aznatama Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Hi, I'm new to the forum, but I'm pretty much exhausted all my resources looking for help and answers... so maybe someone here can give me some insight on things? to make a long story short, here's some history about me and my gf who was originally from WI... She moved to CA due to a traumatic experience at home (think Law and Order: SVU w/o the tragic ending), and we started talking... after talking to her for a while, and due to some unexpected situations, I ended up helping her out and letting her move in with me... then after she made it seem like CA was going to be a somewhat permanant thing for her, we decided to get together... and then, after she finished school and went on a vacation back to WI, she decided to not come back... She says she wants to be independant and do things for herself w/o attachments and such, but all I see is that she' relying on everybody else to do things for her... she relys on her friends to shuttle her around since she has no car or license, her friend helped her submit resumes and find a job, she is planning on moving into an apt w/ her friend so she can be "on her own." What bothers me the most is that she constantly has moments where she says she wants to come back to CA, and if I can get her into the acting/modeling business, that she'll come back since that's what she wants to do. But then after I prepare everything for her, set her up for casting registration and headshot appointments, she backs out and doesn't want to come anymore. Another thing that bothers me is this friend of her's is a guy who has had a crush on her for over a year, and has hurt her so many times since we got together (kissed her out of nowhere, tried to do "things" to her while she was drunk, tried to turn all her friends against me and lied straight in my face about things that happened...) I don't even know why she stiull trusts him. I know she has no feelings for him whatsoever, and he's her lil whipped dog that will do anything she asks. But yeah, back to the point... she says that she really loves me and that I'm the only one she can see her future with... and I feel the same way, but WHY couldn't she do all that stuff here in CA?? I mean, when I try to help her out, she gets mad at me for not letting her do things on her own, then she runs back to WI and lets everyone else do everything for her and she's always thankful towards them. I tried to get her a job here, I tried to take her to get her license, I try to give her advise on things, and she just blows up on me for acting like a parent.. She says that I need more experience with girls and maybe I should go out with some girls to learn about them. I don't get it, it's not like I'm clingy, I give her space, I have my own things to do too. she gets upset when I go do my own things, and she gets upset when I stay by her side. It just seems like I'm more of a convenience to her when she wants something from me, and when she's content, she doesn't want me to bother her. We even tried to be just friends, but she got pissed at me for talking to her like I would talk to a normal friend... ??? I am so confused. If I were her, I would try to settle down near the person I loved, becasue my family and friends will always be there for me even though they are far away, and I can always make additional friends. But she decided to go back home becasue she had nothing here, and start over in WI... ???? Sorry for the long post, but if anyone can help me explain this phenomenon, please help me!
Breathe Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 You try and try and try and try and you still aren't getting the results you want. You aren't getting the things you need. Nothing you do will please this girl. She tells you she loves you, but do her actions prove this? How much of your life do you want to dedicate to someone that only brings you pain and misery?
TnT Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 I would have to agree... someone who plays games like that is not worth it. She is contradicting herself from what u wrote. U need to be firm with her and tell her how this is playing with ur mind and emotiuons. Might be a nice idea to find someone else???? I dont know but y do ppl stay in a relationship when its obviously not working and making them unhappy? Is she worth all this trouble???
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