IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 What do you think is enough time before people decide to live together. Do you think there's even a time frame to go by? What do you think?
Merin Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 I don't know if there is a right or wrong answer... I have been with my BF for about nine months now and we talked last month about living together when my lease is up in December... I'm good to go with that, and honestly if my lease was up at this point I would have been okay with moving in with him now...
Teag Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 My brother in law moved in w/ his girlfriend about 2-3 months after they first started dating & they only knew each other for about 1-2 months before that. They are happy now but have only been living together for about 3 months now only together about 6-7 months. On the other hand my H & I waited til we were together for about a year before we started living together. So it really depends on how comfortable you are with each other & the idea. I was uncomfortable to move in w/ my H too soon b/c I did it before & it turned out to be a nightmare.
Opium Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 IHNFC, are you still shaking? I would say it depends on the relationship and how well you know your partner. Usually I would say after maybe a year of dating (with full commitment) I would consider moving in with my SO. I would also make sure that the money is good and we won't have any problems in that field.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 16, 2005 Author Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Opium IHNFC, are you still shaking? No, but everyone is telling me that its too soon and its relationship suicide if I move in with my BF. We've been together since May. Were not moving in together until October. We talked and he's not rushing me and I really want to, but everyone says its too soon.
Outcast Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 It is too soon. The wise advice I've heard is that you should spend four seasons with someone before you take any major steps.
Opium Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue No, but everyone is telling me that its too soon and its relationship suicide if I move in with my BF. We've been together since May. Were not moving in together until October. We talked and he's not rushing me and I really want to, but everyone says its too soon. Is everyone else in your relationship? Do they make decisions for you in your life? NO, so you do whatever makes you feel happy and whatever step comes next in your relationship. Don't worry about other people, worry about you and your man starting a life.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 16, 2005 Author Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Opium Is everyone else in your relationship? Do they make decisions for you in your life? NO, so you do whatever makes you feel happy and whatever step comes next in your relationship. Don't worry about other people, worry about you and your man starting a life. Your right.... In my mindset right now, were ready for the next step. We have a wonderful relationship that will continue to grow and its safe to say it will grow stronger together.
Opium Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue Your right.... In my mindset right now, were ready for the next step. We have a wonderful relationship that will continue to grow and its safe to say it will grow stronger together. Then that's all you have to worry about. If it doesn't work out, you live and you learn. You can't live your life by what others tell you, you'll never be happy.
clandestinidad Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 For me, it would need to be at least a year and a half....if at all.....I dont really know how I feel about that actually, but it would have to be over 1 year together at least
clandestinidad Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 For me, it would need to be at least a year and a half....if at all.....I dont really know how I feel about that actually, but it would have to be over 1 year together yall havent been together very long, imo
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 16, 2005 Author Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 yall haven't been together very long, imo But you don't know anything about our relationship (if that sounded bitch, it was not meant to be) If you believe in love at first sight (which I do) Are you going to tell those people that you can't love someone you just met. We have the relationship that people who have been together for years have.
Outcast Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Everybody, especially many of the people who write to LS about their broken relationships, thinks that they will last forever during the first half year. Do you think that people move in together thinking they'll break up? Of course not! They also marry thinking they are perfectly matched but they don't spend enough time making sure they are. You are not the first person to be POSITIVE that HE IS THE ONE you know. If you plan to spend your whole lives together, what's the rush anyway?
clandestinidad Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 quote:Originally posted by kat23 yall haven't been together very long, imo But you don't know anything about our relationship (if that sounded bitch, it was not meant to be) If you believe in love at first sight (which I do) Are you going to tell those people that you can't love someone you just met. We have the relationship that people who have been together for years have. oh my god...youre such a b1t(h!! J/K!! nah, thats great that you think that about your relationship! I was just saying that for ME, it would have to be after 1 & 1/2 years or so. Obviously you and your relationship is different than mine.....and if you feel like its right to live together after this long then thats great! I know that sometimes people meet that special person, and it feels like you've been together forever....if only all things could be that wonderful
Neptune Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 That statement "everyone says it`s too soon" concerns me. The ol` saying "love is blind but the neighbors ain`t" kind of comes to mind.
kanga Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 I agree that it depends on the couple. I used to contend it takes at least -- going through all four seasons -- but I've changed my opinion about that. I have a friend who was engaged six months after dating his gf and they moved in together soon afterward. They were engaged for a year and a half. Married for two now. I think it's important though that both really know themselves and the other and have realistic expectations. If the right one comes along for me (and I think he's very close by) I could easily move in within a few months under the right circumstances. But again, I think it really depends on you and the sig other.
kitkat826 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue If you believe in love at first sight (which I do) Are you going to tell those people that you can't love someone you just met. We have the relationship that people who have been together for years have. I think thats the problem, I [/i]don't believe you can "love" someone at first sight. Fall in love? Yes. But love is not instantaneous. And there are many, many people who mistake those first intense feelings for the foundation and be-all of a stable, long term relationship. I think thats why people advocate for waiting in most cases, to make sure that you have something real.
CurvyGurl Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 If shacking up for a number of yrs is ok with you, go for it. IMHO, if you want marriage, don't live with him. In an independent survey (of every friend I've ever had that lived with their SO before marriage) it took an average of 3-7 yrs to get him to marry them. Compare that to my friends that DIDN'T live with their SO before marriage and they were engaged after the first year and married before year two. My goal is to be married. I've no intention of living like a wife before I am one. I would never move in with someone unless I was engaged with a date set. It's just too easy for him to become complacent with getting the milk for free, if you know what I mean.
Outcast Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Best scenario: go out, get engaged, live together, marry. Think of the 'live together' as the 'test drive' for the real thing. If you can't live peacefully and happily together, you might as well find out before you've spent all the money and gotten all the legal entanglements involved.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 I understand the majority of people would wait until the relationship has been here and there and what not. But maybe, just maybe, we'll be part of that group that does move quickly and makes it. Who know? And that's a chance I'm willing to take.
CurvyGurl Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 So if you have already decided you're going to do it, why pose the question?
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 Why does anybody post anything on LS? Reassurance. Advice. That's a stupid question. You've been here long enough to know why people ask anything here.
CurvyGurl Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 My question was not stupid. You asked a question and then refuted every answer that you don't agree with.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 As does every single person on the site, your point?
CurvyGurl Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 This is my favorite part of posting on Bulletin Boards. I can't figure out why people don't preface every thread with 'I only want to hear from people who agree with me'. You have a great day and good luck to you and your boyfriend.
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