JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Kind of a spin off from the Strong Women thread. How do men handle Overly Sensitive women? What constitues normal sensitivity versuse over sensitivity? What kind of men can handle overly sensitive women? Feedback?
alphamale Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 what's your definition of "overly sensitive"? give me examples.
Cecelius Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 To me, Oversensitive Woman = high maintenence = low self esteem = promiscuous, high capacity to cheat, monkey girls and/or lazy girls. Of course it is not that simple, but unless I get a shred of info that they are merely eager or something like that, I stay away from overly emotional women.
alphamale Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius I stay away from overly emotional women. well CELCIUS, then you better go gay cause I haven't met too many women who are not overly emotional
Author JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale what's your definition of "overly sensitive"? give me examples. Well that's what I'm trying to get from you guys. I've read some posts recently, Poideme's (sp?) comes to mind, of things that I think are ok but may be construed as being sensitive/saying too much. Not sure I agree with Celcius
Author JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Author Posted August 16, 2005 nor do i think that he should be dating monkeys
JPMorgan Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Really need to define what sensitive is and what in your opinion constitutes overly sensitive. Same with emotional vs. overly emotional. There are some guys out there who think that any show of emotion from a woman is overly-emotional. All they want is passionate sex and that's all the 'emotion' and 'sensitivity' they think women should have. Some guys think that they should be able to treat their women like they treat their buds and call them names or slug 'em in the shoulder or whatever and if the woman's feelings are hurt by it then they are overly sensitive or overly emotional. The best way to "handle" anyone is to try to understand them and accept their differences AS differences, not as flaws or weaknesses.
Cecelius Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 You said "overly" and I filled in the degree myself. I assumed that mere womanly sensitivity was not included.
Jayhawks Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 Kind of a spin off from the Strong Women thread. How do men handle Overly Sensitive women? What constitutes normal sensitivity verses over sensitivity? What kind of men can handle overly sensitive women? Feedback? If a women is very emotional and demanding you handle them with laughter and by being casual unless the situation calls for seriousness. Overly sensitive people are bitchy and demanding and want there way. You take everything to heart and expect him to cater to you. You will give your all in the relationship so you expect the same from him. Men who can play off your emotions and make you feel wanted and desired. Your a little high maintenance and want a man who can handle you and be your equal. A man who can tell you no when he needs to and won't give in to your demanding ways but is a sweetheart and wants you to be happy.
Author JS17 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 eh forget it. i hate definitions anyway
clandestinidad Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 LMAO!!!! you dropped that one fast.....thats hilarious!!
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by Jayhawks If a women is very emotional and demanding you handle them with laughter and by being casual unless the situation calls for seriousness. Overly sensitive people are bitchy and demanding and want there way. You take everything to heart and expect him to cater to you. You will give your all in the relationship so you expect the same from him. Men who can play off your emotions and make you feel wanted and desired. Your a little high maintenance and want a man who can handle you and be your equal. A man who can tell you no when he needs to and won't give in to your demanding ways but is a sweetheart and wants you to be happy. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I believe you just described ME almost to a TEE! I tell people I'm a bit emotionally high maintenance (hasn't scared anyone yet). I don't get bitchy, especially not in a new relationship when expectations are few, but I do get emotional to an extent where I shut down, or back off a bit and get quiet because I don't want to scare him away. I'm fairly easily offended but I don't express myself well, therefore I just keep quiet. The smile may fade when this happens as well. I don't expect the guy to read my mind, and I need to learn to speak up more.
