Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by CurvyGurl You have a great day and good luck to you and your boyfriend. Thanks you too!
lvgrly Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 I met my guy off of the net, we talked for about a good month before he came down to see me, he came town 2 weekends in a row, and then we skipped a week, and then on the forth weekend he came down and picked me up I came up here for a week, he brought me back home and then 2 weeks went by and I moved in. I think the only reason why we moved in so quickly is because I was 10 hours away, and we both kinda knew that if one of us didnt make the move that it wouldnt work out the way that we wanted.. So I would say that we were together a good month before I moved in..And I have lived up here since may. I dont think there is any time frame on when is good and when is not..Its all about how you feel, and what YOU think is right. But I promise you, moving in with someone is a true test. You see alot of things that you didnt see before when you guys were just dating and living in seperate places...
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by lvgrly I met my guy off of the net, we talked for about a good month before he came down to see me, he came town 2 weekends in a row, and then we skipped a week, and then on the forth weekend he came down and picked me up I came up here for a week, he brought me back home and then 2 weeks went by and I moved in. I think the only reason why we moved in so quickly is because I was 10 hours away, and we both kinda knew that if one of us didnt make the move that it wouldnt work out the way that we wanted.. So I would say that we were together a good month before I moved in..And I have lived up here since may. I dont think there is any time frame on when is good and when is not..Its all about how you feel, and what YOU think is right. But I promise you, moving in with someone is a true test. You see alot of things that you didnt see before when you guys were just dating and living in seperate places... That's exactly us. He lives about 2.5 hours away from me. One of us needed to make the move to really make things work. Have you been noticing anything about your BF? Is everything still going strongly? Any advice of what to do and what not to do? I think that there should be no times frame either. When you think your ready...do it. And I am ready. Thanx LVG!
lvgrly Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Well Since I lived 10 hours away I was brought into his world. I didnt know anyone up here other than him, and that was a rough transition. Yes things are still going stong, and I think that we feel even more strongly about each other now then what we did. Well thats obvious because when you are with someone for a while, or even living with him you are forced to learn new things about them..Some things you dont want to learn and then the others you are willing and eger to learn.. The only advice I can give you, and this is from my own mistakes of learning..Is even though you would be living with him, he still needs his freedom. Yes he does have a female living with him now, but if he still wants to go out with the guys by himself it would be best to let him. And the only reason I say that, is because its hard enough to let a woman move in, he already would feel a little tied down, and then to be told that he can or cant do something would just make it all worse.. Open communication. You think you need to be clear and open with him now, just wait until you move in. Its all about communication.. I wish you the best..
Opium Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 But I promise you, moving in with someone is a true test. You see alot of things that you didnt see before when you guys were just dating and living in seperate places... That is true, IHNFC. I've had friends of mine move to the next level and moved in together to find that the person who they were with were completely different in a house setting. But besides the fact that other may not do well, it doesn't mean you won't. From what you say about your man, he seems like a good genuine guy who will help you and take care of what he has to as a man.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 Thanx guys, You made me feel so much better about the situation. I'll keep you guys updated. Were going to look at Apartments tomorrow and all weekend. Should be fun!
clandestinidad Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 My boyfriend and I got together quickly just like you did....and we were long distance too, first he lived in GA and I lived in TX...he moved here to TX within a month & 1/2. Then we were 4 1/2 hours away (b/c thats the quickest job he could get in order to get as close as he could that soon). We did that for about 8-9 months and realized we couldnt anymore, and how he's in the same city as me (been here since May-ish). We've been together for a year now.....I guess my point is that just because people want to be closer geographically doesnt mean they need to/should live together. Why not try it out in the same city for a few months.....but thats just what I think. And whatever works for different people is great. I know its exciting, and I wish yall much happiness!!!!!!
Outcast Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 As does every single person on the site Not really. Some people actually do follow the advice they are given rather than just posting in hopes of a chorus of "I totally agree". its hard enough to let a woman move in, he already would feel a little tied down Oh right. How is it that only men ever feel 'tied down'? Answer: he's not all that happy you're there. Living together should be a happy experience for both people, not an experience of being 'trapped' for either. Any advice of what to do and what not to do? You seem to think that the people who caution you against doing this aren't speaking from experience as well.
lvgrly Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 SO Mr Jackass, you mean to tell me that when a guy lets a girl move in, that not even in the slightest bit that he wont feel tied down? I dont agree with that..And did I say that my boyfriend was like that? No, I dont recall saying that...So Dont try to comment on something you have nothing to do with...
Outcast Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 I'm saying nobody should feel 'tied down'. Not him. Not her. Nobody. IMHO anybody whining about feeling 'tied down' hasn't grown up yet.
CurlyIam Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue That's exactly us. He lives about 2.5 hours away from me. One of us needed to make the move to really make things work. Have you been noticing anything about your BF? Is everything still going strongly? Any advice of what to do and what not to do? I think that there should be no times frame either. When you think your ready...do it. And I am ready. Thanx LVG! I've lived both situations. I've been with a guy whom I kinda immediately lived with - not really, but he was a my place the whole time and after one year we moved in together and with another guy whom I was really attracted to, but was living far away - more than 2 hours. Well, even if I was dying to see my guy during the week, the fact that we only saw eachother some weekends helped me a lot. Because I'm a very impulsive person and the distance made me take it easier which is such a great thing because it forced me to enjoy all stages of our relationship. However, as the relationship matured, I did feel the need for more. How does your bf feel about this? Is he as into this idea as you are? Has he lived alone before? or with another woman? I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad idea, but before moving in you need: 1. to know what to expect - you need to really know him, 'cause he may be a sweetie on a date, but if he leaves his dirty underwear outside the laundry box, it's up to you to deal with it! 2. have no regrets - like partying like a crazy woman, picking guys up, girl's night out and the rest of them. 'cause you need to fight hard in order to preserve your independance and after you two are moving in together, things are never gonna be the same for either one of you. That you should expect . Other than that, if you two are really inlove... you're bound to be very happy. Happy appartment hunting, darling!
crazy_grl Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 IhavenoFREAKINclue, my advice is that if you have any doubt, don't do it. Since you're here asking for advice and wondering if the naysayers might be right, then I'd say you have some doubts. So just wait. If it's right, you'll still be together 3, 6, or 12 months from now and you can do it then.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 18, 2005 Author Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by CurlyIam 1. to know what to expect - you need to really know him, 'cause he may be a sweetie on a date, but if he leaves his dirty underwear outside the laundry box, it's up to you to deal with it! Things like that don't bother me anyway. 2. have no regrets - like partying like a crazy woman, picking guys up, girl's night out and the rest of them. Been there.......It got old 'cause you need to fight hard in order to preserve your Independence and after you two are moving in together, things are never gonna be the same for either one of you. That you should expect . I Do, but it will be for the better. Other than that, if you two are really inlove... you're bound to be very happy. Happy appartment hunting, darling! Thanx!
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