Aimée Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 ReluctantRomeo, Thanks for the advice. However, I have asked her out many times. I invited to a friend's bbq on Memorial Day, I took her to the local museum and art galleries, etc. I did set the agenda on many of our meetings. I think you need something more exciting to sweep her off her feets. But, she is now two-thousand miles away. If I do send a letter it is not going to be mushy. I have never been one to let loose with my emotions. It will be matter of fact. It will NOT contain anything about undying love. I am afraid that that would make her very uncomfortable. (Her mixed signals made me uncomfortable, I don't want to reciprocate that). Bad bad idea. You know, stop all this writing, do something. I just want her to know that I am there for her. She has taught me many things about myself. And I have learned many things about her as well. I really do admire her beauty, intelligence, and her spirituality. But I must know if she feels that the relationship can move in another direction. I realize that a LDR probably wouldnt work. This is eating at my heart big time. I repeat: She has told you already what she wants and if you do it right you may have a relationship with her. I'm pretty sure she is not going to tell you that she wants a relationship with you. It's about you now, not her. If you continue to ask her she'll think less of you because you're not getting her signals and then she will put you in the friends corner where a couple of other guys are sitting there hoping she will one day wake up and see Prince Charming in them.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 ReluctantRomeo, Thanks for the advice. My pleasure However, I have asked her out many times. I invited to a friend's bbq on Memorial Day, I took her to the local museum and art galleries, etc. I did set the agenda on many of our meetings. But, she is now two-thousand miles away. Ditto Aimée's comments. This is not exciting. Try alternating something way more dynamic with pauses to allow her to miss you and feel she needs to chase you. In other words: be a little unpredictable. I just want her to know that I am there for her. If you say this, I'm gonna come over there and smack you myself Trust me - the last thing this kind of girl wants is you to hand yourself to her on a plate. She will be way more motivated - and respect you more - if she has to put in some effort too. But I must know if she feels that the relationship can move in another direction. She has already given pretty clear indications. She likes you, but wants more manly. So be a man. Start by being more independent, less needy and definitely no "I'll always be your puppy dog". This is eating at my heart big time. Yeah, it sucks. But I think you're in with a chance. Tell us how it goes. Good luck bro.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Either go for it or stop boring her. Word. :D
Aimée Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 ReluctantRomeo, Thanks for the advice. And why is nobody thanking me for my advice? On a sidenote: it seems as if guys asking for advice about women never really appreciate the accurateness of my opinion. I don't know how many posts I made and how often I was right but all these guys are always so much smarter and never ever listen to what a woman tells them about another woman instead they listen to a guy?! If you say this, I'm gonna come over there and smack you myself Yeah!
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 it seems as if guys asking for advice about women never really appreciate the accurateness of my opinion. I think I made my own views pretty clear, but just in case - Aimée, je t'aime. Your advice is awesome, and I shall be coming to you for input on my own love life in due course
Aimée Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 I think I made my own views pretty clear, but just in case - Aimée, je t'aime. Your advice is awesome, and I shall be coming to you for input on my own love life in due course Awww. You're good in sweeping women off their feet.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Awww. You're good in sweeping women off their feet. Yup, but I save my talents for the good ones
Author mrB2006 Posted September 7, 2005 Author Posted September 7, 2005 Aimee, I apologize. Thank you for your input. It is much appreciated. MrB2006
Author mrB2006 Posted September 7, 2005 Author Posted September 7, 2005 Aimee, I had several chances to kiss her. I chickened out. Once, we were at Barnes and Noble Bookstore. She wanted to read me a Maurice Sendak book. We were standing side-by-side, my arm around her waist. I didn't make another move. Now, am paying for this indecisiveness. What can I do if I am twothousand miles from her? At the moment, I cant afford to visit her. MrB2006
elijahBailey Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 just finished reading the entire thread....Why does anyone think this guy's got a chance with her? He's firmly rooted in the friends category. All the 'signals' he's been gettin'.... well, maybe she's trying to persuade herself, but, ya know what.... I bet she can't even persuade herself Dude, stop tormenting yourself and move on. The reason why your mind is movin' in circles is cos you just don't wanna hear her rejection. You can't analyse the situation by taking a microscope and examine each of her actions individually. Ya gotta look at things as a whole. And.... things are.... you're reading too deep into things.