Author JS17 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 Does very sensitive = emotionally high maintenance?
animo Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Like some guys before me i would also put this under the 'high maintenance' tab... HM women take everything you say personally, keep trying to pick fights with you, sometimes even try to stump you or drive you mad with illogical reasoning and arguments. I know a little bit abotu this because i spent almost 5 years together with a 'medium' maintenance woman. So how would i handle that? Well basically don't give into all the sobbing and whining, don't get drawn into debates or fights (you will just lose) and don't give into her consistent unreasonable demands. Since if you do your just another geek boy, another one of her pets. If she cries i let her cry and hold her while she cries, i don't try to understand what's wrong because i quite frankly CAN'T. Talking about her problems in a fashion of trying to offer solutions is usually the same as shooting yourself in the foot. Let her talk, let her know you hear her and be supportive...If she makes an outragious demand you say 'no'. Pretty simple once you get it all down, you just have to be willing to live with that sort of thing i guess... HM women need a good mechanic Does it mean emotional high maintenance? Hmmm yeah haven't really thought of that but yes that's pretty much what it means. the funny thing is you don't really have to 'maintain' anything because trying to fix stuff is suicide for the guy. But high maintenance can also mean alot of attenwhoring, and alot of uncomfortable moments. Just imagen you are at a party, you make a statement about something('doesn't even have to relate to her), she takes it to heart and gives you the evil look... Well that sort of thing is much less enjoyable then a good party with some good laughs, instead you get to pay the cat and mouse game again. Given enough time that sort of stuff can wear you out and you get sick of it. What HM compared to normal or low? Well basically everything is more relaxed. LM women don't take things to heart so fast, forgive you if you slip your tongue and blurt out something that may be offensive, don't need reassurance 24/7 and have no problem sleeping with you if you happen to 'neglect' being cassanova for a while. So yeah in the end, i guess i could handle medium sensitivity or even high sensitivity but that's not the sort of connection i'm looking for in a women. I want my relationship to be a bit more relaxed because i have no desire to throw a nervous breakdown any time during my life and i also have no desire for being a parent to my kids aswell as my wife basically. I hope noone takes offence by this but i perceive HM and MM women as a bit 'immature' and i just get tired of that sort of thing fairly fast. Turns into a drag and work prett fast for me basically...
pearlsasinger Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 I think there are at least two sub categories within the overly sensitive category: 1. The overly emotional woman with self-esteem issues/insecurities or anxiety issues. (I think this is where my moments of being overly sensitive stem from...and I think ALL of us have our moments.) 2. The overly emotional woman who is high maintenence/demanding...In otherwords, a bitch...the kind Cecelius and Jayhawks described.
Author JS17 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 Ok, now we're getting somewhere. Let's discuss #1. The overly emotional woman with self-esteem issues/insecurities or anxiety issues. This is where we're talking about someone who is emotional and possibly emotionally high maintenance but not overall high maintenance. Someone who isn't demanding but maybe needs a man to not crack jokes about their woman or pay a little attention to her.
pearlsasinger Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 I think the right guy for this kind of women would have to be patient, kind, mature...and have confidence because it would help balance out the insecurities that she has. Now just how many guys out there actually possess all four of those qualities?
animo Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Which comes down to the same thing, only these women are not being demanding on a concious level... Walking around on eggshells all the time and having to weigh your words left and right as to not upset the 'misus' and then have her go nuts anyway over some completely trivial thing, is just...well it's cold hard punishment, that's what it is. And you always get the same answer if you try to fight them on it and try to make it clear that it was totally trivial and furthermore nothing was meanth by it, it's always 'it's important to me!'... Like i said i spent 5 years with someone like this in a relationship. I spent 5 years making myself into a monster, thinking i'm the biggest jerk on the planet and she would always fight me on it saying i'm great and good to her and blahblahblah but it would always preceed another shower of cold hard punishment. I didn't know how to deal with it. I wanted her to be happy, more relaxed and not take everythign so dan literal or serious....but it was just not possible for her. From my experience, if you get into a relationship with a HM woman you just cannot care so deeply and intensly abotu her or you will end up hurting herself. Even if you let her whine and cry and only offer your shoulder for support, it's still going to hurt knowing she is not happy and you're still going to end up biting your tongue half the time not to upset her. Personally i can't do HM women because i get involved to deeply, but i guess there is a match for everyone and the kind of guy that best suits HM women is the kind of guy who doesn't take his gf/wife so seriously as he does life in general.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 good posts. I think I'm medium. My exH wasn't supportive on an emotional level at all. He was also med-high because I had to watch how I reacted when he p'd me off. what a sissy girl.
pearlsasinger Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Do you think we need to seek out our emotional equals (someone who gets just as emotional as we do) if a relationship is to be successful? Or do we just need someone with a similar maturity level?
