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MEN ONLY do you feel your masculinity is threatened by trying to get your ex back or

strangelove

By strangelove
in Second Chances

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strangelove Member

strangelove

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MEN ONLY do you feel your masculinity is threatened by trying to get your ex back or ......possibly having to admit you were wrong to do so??

westernxer Established Member

westernxer

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You can't win back an ex who doesn't want you, unless you enjoy sticking needles through your eyes.

 

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strangelove Member

strangelove

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westernxer Ive always wondered whats your backstory? why are you on this site? nice hat btw..

Jayhawks Established Member

Jayhawks

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Depends on the break up and if she is willing to reconcile. If she is willing and the break up was your fault then I would have no problem apologizing and asking for another chance. Admitting your wrong is not a reflection that your not masculine but is being humble. Sometimes you need a little humility, brings you back to reality.

westernxer Established Member

westernxer

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Originally posted by dr strangelove

westernxer Ive always wondered whats your backstory? why are you on this site? nice hat btw..

 

Thanks.

 

I don't know why I'm on here, but I'm having a great time of it. Sometimes it's hard to get away.

 

Maybe I need to start looking for a girlfriend, but that takes work, and I'm working too much as it is (at least I'm showing up).

Juha Established Member

Juha

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Westernxer you are one bitter person....What the heck happened to you...

 

You give no one any hope on this site at all...Never a positive word out of you....

lindya Established Member

lindya

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Originally posted by Juha

Westernxer you are one bitter person....What the heck happened to you...

 

You give no one any hope on this site at all...Never a positive word out of you....

 

I don't think that's very fair. Westernxer seems reasonably content to stay single just now, but he doesn't preach singledom as the only sane option in the way that a bitter person would.

 

Advising someone not to pursue an ex who doesn't appear to want them is realistic - though it's not clear whether what the OP's ex girlfriend feels about the relationship ending, so we can't necessarily assume that she doesn't want him.

pippen_2k Established Member

pippen_2k

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He is one of the few people that keeps it short and sweet and to the point.

 

No need feeding anyone any false hope bullsh*t... all these breakups seem to follow a trend.

 

Alot of people here dont wanna listen to the realistic good advice in which people give them.. alot look for any sort of 'hopefull' advice they can get and run with it.

Outcast Established Member

Outcast

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He's one of the less bitter guys on here. Not sure why you're in such a snit.

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strangelove Member

strangelove

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Hey guys dont hijack my thread ...

 

Answer the question stay on topic.

 

do you feel your masculinity is threatened by trying to get your ex back or ......possibly having to admit you were wrong to do so?

 

No one who has posted to this thread has answered the question..

upsetnhurt Established Member

upsetnhurt

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The only way my masculinity would be threatened is by attempting to get my ex back at any length when in fact it was all her problems that caused the initial breakup. If I did wrong, I would gladly admit it.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Originally posted by dr strangelove

No one who has posted to this thread has answered the question..

If she dumped me and then I tried to get her back, yes it would be embarassing or emasculating.

 

Now, if I dumped her and she comes crawling back on her hands and knees that is different. I'd just make her stay on her knees and give me head :)

Sailynn Established Member

Sailynn

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I believe there is a way of handling that. You do what you need to do, not what you may think the relationship needs or what she wants to hear. When my ex-gf broke up with me, I initiated NC. Immediately after the breakup, I began writing a journal everyday to put my feelings down on paper. I did not send her those initial writings. After a time, I did write her a letter baring my soul. I told her exactly how I felt about her, what I thought I did wrong and what I was doing to amend the wrong on my own, what I wanted in life and the role I wanted her to play in it. Plain and simple. However, there is one thing that I think you should do to keep your manhood intact. Keep contact to a minimum. Let her know you are dating other people and then do just that. Date other people. Make new friends. It may help you keep things in perspective. Afterall, we were ready to give our hearts to our ladies and they refused the gift. Since they didn't accept it, we still have our heart to give to a deserving person who will give their freely in return.

 

Good luck!

Moose Established Member

Moose

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I think it depends on the situation. Was it your fault for the break up in the first place? Are you having to own up to your mistakes? Then, yes, I think it does take a little away from it.

WhatShldIDo Member

WhatShldIDo

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Oh god yes. I feel less of a man everytime with this one girl. First time she was living with me for 5 months then just dissapeared for two weeks till I found her. I saw her and asked her wheres she been, she didnt even aknowledge my exsistance. I cried at work and I'm a mechanic. God I felt so small. All the other guys saw me and I actually got fired because I was all screwed up about it. Then I let her back in my life and all my friends told me I was stupid.... so now Im on the 5th time she dissapears on me and not only do I feel like a female dog (beeatch) but everyone else perceives me in that way because I show feelings towards her and I show the pain that she has caused me. It's been 6 months of pure hell.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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Originally posted by dr strangelove

MEN ONLY do you feel your masculinity is threatened by trying to get your ex back or ......possibly having to admit you were wrong to do so??

 

No I don't ..

 

Nothing wrong with admitting that you were wrong as long as it is real.

Apoligizing for your shortcomings is a sign of a mature person.. not a weak one.

 

I do think that as soon as my intial attempt fails and or I realize that I am shoveling sand against the tide that repeated attempts DO reduce your masculinity as well as reduce your self worth.

and any further attempts are just self mutilation..

 

The key is to know when it is fruitless.. it changes with each relationship.. ie: If she cheated but you made mistakes also then you admitting your mistakes cuts right to your self esteem and self respect.

nyr_fan Member

nyr_fan

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Now, if I dumped her and she comes crawling back on her hands and knees that is different. I'd just make her stay on her knees and give me head

 

LOL alphamale, I needed a quick laugh before I get ready for work, talk to you all later! Have a good day.

Blackfrost Established Member

Blackfrost

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Now, if I dumped her and she comes crawling back on her hands and knees that is different. I'd just make her stay on her knees and give me head

 

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

I'm with alphamale on this. There's no way I would try to get her back if she left me.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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Now, if I dumped her and she comes crawling back on her hands and knees that is different. I'd just make her stay on her knees and give me head

 

Alpha, you just have a way with words... :laugh:

  • 3 weeks later...
Weird Established Member

Weird

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I dont think trying to have things work out or admitting you're wrong is a shot at one's manhood. IMO anyone who seriously thinks that way has a lack of manhood and needs to grow up.

 

A real man can admit when he is wrong and a real man can put in the effort and lay himself out there for something he wants.

 

I will say it is tough to go for that 2nd chance and I think the only way a guy can do it is if he is 99% sure she really still has feelings. If she doesnt then he will most likely end up looking like a goof and will be pissed off with himself a few weeks later when he realizes he wasted hsi tiem trying to woo her back.

lost_in_chgo Established Member

lost_in_chgo

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Westernxer you are one bitter person....What the heck happened to you...

 

You give no one any hope on this site at all...Never a positive word out of you....

 

Everyone would do well to remember that sites like this are generally populated by people with relationship problems and a great number of them are extremely bitter. You really can't take advice without consideration from these people because their bitterness is consuming them and they will try to spread it around.

 

You either get a pep talk, an honest evaluation, a reply colored by the persons own personal problems, or just pure hatred spilling out in every direction.

 

And of course there are those that profit from the sites...

johan Established Member

johan

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I'm wrong a lot. If I couldn't admit to it, I'd look like an even bigger moron.

 

I need to also be with a woman who can admit she is wrong. I'm not interested in having power struggles.

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