like a romantic man but what is is after from you. Or what does he get out of you?

[Coventina]

Your afraid you'll get hurt by him, what does he really want from you. I take it you haven't had sex yet right? Has he brought you flowers, but flowers that you like instead of what he likes for to like instead of what you like. There are men out there that just doesn't get or listen to your needs and wants and desires. So in one sentence my dear do you feel more relax and at ease this guy or are you still scared. He's always a stranger until the day comes when he's not. Your a stranger to him too. All what he said is like a romantic man but what is is after from you. Or what does he get out of you?

 

I had mentioned a particular essential oil I love (pure rose otto). I never really buy it because it's super expensive. He bought me a bottle of that, which was sweet.

 

To answer your other question, actually I feel very at ease and happy and relaxed when I am with him. It's in between dates when the insecurities gradually set in. I tend not to invite that many people into my home, not even friends and family that often. I'm an introvert and my home is kinda like my sanctuary. I've lived here about a year and no man I'm dating has actually been in my apartment before until this one. It all felt very relaxed and fun. And no we have not had sex yet but we've now slept in the same bed twice.

[olivetree]

I think you have too many doubts that you should hold off on sex for now.

It will probably cloud your judgement and make you feel vulnerable since you seem like an anxious dater.

 

Get to know him better, build trust and see if the ex hooker factor bugs you.

It might turn out to be a pretty good indication that you are incompatible.