Just Visiting Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I believe you just described ME almost to a TEE! I tell people I'm a bit emotionally high maintenance (hasn't scared anyone yet). I don't get bitchy, especially not in a new relationship when expectations are few, but I do get emotional to an extent where I shut down, or back off a bit and get quiet because I don't want to scare him away. I'm fairly easily offended but I don't express myself well, therefore I just keep quiet. The smile may fade when this happens as well. I don't expect the guy to read my mind, and I need to learn to speak up more. I am the same as well. It's a constant struggle between my head and heart. Do I react to this? Or do I just think about it and keep quiet? Is he being a jerk or am I reading too much into it? I constantly go back and forth in my mind. I am not very good at expressing myself either, which makes it even harder. Luckily, my bf has been pretty understanding and supportive.
Author JS17 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by Just Visiting I am the same as well. It's a constant struggle between my head and heart. Do I react to this? Or do I just think about it and keep quiet? Is he being a jerk or am I reading too much into it? I constantly go back and forth in my mind. I am not very good at expressing myself either, which makes it even harder. Luckily, my bf has been pretty understanding and supportive. ditto...minus the understanding and supportive boyfriend he was a bit of a cheating narcissist so I don't know whether it was me or him. knowing his background though makes me think it was him but regardless I know i'm sensitive about things. when i kept quiet about things he yelled at me for being "weird" and when i spoke up he yelled at me that i didn't understand him and started fights. being told that you're annoying for three weeks straight or to be told that you are rude and embarassing if you missed one person when you are saying goodbye to people at a party or that you've really let yourself go physically when you're trying to work full time, go to grad school part time, and accomodate his schedule doesn't really help to boost your self esteem either. i was never sensitive before him but i am now and i have to accept that i am a sensitive person now and take things to heart that perhaps I shouldn't. so i get the "is he being a jerk or am i reading too much into it?" question. now i never know with people when to speak up and when to keep quiet.
OverProtective Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 Kind of a spin off from the Strong Women thread. How do men handle Overly Sensitive women? What constitues normal sensitivity versuse over sensitivity? What kind of men can handle overly sensitive women? Feedback? Well Sensitive men can handle sensitive women obviously. My girlfriend i have now is really sensitive. and that comes from her mom and grandma and grandpa spoiling her and treating her like a baby. I don't mind it , I love it to be honest. I'm not a "Sensitive" guy. I been described by other gf's as the "guy you wanna end up with" and a father figure. I don't panic, i always seem to know what to do. With my girlfriend i handle her easily. She needs affection and likes to get it, So what do i do? buy her flowers every now and then, write her a poem. Give her plenty of hugs and kisses, tell her she looks pretty etc. The difference between a sensitive girl and a "normal girl" is the way they get mad at you. Sensitive girls will cry like a baby and Will require plenty of pick me ups, "normal girls" get Angry and bitter and ignore you for a week. But who we kidding all girls are Sensitive babies and i wouldn't want it any other way! I'm old fashioned. I believe men are to be strong and Supportive and women to be delicate and caregiving. I'm the protector of my family and will take care of the outter defenses, she is the sympathetic and Merciful caregiver. Etc etc.
Author JS17 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 OP....how do us sensitive girls find guys like you?
animo Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Well lol...over sensitive women have different approaches on how they deal with being upset. Some just cry and only want you to hold them and be there for them. Other though declare war on you for a week straight...and that also goes for the bed btw
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