IntoIt111 Posted October 17, 2017 Posted October 17, 2017 A girl i've known for a year has everything i want in a women. She has been the most perfect girl i've been with the chemistry we've had was amazing. Of my 23 years in life i havent met someone as fitting for me as her. We shared every single interest we had. We saw each other everyday during university and hung out all the time. We are also in my main friend group and hang out often. The problem is we've had a fling before when she was having troubles with another guy she liked, where she came to me for company. We've kissed a few times and got to second base (touching and tongue kissing), with me knowing she was invested in someone else. I know this was a very bad move, but we both couldn't help it but be intimate. She has told me she likes me a lot as well. 6 months after, I've developed strong feelings for her whilst she has a boyfriend already. I have lost many nights sleep from strong emotional episodes. Now, I've been out meeting many other women for dates to move on, but i'm struggling immensely to get her out of my mind. I cant stop comparing them to her. I always have a false hope that i will miss out when she becomes single. I want to move on from her, but she's done so much for me in my life that it would hurt me even more to lose her from my life. Should i just have to deal with it and hope time will heal this? Appreciate any help tl'dr: Feelings for girl who has a bf, struggling to move on.
d0nnivain Posted October 20, 2017 Posted October 20, 2017 First get her off the pedestal. She's not perfect. At minimum she's sneaking behind her BF's back leading you on. Figure out what qualities you do like & find another woman who has them. Meanwhile stop thinking she is the only perfect person on the planet. She's not 3
mortensorchid Posted October 21, 2017 Posted October 21, 2017 Get busy doing other things. People who are more involved in the community with things are happier. And eventually you'll be better. That's all I can say about it. 1
Highndry Posted October 21, 2017 Posted October 21, 2017 She's not available and it would be foolish to put your life on hold for somebody who does not want you. If she did, she would not be in a relationship with somebody else. You are pining away for her and it's not going to do anything but leave you devastated. You've got to talk to yourself logically and realize it's a fool's game you're playing. Good luck. 1
Miss Spider Posted October 21, 2017 Posted October 21, 2017 (edited) She is not perfect for you or the most fitting for you. She is not even close. If she was, she would be interested in you and she is not. Go no contact (no 'stalking' or looking at pics etc.)Keep hitting up other girls and get hobbies/ enjoy your life. Work on your self esteem so you will start losing interest in people who are not interested. Sticking around like this will only prolong your suffering. Edited October 21, 2017 by Cookiesandough
coolheadal Posted October 21, 2017 Posted October 21, 2017 A girl i've known for a year has everything i want in a women. She has been the most perfect girl i've been with the chemistry we've had was amazing. Of my 23 years in life i havent met someone as fitting for me as her. We shared every single interest we had. We saw each other everyday during university and hung out all the time. We are also in my main friend group and hang out often. The problem is we've had a fling before when she was having troubles with another guy she liked, where she came to me for company. We've kissed a few times and got to second base (touching and tongue kissing), with me knowing she was invested in someone else. I know this was a very bad move, but we both couldn't help it but be intimate. She has told me she likes me a lot as well. 6 months after, I've developed strong feelings for her whilst she has a boyfriend already. I have lost many nights sleep from strong emotional episodes. Now, I've been out meeting many other women for dates to move on, but i'm struggling immensely to get her out of my mind. I cant stop comparing them to her. I always have a false hope that i will miss out when she becomes single. I want to move on from her, but she's done so much for me in my life that it would hurt me even more to lose her from my life. Should i just have to deal with it and hope time will heal this? Appreciate any help tl'dr: Feelings for girl who has a bf, struggling to move on. Your hangup that she said you likes you a lot. So what where is she then? You need to remove her from your mind and say it will never work out between me and (her name goes here) say that until it sticks in your mind. Remember is she with you right now? Nope so why create false hope for some woman who's with someone else. Or she not with you for a reason. She's not into you by chance? Last time I had check if a woman was so interested in you she would try to make the effort to reach out to you.
kassy Posted October 21, 2017 Posted October 21, 2017 I had a guy like this at university. I liked him we made out a bit the day I broke up with my boyfriend. And then while there was always chemistry, I dunno we never seemed to get it together. We both dated other people but when he broke up with his girlfriend 3 years later he asked me to break up with my boyfriend so we could actually date. I didn't. We nearly kissed on night when we were drunk and my boyfriend was out of town. Closest I've ever come to cheating on anyone. At the end of the day I liked him a lot, but for some reason never quite enough. I never tried to lead him on. And I was attracted to him. My advice is move on. If she liked you that much she would be with you. It almost certainly is that she likes you just not quite enough. Also she isn't perfect, no one is. Take her off the pedestal and get on with your life. Happy to say my guy is now very happily married with 3 kids to a fantastic lady and they are much better suited than we ever would have been. So go find that lady for you!
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