real35 Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 The basics. I'm a 31 year old guy. I'm currently living with my mother and sister. I'm working a minimum wage job I don't really like or hate. I don't have a car. Public transport is my main source of transportation. My main goal in life is pursing and ultimately achieving a career in the arts (visual arts, writing etc) I am far, far from where I want to be in my life suffice it to say and that has prevented me from pursing a relationship for what feels like an eternity. But these days I'm been wanting to bring a woman into my life. I'm tried of being alone honestly. But with the personal life roadblocks I mentioned in the beginning it makes me wonder if bringing a woman into my life is even worth it. Should I pursue a relationship?
d0nnivain Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 What else are you going to do? If you want a relationship pursue one. What are you doing to achieve your goal of working in the arts? If you are taking concrete steps to do that I think an understanding partner will be OK with your current situation but if all you are doing is subsisting & dreaming, your attractiveness diminishes. 1
coolheadal Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 Why not go for it. If all works out you can move into the girl friend apartment when that time is right. Don't waste your time thinking about it! Make it happen, life is only what you make of it today! Sure I too as man don't want to be lonely event today it's Sunday. When the right woman I can be with happens I'll make that choice myself. I am currently single and not seeing anyone. The other one didn't work out as I had hope. There is one at my job I might ask her out she laughs when I tell her something funny. Always looking at me and smiling. But I have to approach with that question are you seeing someone, you living with someone are you married or separated of divorce. Got to ask those question first before I can say like to get some breakfast? 1
Gaeta Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 (edited) If only professionals and financially secure people were allowed to be in relationships then only half of us would be in one, right! That being said I think you need to revise your life's plan. It's cute at 21 to want to be an artist and live at mom's but not so cute at 31. You need to have a plan B and this plan B is to have a job that can allow you to live on your own and provide for all of your needs then you take your dream and make it something you want to acheive on the side. I don't know if you've been to school? if not get yourself back to school and study something that will give you a job with a good pay. You don't need to look far, over here a trade job of 18 months will pay you $25+ per hour: Welder, electrician, plumber, painter, name it. You are at a cross road here. It's really hard at 40 to make a life change. Do it now. After 35 you'll see no women want to date starving artists living under mom's roof. Edited October 15, 2017 by Gaeta 2
Highndry Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 I'd rather meet a woman when I was flat broke than flush with cash. It weeds out the opportunists and you know she's into you, not your money.
smackie9 Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 There are artsy hippy girls out there that wouldn't care. True story: I worked with this guy that never owned a car, he rode a bike to work and lived on his friend's couch. He was dating a girl long distance ish....she lived across the border in Seattle. They are now married livin off the grid in a bus on Vancouver Island. He does odd jobs at a resort, and she does face painting during the summer at events and fairs. So there's hope for you. 1
Miss Spider Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 Artsy, hippie girl checking in. I would not care. I don't date guys because they're status or money, I date them because they're cute. Just kidding. Although, seriously, not every girl needs you to have everything in order right now. As long as you have plans to get there. As long as you doing something with your life or trying. Most women want you to be bringing it in, unfortunately. 3
Cobra_X Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 The basics. I'm a 31 year old guy. I'm currently living with my mother and sister. I'm working a minimum wage job I don't really like or hate. I don't have a car. Public transport is my main source of transportation. My main goal in life is pursing and ultimately achieving a career in the arts (visual arts, writing etc) I am far, far from where I want to be in my life suffice it to say and that has prevented me from pursing a relationship for what feels like an eternity. But these days I'm been wanting to bring a woman into my life. I'm tried of being alone honestly. But with the personal life roadblocks I mentioned in the beginning it makes me wonder if bringing a woman into my life is even worth it. Should I pursue a relationship? By 31 I was making an equivalent of $60 an hour. Career confidence translates into dating confidence. If you can't feel good about where you are at in life, then you will never feel good about asking someone to join you. That's really what a relationship entails. You are asking someone to join in your life. If your life isn't going the way you want... women are going to see that and very few will want to join you in failure. With that said, you can overcome this by enjoying and being happy about the life you are currently leading. Lots of women will respond to that. My cousin is a party animal who enjoys every minute. The guy is fun to be around. He sucks at working and has no career. However, he is handsome and has been able to find older women to support him the last 7 or 8 years. Otherwise he would be living at home. 4
Author real35 Posted October 15, 2017 Author Posted October 15, 2017 All very real words! Thank you! 2
Space Ritual Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 There is someone for everybody. That being said, If I had a dime for every person who wanted to become a writer or an artist and actually make a successful living at it, I'd be broke. You never know, though.... I'm 53 years old,a rap sheet as long as a Chicago Phone book, have bullet holes, knife wounds, and scars that look like a railroad map all over my body. Medals of a lifetime of hardscrabble existence And I date pretty successfully, and usually women 20+ years my Junior. I am successful at it because I am myself, warts, scars and all. I also know when to pack up the Circus and move out of town(i.e. date casually and ride it for all it's worth and bow out gracefully when some younger guy comes along) when it's time. If you are yourself, however, there will be someone out there for you that will accept you for who you are. I am living proof of it. So give a relationship a try. There are plenty of unconventional, beautiful and exciting women out there. Especially the Redheads. They are many things, but boring is not one of them. Plus some chicks really dig scars... Good Luck. 1
Author real35 Posted October 15, 2017 Author Posted October 15, 2017 If only professionals and financially secure people were allowed to be in relationships then only half of us would be in one, right! That being said I think you need to revise your life's plan. It's cute at 21 to want to be an artist and live at mom's but not so cute at 31. You need to have a plan B and this plan B is to have a job that can allow you to live on your own and provide for all of your needs then you take your dream and make it something you want to acheive on the side. I don't know if you've been to school? if not get yourself back to school and study something that will give you a job with a good pay. You don't need to look far, over here a trade job of 18 months will pay you $25+ per hour: Welder, electrician, plumber, painter, name it. You are at a cross road here. It's really hard at 40 to make a life change. Do it now. After 35 you'll see no women want to date starving artists living under mom's roof. This is a BIG reason why I HATE describing myself as an "artist" or aspiring artist. Unless your actually doing something professionally just another way of saying dreamer.
smackie9 Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 The reality is very few make it big as an artist in anything and usually make it big when they are dead. Most famous artists were poppers living on someones couch. I was an artist too many years ago, even had the education for it. I ended up doing something totally different that actually paid the bills. It's a struggle for sure. 1
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