Author mrB2006 Posted September 7, 2005 Author Posted September 7, 2005 Ok, this will be the end of my questions. I know that she loves to dance. She has always hinted that she wants to go out dancing with me. I don't know how to dance. Should I take a dance class? I also know that she is very spiritual. I will try to study up on religion and spirituality. I will see her in December. She will be on Christmas break. My thought: Put all this on hold until then. I can take her out on the town. We could go dancing, etc. Now there is a chance she will have a man by then. But maybe that would convince her that I am somewhat adventurous. If it doesnt pan out, I will move on with my life. MrB2006
elijahBailey Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Ok, this will be the end of my questions. I know that she loves to dance. She has always hinted that she wants to go out dancing with me. I don't know how to dance. Should I take a dance class? I also know that she is very spiritual. I will try to study up on religion and spirituality. I will see her in December. She will be on Christmas break. My thought: Put all this on hold until then. I can take her out on the town. We could go dancing, etc. Now there is a chance she will have a man by then. But maybe that would convince her that I am somewhat adventurous. If it doesnt pan out, I will move on with my life. MrB2006 And I've got a better idea. Why don't you call her up and tell her everything that's in your mind. That way, you don't have to wait till Christmas and waste your time and money on the dance class. I just hate to see you tormenting yourself anymore.
Aimée Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Aimee, I apologize. Thank you for your input. It is much appreciated. MrB2006 You're forgiven. Aimee, I had several chances to kiss her. I chickened out. Once, we were at Barnes and Noble Bookstore. She wanted to read me a Maurice Sendak book. We were standing side-by-side, my arm around her waist. I didn't make another move. Now, am paying for this indecisiveness. What can I do if I am twothousand miles from her? At the moment, I cant afford to visit her. Honestly, I'm not sure what I should recommend in respect to your problem with the distance... If I were in her place I might get a bit impatient because you start acting when things are over more or less, you should have done something before. Y It would still be a good idea to kiss her when you're visiting her but if you can't afford it at the moment that's a really hard enterprise to ignite a spark from the distance. I think you need to take it from words to actions, from emotional comfort to something more physical, just my guess. just finished reading the entire thread....Why does anyone think this guy's got a chance with her? He's firmly rooted in the friends category. All the 'signals' he's been gettin'.... well, maybe she's trying to persuade herself, but, ya know what.... I bet she can't even persuade herself Dude, stop tormenting yourself and move on. The reason why your mind is movin' in circles is cos you just don't wanna hear her rejection. Unless you're a woman you don't really have a say in this. I can tell you how I treat guys who are out of the race and have zero chance. I treat them like female buddies, I try to put a lot of distance between us, I try to avoid any kind of signals that might make them misunderstand me in any way. When you have guy friends who are hoping for more then you don't start talking about your single status, you don't talk about romantic stuff and when they ask you what you like in a man you just make jokes, you give evasive answers, you do not want to talk with them about this, you won't go into details. There are some guy friends who know they have no chance with you, are happy with it and go out look for other women - that's cool then and I might discuss personal stuff with them. What this girl did was exactly what I would have done if I had found a guy interesting but who hasn't managed to convince me completely. I test him. I observe. I ask innocent questions.
elijahBailey Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Unless you're a woman you don't really have a say in this. oh, the doctor's in the house.... I'm backing off now What this girl did was exactly what I would have done if I had found a guy interesting but who hasn't managed to convince me completely. I test him. I observe. I ask innocent questions. whatever. I wish you luck helping him on this one
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